ache
my shoulders ache from typing--yes, on the paper that would not end--all night again.
i emailed my prof. and explained the current situation, alan's failing health and my inability to concentrate on anything at all.
luckily, though, i have but 2-4 paragraphs to finish and the work will be done.
then, i have a nice samuel smith nut brown ale to reward myself with...that is, if i can keep my eyes open to drink it!
alan seems to be having trouble swallowing.
i also have to remind him how to use a straw every so often.
he did get up today, twice. once for breakfast and then again for dinner.
he hadnt been out of bed in two days before that.
his right side is very very weak. it even extends to facial weakness on that side.
his right hand was swollen, almost like his feet.
i am nervous because everyday it seems as though something new, something more, happens--or doesn't happen as the case may be...
he seems to have even less attention span than yesterday. sometimes he simply wont answer me. i dont know if he doesnt hear me, doesnt understand me, or is too tired to talk.
mara tried to tell him a bit about her day. i reminded him to face her, to look at her, and he did for a couple of minutes...then he drifted off, not to sleep, but just away...
his breathing sounds a bit labored right now.
i gave him a breathing treatment today.
guess i will do two of them tomorrow.
mom took me to run errands while joy sat w/ alan this afternoon.
good thing, too , because i was too tired to drive myself.
i went to the bank. i went to the post office. i went to the sporting store for a gift for jake.
i went to fremont, to the dr., and picked up a prescription for hospice...
then i went nauseous, had to roll the car window down, even in the 20 degree weather.
i thought i had to return home promptly, but i made it to the greenhouse nursery and felt some relief after visiting the plants.
sometimes, the only place to go is to the nursery. all that oxygen. all that vibrancy. all that growth and life and health.
i picked up a 'mother-in-law's-tongue' (can't remember the latin right now) and a lovely ceramic red bird, on a small stake, to plant in the pot as well. i got two of each, actually, and gave the other to mom.
those little red birds are calming. cool to the touch and gentle.
i am off now to finish the paper that would not end.
then to bed for a bit before the kids need up for school.
alan, samara, my brother and me on my bday late october...alan and bob are the two smartest men i know...both year of the dog, born only 5 months apart...and i love them so...bob helped me christmas shop, i couldn't have done it without him. it was a lovely time. i appreciate my brother more than i can describe...it is kind of like when phil died--bob is losing another brother...much love, my special brother, much love, my angel-come-to-live-with-me daughter, much love, my knight in tyedye armor, much love from me, who needs you all so much...
i emailed my prof. and explained the current situation, alan's failing health and my inability to concentrate on anything at all.
luckily, though, i have but 2-4 paragraphs to finish and the work will be done.
then, i have a nice samuel smith nut brown ale to reward myself with...that is, if i can keep my eyes open to drink it!
alan seems to be having trouble swallowing.
i also have to remind him how to use a straw every so often.
he did get up today, twice. once for breakfast and then again for dinner.
he hadnt been out of bed in two days before that.
his right side is very very weak. it even extends to facial weakness on that side.
his right hand was swollen, almost like his feet.
i am nervous because everyday it seems as though something new, something more, happens--or doesn't happen as the case may be...
he seems to have even less attention span than yesterday. sometimes he simply wont answer me. i dont know if he doesnt hear me, doesnt understand me, or is too tired to talk.
mara tried to tell him a bit about her day. i reminded him to face her, to look at her, and he did for a couple of minutes...then he drifted off, not to sleep, but just away...
his breathing sounds a bit labored right now.
i gave him a breathing treatment today.
guess i will do two of them tomorrow.
mom took me to run errands while joy sat w/ alan this afternoon.
good thing, too , because i was too tired to drive myself.
i went to the bank. i went to the post office. i went to the sporting store for a gift for jake.
i went to fremont, to the dr., and picked up a prescription for hospice...
then i went nauseous, had to roll the car window down, even in the 20 degree weather.
i thought i had to return home promptly, but i made it to the greenhouse nursery and felt some relief after visiting the plants.
sometimes, the only place to go is to the nursery. all that oxygen. all that vibrancy. all that growth and life and health.
i picked up a 'mother-in-law's-tongue' (can't remember the latin right now) and a lovely ceramic red bird, on a small stake, to plant in the pot as well. i got two of each, actually, and gave the other to mom.
those little red birds are calming. cool to the touch and gentle.
i am off now to finish the paper that would not end.
then to bed for a bit before the kids need up for school.
alan, samara, my brother and me on my bday late october...alan and bob are the two smartest men i know...both year of the dog, born only 5 months apart...and i love them so...bob helped me christmas shop, i couldn't have done it without him. it was a lovely time. i appreciate my brother more than i can describe...it is kind of like when phil died--bob is losing another brother...much love, my special brother, much love, my angel-come-to-live-with-me daughter, much love, my knight in tyedye armor, much love from me, who needs you all so much...