teaching emotional understanding

[gallian]

I teach a daily social skills group to teenagers with severe communication challenges. I am autistic myself. I find this ironic at times. However, what I find most striking is the unwillingness of my students, on and off the spectrum, to identify negative emotions. I have come to believe it is the way that we teach this skill that is flawed, not

Comments

[khava]

This whole thing seems so weird to me because of my perspective as a mom of a preschooler. We are just through the intense toddler stage of learning to recognize and control your negative emotions, though of course this is an ongoing process. I'm not an expert in any of this, but I want to write a bit about my experience and the standard advice that is being given to parents these days and used in day care settings for toddlers aged around 15-36 months about acting out on emotions.

So basically, you have this toddler with limited verbal skills, pretty good mobility (walking, gross motor skills), and Big Strong Emotions. Most toddlers will respond to anger with something violent, like hitting or biting, and will respond to frustration with throwing or screaming or tantrums. A major goal at this age, before moving on to the "preschool" 3-5 age group, is helping the child learn how to respond to these negative emotions in a socially appropriate way.

The major advice being given these days, which works quite well with consistent repetition, is for the adult to verbalize the child's feelings until the child learns to verbalize them him/herself. So, for example, if the child is working on a puzzle and can't fit in a piece, he might get frustrated and throw the piece across the room. The adult would respond by saying, "You feel frustrated. You feel frustrated because the piece won't go into the puzzle. Would you like to take a break from the puzzle, or try again?" Specifically naming the emotion is the key part of the process, followed by offering suggestions of how to appropriately respond to the emotion.

Another example: "You are feeling angry because your friend took the firetruck. Can you ask him nicely to give it back, or would you like to find a different toy to play with?"

The kids get very good, very quickly, at saying "I'm angry" and "I'm frustrated." Learning to do that instead of the violent reaction takes a lot more time, but they get it eventually.

[gallian]

I'm aware I'm more or less reinventing the developmental model. However, for my students, not being able to grasp that model in the preschool years is frequently one of the things that gets them referred for services and identified as having a disability in the first place. They have needed different services and supports in order to be successful for a very long time. While I am not a fan of the developmental model at the expense of other models, I am aware that there are some developmental milestones that area crucial to developing independence. I believe this is one of them, and I believe my students are ready to master it. It's a different (and longer) means to the same end.

[khava]

If LJ had a "like" button, I would have clicked it here.

[wotyfree]

Also, adults misread the affect of autistic kids all the time and tell them they're feeling things they're not feeling - and then behavior programs prevent autistic kids from developing the skill of contradicting people effectively. Telling people with that background how they feel is likely to be *really* counterproductive.