I learned a new word: Limerence

[game_byrd]

It has a Wikipedia article here. It's all about how people fall in love. I especially liked the part about the physical effects of it. I don't know what it means, but when I visualize and mentally write out/storytell some of the love scenes in the stories I write, I get a surge of that feeling. I've ... um ... figured out how to trigger it semi-

Comments

[black_sluggard]

I've always felt this was an area of experience in which my writing has been lacking, because for all that most of what I write has an element of "romance", I've never actually felt anything that could be considered romantic or sexual feelings for anybody myself. It's a set of emotions and sensations that I've only ever experienced second hand through film and writing, and so I always feel it comes out kind of stylized and a bit juvenile.

[game_byrd]

Love comes in a lot of different flavors. I only felt that 'madly in love' feeling once towards a person, twenty years ago to my first boyfriend, whom I broke up with. I kept expecting it to kick in with my husband, but it never did. I liked him a lot early on in the marriage, but I never had the tinglies for him. I was excited about doing things with him, but that's not the same thing. I assume I loved my husband, because otherwise why didn't I leave him when things got bad? I call that devotion and attachment "love", but I'm not sure that's the right word. I don't feel the tinglies for my kids or parents, but I'm positive I love them, so that tells me that yes, love happens without that limerence.

That's part of why I was delighted to find a word that differentiated the rush of new love (limerence) with the devotion of a cooler, less passionate love.

[means2bhuman]

I've read the physical attraction and attachment theory links so far (very interesting). But which did you classify Gabe as for the attachment theory, "anxious-preoccupied"? I didn't know which one(s) that was on the wiki-chart. Thanks for sharing, as usual!

[game_byrd]

Anxious-preoccupied: " securely attached adults tend to have positive views of themselves, their partners and their relationships. They feel comfortable with intimacy and independence, balancing the two. Anxious-preoccupied adults seek high levels of intimacy, approval and responsiveness from partners, becoming overly dependent. They tend to be less trusting, have less positive views about themselves and their partners, and may exhibit high levels of emotional expressiveness, worry and impulsiveness in their relationships

[cheetobuzz]

well,I had to get all my 'usual' pages up on my internet window because all that I had was erased and lost track of trying to get firefox properly updated.Good thing I have links that lead up what I want copied,pasted,and saved on a notepad program on my computer.Your page was one of the ones I had to 'get back to' and it's nice to see that you continue looking into and questioning things,leaving a trail of links and means for the rest of us to follow.
Interesting to get my mind up and working right before all the guys show up in an hour.Yes,today is a gaming day for me,and I always have to be up and going to welcome guys who have already called concerning,and have been planning out how to play the RPG we have going for about a week now.(have to keep on top of MY game as well with this!)

[game_byrd]

Hey there