(no subject)
so i think i know what has been bothering me lately...well 2 things...one is the fact that my job is almost over...graduation didn't hit me because i knew that i had a job, but now that i wont have a next next week its getting pretty scary...i have no idea how to look for a job since all the jobs i have had so far have kind of feel into my arms. it was either someone i knew who was like do you want thi sjob or someone who knew someone who was looking for someone to work for them....now i have to go out in the world and find a job completely by myself...kind of intimidating if you ask me :( i also have to find out what classes i want to take this up coming semester because well if i am not going to be doing anything improtant with my life i might as well go ahead and finish my bio degree since well i only need 4 classes and 2 labs which is about a semester....so i could take 2 classes and a lab next semester and be part time and i should have the money for when the time comes.
the other thing that getting to me is marcelo...and not neccessarily him but i think it is his job. i always felt that to a point i never had a father since he work nights and i always said i couldnt be with someone who worked nights. that i wanted to have someone who would be there for me and be able to accompany me and do the regular couple stuff....well that didnt work out since he works usually from 4-10 or 11...and oddly enough just about teh same time he started to work nights is when i started to pull away from him like try not to care or focus on the bad things he does. i dont want to end up like my mother hwo has a husband but everyone thinks she is single because they never see her with anyone....she does everything alone...not that doing things alone is a bad thing, but its nice to have someone to accompany you.
the other thing that getting to me is marcelo...and not neccessarily him but i think it is his job. i always felt that to a point i never had a father since he work nights and i always said i couldnt be with someone who worked nights. that i wanted to have someone who would be there for me and be able to accompany me and do the regular couple stuff....well that didnt work out since he works usually from 4-10 or 11...and oddly enough just about teh same time he started to work nights is when i started to pull away from him like try not to care or focus on the bad things he does. i dont want to end up like my mother hwo has a husband but everyone thinks she is single because they never see her with anyone....she does everything alone...not that doing things alone is a bad thing, but its nice to have someone to accompany you.