My creative genius
Alright Folks:
I wrote this on Ben McAlvey's computer because I was bored and wanted to leave him a good message. Enjoy.
My name is Ben McCalvey and I like to go to places and eat sausage. The sausage is
spicy and sometimes I go up stairs and fall over a slipper. When I fall down teh
stairs, there are sometimes blue items that stick to my back. That is when I pull out
the leaf blower. When that happens, people start a-runnin' and a-screamin'. I have a
crystal ball. In it i see peas. The peas are a small race of vegetable that live
inside the freezer. The freezer is a cold land, and there is little opportunity to
work. As such, the peas are a poor race. Occasionally fried chicken left over from
the night before gets all uppity in 'ere and makes the peas bust a cap. That is when
the peas do a little thing that I like to call sobersloshing. Sobersloshing is that
great time of year, when you get all crunk and then fall into that slushy stuff that
collects on teh side of de road until you become a little more sober. While it seems
like a good idear at teh time, not always do the bed bugs get dry. That's when you
bring home quite the little surprise for teh missus. The missus is a rare breed female
that enjoys yellin' and screamin' and naggin' and other things that unruly men rather
don't enjoy. Somehow however, the missus and the unruly men find each other
attractive. Unfortunately for this love story, the missus usually drives the unruly
man insane, or the unruly man purchases a number of power tools and proceeds to cut
down forests in their natural habitat. Over teh years, these trees had become very
gentleman-like and often held debates about the best usage of the water supply and the
replenishing of said water supply. That's the easy part. Its only when they start to
try and make things happen that things get a little strange. You see, trees do not
have the capability to move very well. So, they try and they try, and they moan and
they squirm, but eventuallys, all that ends up happening is the leaves fall to teh
grounds. This, you see, is not so productive for the tapeworms because they liek the
stomach lining. the leaves, do not like the stomach lining. Thay have wars. The
leaves employ teh services of unruly thrid world nationalities and teh stomach lining
has an arsenal of biological weapons. Some of the most effective happen to be the
anti-tum grenade which inflicts upon its recipient a bad case of herpes complex 7. The
herpes complex 7 is one of those diseases that the doctors don't liek to talk abouts so
muches. The reason is very simple. When you have the complex 7, your toes become
talkative. This may not seem like such a plight, except
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss when you
are trying to zleep they try to tell stories at teh same time. As such, you end up
with a enemy force who does not get the required number of hours of sleep! This does
not give a very war-like situation for them warpeoples.
The moral of this story is, read the whole thing and figure it out for yourself. There
are many, many subtle hints about life in life for life, but you have to find them for
yuzself. good luck, and remember - sobersloshing is not for teh faint of heart. Only
experienced veterans are able to properly execute teh procedure. Aman should be a very
good coach.
el fin.
I wrote this on Ben McAlvey's computer because I was bored and wanted to leave him a good message. Enjoy.
My name is Ben McCalvey and I like to go to places and eat sausage. The sausage is
spicy and sometimes I go up stairs and fall over a slipper. When I fall down teh
stairs, there are sometimes blue items that stick to my back. That is when I pull out
the leaf blower. When that happens, people start a-runnin' and a-screamin'. I have a
crystal ball. In it i see peas. The peas are a small race of vegetable that live
inside the freezer. The freezer is a cold land, and there is little opportunity to
work. As such, the peas are a poor race. Occasionally fried chicken left over from
the night before gets all uppity in 'ere and makes the peas bust a cap. That is when
the peas do a little thing that I like to call sobersloshing. Sobersloshing is that
great time of year, when you get all crunk and then fall into that slushy stuff that
collects on teh side of de road until you become a little more sober. While it seems
like a good idear at teh time, not always do the bed bugs get dry. That's when you
bring home quite the little surprise for teh missus. The missus is a rare breed female
that enjoys yellin' and screamin' and naggin' and other things that unruly men rather
don't enjoy. Somehow however, the missus and the unruly men find each other
attractive. Unfortunately for this love story, the missus usually drives the unruly
man insane, or the unruly man purchases a number of power tools and proceeds to cut
down forests in their natural habitat. Over teh years, these trees had become very
gentleman-like and often held debates about the best usage of the water supply and the
replenishing of said water supply. That's the easy part. Its only when they start to
try and make things happen that things get a little strange. You see, trees do not
have the capability to move very well. So, they try and they try, and they moan and
they squirm, but eventuallys, all that ends up happening is the leaves fall to teh
grounds. This, you see, is not so productive for the tapeworms because they liek the
stomach lining. the leaves, do not like the stomach lining. Thay have wars. The
leaves employ teh services of unruly thrid world nationalities and teh stomach lining
has an arsenal of biological weapons. Some of the most effective happen to be the
anti-tum grenade which inflicts upon its recipient a bad case of herpes complex 7. The
herpes complex 7 is one of those diseases that the doctors don't liek to talk abouts so
muches. The reason is very simple. When you have the complex 7, your toes become
talkative. This may not seem like such a plight, except
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss when you
are trying to zleep they try to tell stories at teh same time. As such, you end up
with a enemy force who does not get the required number of hours of sleep! This does
not give a very war-like situation for them warpeoples.
The moral of this story is, read the whole thing and figure it out for yourself. There
are many, many subtle hints about life in life for life, but you have to find them for
yuzself. good luck, and remember - sobersloshing is not for teh faint of heart. Only
experienced veterans are able to properly execute teh procedure. Aman should be a very
good coach.
el fin.