I dont think i can go on anylonger
So far, this summer sucks hard, greesy, hairy, infected with Aids ASS. If you haven't noticed already, I'm just gonna talk about how life sucks in this entry so dont bother reading any further if you dont want to be annoyed with my constant whining. I warn ya. From this point on is just crap you dont want to hear. Reading this entry will give you cancer. Ok, this is it. Your last chance to turn back....Chance over.
Anyway, #1 My car is still broken so if i want or need to go anywhere i would have to take the bus which takes atleast an hour to get anywhere. Except for if i have to go to work because the bus doesnt go there. When i have to go to work i have to ride my bike, whos brakes hardly work, down the highway for 2.5 miles. And its not like work is worth all that trouble. I hate my co-workers, if i have to do fast food for the rest of my life i am going to kill myself, and i dont get paid very much. #2 After recieving my measly paycheck of 45 dollars after a week of hard labor, i went to the bank to deposit it into my savings account for college as i have always done with most any money i recieve. I decieded i wanted to check up on the balance of my account, because after the many summer programs and work hours i should have over two thousand dollars in it. Turns out my mother has been electronically takeing my money out of my account and it was now empty. At that point i could have walked across the freeway and not cared. My mother took all my money and there was nothing i could do about it. Even if i tryed talking to her she'd just hit me until i shut up like always and put me on punishment. (The next few aren't going to be as fucking, "shoot me in the face" bad as the first two but they still fucking suck and add on to the list of reasons i dont want to go on anymore.)#3 I cant see my boyfriend at all because niether of us have a ride and he lives a good 30 miles away from me. #4 Another summer program is starting and i can tell by the orientation that it is going to be a huge group of very talented, very stuck-up, prissy black kids and im going to be stuck with them all summer every day from 7:30 to 1:00 but 6:00 to 3:00 for me because i have to ride the fucking slow ass bus. #5 Im starting to realize that all the clubs that i participate in and hold an office in need organizing, which isn't that bad, but im going to have to deal with more fucking freshman and their spoiled little ignorant opinions. I dont think i ever wanted to join any of those clubs anyway. The only reason i did it is because im competing with my friend. I dont know why i do it but i have been doing it since elementary school. #6 My one friend, who lives near me and was going to serve as my chill spot or safe heaven as you will, is moving to Selma Alabama for the entire summer. So that means there is nowhere to go if things at home get deadly. #7 Things at home are actually nearing the deadly point. To avoid it, when ever my ma comes home i just go and hide in my room, where there is no TV or computer so i just end up stareing at the wall the entire time, until late at night when she's asleep. #8 There are two awsome concerts comeing to town that i will not be able to attend because of the lack of a ride and money. Theres more, theres always more, I just dont feel like typing it. Right now i wish my dad didn't die of cancer even more because then maybe i could be over there and he could probably help me out a little. Im kinda looking for an extremely cheap apartment to live in because i really dont want to live in this house anymore. For years i have hated my mother and the only reason i have stayed is for the money. Now that i have a job she wants to stop giving me money in all. As if shes punishing me for trying to help save up money for college (which is gone now). As soon as my car gets fixed im going to drive somewhere and blow all the money i hid in my room and try and have fun with it because if i dont she will. Right now i dont really have much hope for the future which was my motivation for liveing. When the day comes when i just say "Fuck it" im gonna get a tatoo, Im gonna cut my hair, Im gonna get a vespa, im gonna get a pet, im gonna get a weird piercing,im gonna go to a concert, im gonna go to a club, im gonna go bungy jumping, im gonna become friends with a homeless person, im gonna hold a kowala bear, (this is getting out of control) im gonna go to japan, im gonna be a pirate, im gonna fight a samari and win, im gonna.. well you get the picture. Im gonna just do stuff without worrying about what more useful ways i could be spending my money and time.
Anyway, #1 My car is still broken so if i want or need to go anywhere i would have to take the bus which takes atleast an hour to get anywhere. Except for if i have to go to work because the bus doesnt go there. When i have to go to work i have to ride my bike, whos brakes hardly work, down the highway for 2.5 miles. And its not like work is worth all that trouble. I hate my co-workers, if i have to do fast food for the rest of my life i am going to kill myself, and i dont get paid very much. #2 After recieving my measly paycheck of 45 dollars after a week of hard labor, i went to the bank to deposit it into my savings account for college as i have always done with most any money i recieve. I decieded i wanted to check up on the balance of my account, because after the many summer programs and work hours i should have over two thousand dollars in it. Turns out my mother has been electronically takeing my money out of my account and it was now empty. At that point i could have walked across the freeway and not cared. My mother took all my money and there was nothing i could do about it. Even if i tryed talking to her she'd just hit me until i shut up like always and put me on punishment. (The next few aren't going to be as fucking, "shoot me in the face" bad as the first two but they still fucking suck and add on to the list of reasons i dont want to go on anymore.)#3 I cant see my boyfriend at all because niether of us have a ride and he lives a good 30 miles away from me. #4 Another summer program is starting and i can tell by the orientation that it is going to be a huge group of very talented, very stuck-up, prissy black kids and im going to be stuck with them all summer every day from 7:30 to 1:00 but 6:00 to 3:00 for me because i have to ride the fucking slow ass bus. #5 Im starting to realize that all the clubs that i participate in and hold an office in need organizing, which isn't that bad, but im going to have to deal with more fucking freshman and their spoiled little ignorant opinions. I dont think i ever wanted to join any of those clubs anyway. The only reason i did it is because im competing with my friend. I dont know why i do it but i have been doing it since elementary school. #6 My one friend, who lives near me and was going to serve as my chill spot or safe heaven as you will, is moving to Selma Alabama for the entire summer. So that means there is nowhere to go if things at home get deadly. #7 Things at home are actually nearing the deadly point. To avoid it, when ever my ma comes home i just go and hide in my room, where there is no TV or computer so i just end up stareing at the wall the entire time, until late at night when she's asleep. #8 There are two awsome concerts comeing to town that i will not be able to attend because of the lack of a ride and money. Theres more, theres always more, I just dont feel like typing it. Right now i wish my dad didn't die of cancer even more because then maybe i could be over there and he could probably help me out a little. Im kinda looking for an extremely cheap apartment to live in because i really dont want to live in this house anymore. For years i have hated my mother and the only reason i have stayed is for the money. Now that i have a job she wants to stop giving me money in all. As if shes punishing me for trying to help save up money for college (which is gone now). As soon as my car gets fixed im going to drive somewhere and blow all the money i hid in my room and try and have fun with it because if i dont she will. Right now i dont really have much hope for the future which was my motivation for liveing. When the day comes when i just say "Fuck it" im gonna get a tatoo, Im gonna cut my hair, Im gonna get a vespa, im gonna get a pet, im gonna get a weird piercing,im gonna go to a concert, im gonna go to a club, im gonna go bungy jumping, im gonna become friends with a homeless person, im gonna hold a kowala bear, (this is getting out of control) im gonna go to japan, im gonna be a pirate, im gonna fight a samari and win, im gonna.. well you get the picture. Im gonna just do stuff without worrying about what more useful ways i could be spending my money and time.