ice
yesterday, the lake iced over.
the trees were covered with ice, 'talking' as the frozen limbs brushed against themselves...
i took a nice walk, listened to warren zevon's 'life'll kill ya' and cried.
alan had been having seizures everytime we rolled him to change the sheets...
yesterday, his mom and my parents were all here, he had the longest one yet, lasted about four minutes...
i called hospice nurse and she called dr. they increased the valium to 6x/day (doubled it).
i set the alarm clock to make certain he gets the v. on schedule.
it seems to have helped.
he didn't seize today, as mom and i changed his bedding.
i don't know if it is the medication or the disease progressing, but he has been sleeping most of the day.
he was awake for about 20 minutes today; although, he will always 'speak' to jake when jake says 'hi dad, how are you doing?' and he turns to look at mara when she greets him.
i would rather have him sleeping than seizing...it is so hard to watch him have a seizure.
the nurse comes tomorrow as well as the aid for his bath.
i don't know what is really happening.
mara is so anxious--she can barely stay at school all day. in fact, she came home early yesterday and today mom picked her up after her lunch.
jake seems to be holding in there. his girlfriend was supposed to come over today, but she didn't...i hope all is well there, i would hate for him to have his heart hurting even more than it already is.
i wish i could write something moving, something poetic, something readable.
all i seem to be able to do is track alan's health.
hopefully, this journal helps me when i look back at it, trying to remember the most painful time in my life.....
goodness bless.
us.
all.
the trees were covered with ice, 'talking' as the frozen limbs brushed against themselves...
i took a nice walk, listened to warren zevon's 'life'll kill ya' and cried.
alan had been having seizures everytime we rolled him to change the sheets...
yesterday, his mom and my parents were all here, he had the longest one yet, lasted about four minutes...
i called hospice nurse and she called dr. they increased the valium to 6x/day (doubled it).
i set the alarm clock to make certain he gets the v. on schedule.
it seems to have helped.
he didn't seize today, as mom and i changed his bedding.
i don't know if it is the medication or the disease progressing, but he has been sleeping most of the day.
he was awake for about 20 minutes today; although, he will always 'speak' to jake when jake says 'hi dad, how are you doing?' and he turns to look at mara when she greets him.
i would rather have him sleeping than seizing...it is so hard to watch him have a seizure.
the nurse comes tomorrow as well as the aid for his bath.
i don't know what is really happening.
mara is so anxious--she can barely stay at school all day. in fact, she came home early yesterday and today mom picked her up after her lunch.
jake seems to be holding in there. his girlfriend was supposed to come over today, but she didn't...i hope all is well there, i would hate for him to have his heart hurting even more than it already is.
i wish i could write something moving, something poetic, something readable.
all i seem to be able to do is track alan's health.
hopefully, this journal helps me when i look back at it, trying to remember the most painful time in my life.....
goodness bless.
us.
all.