Asceticism, etc.
Well, it is Monday and I am sitting here at home in bed. Tomorrow, I have to go to the doctor's and get my validation which says that I can go back to work on Wednesday. I still have a rather annoying cold, but my whole body doesn't seem to hurt anymore, and the dizzyness that I would get when standing for more than a few minutes at a time is pretty much gone. My nose is still either completely stuffed or completely running, my throat still swells up every now and then, and I still cough up a lung on a pretty regular basis, but what can I do? In the States, I would have gone to the doctor last Tuesday, he would have actually given me a proper check up to know exactly what was wrong, would have told me to get my rest, drink fluids and would have prescribed me whatever medication that would help clear this mess out of my system. Then, I would have most likely been better in a 3 or 4 days, instead of still being sick after a whole week. Here, the doctors neither give you a proper check up, nor do they perscribe you anything helpful. The last time my husband was sick, the doctor had him pick up a medication that did absolutely nothing for him. I had non-Rx cold medication from the States. That got him back on his feet in no time. Unfortunately, he used the last bit I had of it, so I have nothing here to take to try to help get this out of my system. I will need to have more medication sent for emergencies, or buy a bunch the next time I am home to visit.
All I have to try to help is by comfy bed and green tea. I still can't taste or smell anything 100% yet, but when I took a sip of this "Zen" green tea I bought, I was still able to taste that something was wrong. Today, I read the very VERY fine print on the package, and realized that it is green tea with mango and lemon. Ah-ha! That explains it!
I will admit that I have absolutely no desire to go back to work on Wednesday. I do feel really bad for being absent so many days in a row, since I am sure it has been really stressful for co-workers not having me there; so, I will actually feel good about being back to do my part so that everything can run smoothly again. The energy there can just be so negative, I dread showing my face there ever again at times...
Though I was very sick last Tuesday, I managed to make my way to Berlitz for the interview/assessment. We all introduced ourselves, played a round of the game Taboo and filled out a grammar worksheet; exactly like those that you give your students. To make a long story short, though I was the only one there with any teaching experience at all, they didn't except me because I was too quiet. I guess the cracking barely there voice and the leaving the room to cough for 10 minutes, was not a good clue to show that I was sick. I even knew that as I was sitting there. I thought to myself, they are not going to except me because I am too quiet; but how am I supposed to be social when my head is pounding and I can barely talk? I wrote back apologizng for my sickness and requested that I be invited to their next round of interviews, whenever that might be, so that I might have a chance to meet them while healthy. In the end, even if they had excepted me, I probably would have had to turn them down anyway, since, though I don't know any exact numbers, the pay probably would have been unexceptable for my husband.
Something I have realized during my sick days: The importance of ascetic practices. As Sri Krishna Himself stated, as well as Sri Anandamayi Ma along with so many other wonderful saints and teachers, it is not necessary for a person to give up his or her life and family, etc. in order to achieve moksha. I firmly believe this. I do not think that it is necessary for one to leave his family, friends and whole life behind to wander through the forest in a loin cloth in order to realize ones true self and God; though I give all due honor and respect to those who have, do and will. What I have now realized though, is that there is a need for us to leave the world behind every now and then, in order to be completely alone with God without any distractions from the crazy world that we all live in today. Silence, is a must. Being alone to realize that you are not alone because everything is connected, is a must. Leaving the world to realize that material things are okay to have, but are completely irrelevent things that should not 'have you', so to speak, is a must. Etc. Etc. Etc.
I believe that my soul has the need for bit of asceticism right now. To think that just a little while ago, asceticism is something that I did not understand. Especially, since Krishna Himself said that it really isn't necessary to reach the ultimate goal. I honestly thought that the men and women who have done this were selfish. Though I still think that just leaving everything behind never to return is a bit much, I now understand this practice and have great respect and understanding for it; and I believe that I have Sri Anandamayi Ma to thank for this wonderful realization. Jai Ma!
I kind of wish that I had been born in, or that I were living in, a place that excepts and respects the longing for connection with God as a wonderful thing to spend your days trying to do. Does that make sense? I wish that I were some place where, when that feeling of joy and peace takes over and you know that if you start repeating God's Name that you will realize/experience something wonderful, you can just drop what you are doing and go for it, without someone scolding you, thinking you are weird or interrupting you. If I could, I would drop everyhing right now and run away to an Ashram somewhere...
This understanding of asceticism has deepened my connection and undestanding of Lord Shiva:
One of my ultimate favorites!
All I have to try to help is by comfy bed and green tea. I still can't taste or smell anything 100% yet, but when I took a sip of this "Zen" green tea I bought, I was still able to taste that something was wrong. Today, I read the very VERY fine print on the package, and realized that it is green tea with mango and lemon. Ah-ha! That explains it!
I will admit that I have absolutely no desire to go back to work on Wednesday. I do feel really bad for being absent so many days in a row, since I am sure it has been really stressful for co-workers not having me there; so, I will actually feel good about being back to do my part so that everything can run smoothly again. The energy there can just be so negative, I dread showing my face there ever again at times...
Though I was very sick last Tuesday, I managed to make my way to Berlitz for the interview/assessment. We all introduced ourselves, played a round of the game Taboo and filled out a grammar worksheet; exactly like those that you give your students. To make a long story short, though I was the only one there with any teaching experience at all, they didn't except me because I was too quiet. I guess the cracking barely there voice and the leaving the room to cough for 10 minutes, was not a good clue to show that I was sick. I even knew that as I was sitting there. I thought to myself, they are not going to except me because I am too quiet; but how am I supposed to be social when my head is pounding and I can barely talk? I wrote back apologizng for my sickness and requested that I be invited to their next round of interviews, whenever that might be, so that I might have a chance to meet them while healthy. In the end, even if they had excepted me, I probably would have had to turn them down anyway, since, though I don't know any exact numbers, the pay probably would have been unexceptable for my husband.
Something I have realized during my sick days: The importance of ascetic practices. As Sri Krishna Himself stated, as well as Sri Anandamayi Ma along with so many other wonderful saints and teachers, it is not necessary for a person to give up his or her life and family, etc. in order to achieve moksha. I firmly believe this. I do not think that it is necessary for one to leave his family, friends and whole life behind to wander through the forest in a loin cloth in order to realize ones true self and God; though I give all due honor and respect to those who have, do and will. What I have now realized though, is that there is a need for us to leave the world behind every now and then, in order to be completely alone with God without any distractions from the crazy world that we all live in today. Silence, is a must. Being alone to realize that you are not alone because everything is connected, is a must. Leaving the world to realize that material things are okay to have, but are completely irrelevent things that should not 'have you', so to speak, is a must. Etc. Etc. Etc.
I believe that my soul has the need for bit of asceticism right now. To think that just a little while ago, asceticism is something that I did not understand. Especially, since Krishna Himself said that it really isn't necessary to reach the ultimate goal. I honestly thought that the men and women who have done this were selfish. Though I still think that just leaving everything behind never to return is a bit much, I now understand this practice and have great respect and understanding for it; and I believe that I have Sri Anandamayi Ma to thank for this wonderful realization. Jai Ma!
I kind of wish that I had been born in, or that I were living in, a place that excepts and respects the longing for connection with God as a wonderful thing to spend your days trying to do. Does that make sense? I wish that I were some place where, when that feeling of joy and peace takes over and you know that if you start repeating God's Name that you will realize/experience something wonderful, you can just drop what you are doing and go for it, without someone scolding you, thinking you are weird or interrupting you. If I could, I would drop everyhing right now and run away to an Ashram somewhere...
This understanding of asceticism has deepened my connection and undestanding of Lord Shiva:
One of my ultimate favorites!
Click to view