and the world fell off its axis and squished the bug
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
hmm...i dunno why, but i'm feeling morose again. the past couple days i've been quite cheerful. i've reached 25lbs worth of weight loss in the past 4 months. i've been making an insanely beautiful effort to exersize and drink lots of water. which seemed to be having a nice effect on my mood.
now...today...i just feel pooey. i was cleaning last night and realized i had forgotten to open a letter i had recieved last week. it was from my student loan company and apparently my deferment request was denied.
i also feel annoyingly lonely. i really need a boy hug. no offense to female friends, but male friends have a special ability to make things feel safe and ok with hugs. i also like the smell of boy...not stinky boy tho...like a boy who wear axe and olde spice.
*sigh* yeah...lonely is definatly the best description of my mood. needing a hug is definatly the best cure, and not gunna happen is the most likely result. oh well...i'll get over it. sorry...yeah i'm being a depressing girl, but it has to happen sometimes. if it didn't happen when it did it would build up and when it finally happened it would happen in a worse way. chitlins
i really don't like the fact that i feel like crying....cause i don't know why i feel like crying. i just feel sad. i just feel...i dunno...isolated, gloomy, and pessimistic. none of which are good ways to feel. i need a cuddle session preferably with a boy of punk rock, nerd, or combination of the two origin, and with a predisposition for eskimo kissing. eskimo kissing gives me the warm fuzzies.
putting that silly boyfriend application bulliten up kind of made me sad...cause james c. was the only one that filled it out. talk about feeling really pathetic. i am definatly rambling on...and it is all definatly very gloomy ramblings...but its thoughts that need to come out of my head so that they're not in there anymore cause its not a good place for them.
i need a large turquoise box to live in with a little slot for someone to put food in this way i can't be sad that i'm alone cause i won't have a choice cause i'll be trapped in a box so i'll learn to deal with it and having the box be turquoise should have a bit of a calming affect on me and i really like turqoiuse too so it seems like a good idea for it to be turquoise and i will need a cd player in there with all the cds i may ever want to listen to, thats why i said it should be a large box. i will also need a soft plush big comfy couch. preferably a forest green one. oh i want the cd player to be pink as well as the cd holder. i will also need some fluffy pillows and some soft blankies and a hat. the hat must be black with a very large rim like the ones those ladies wore in that decade when they did that stuff.
who is going to take the commision of building my box. you will be paid well...well actually yr payment is not having to deal with me no more before i increase from slight pain in the hiney (if i'm not already past that) to extreme pain in the ass of a bruising nature.
the toilet in the box needs to be black cause black toilets look cool.
alrite...i need to go get my check and do some stuff. if you actually read this whole thing ...well...you're a cool person probably...unless you just read it so you could make fun of me. then you're a deuch bag.
the end.
hmm...i dunno why, but i'm feeling morose again. the past couple days i've been quite cheerful. i've reached 25lbs worth of weight loss in the past 4 months. i've been making an insanely beautiful effort to exersize and drink lots of water. which seemed to be having a nice effect on my mood.
now...today...i just feel pooey. i was cleaning last night and realized i had forgotten to open a letter i had recieved last week. it was from my student loan company and apparently my deferment request was denied.
i also feel annoyingly lonely. i really need a boy hug. no offense to female friends, but male friends have a special ability to make things feel safe and ok with hugs. i also like the smell of boy...not stinky boy tho...like a boy who wear axe and olde spice.
*sigh* yeah...lonely is definatly the best description of my mood. needing a hug is definatly the best cure, and not gunna happen is the most likely result. oh well...i'll get over it. sorry...yeah i'm being a depressing girl, but it has to happen sometimes. if it didn't happen when it did it would build up and when it finally happened it would happen in a worse way. chitlins
i really don't like the fact that i feel like crying....cause i don't know why i feel like crying. i just feel sad. i just feel...i dunno...isolated, gloomy, and pessimistic. none of which are good ways to feel. i need a cuddle session preferably with a boy of punk rock, nerd, or combination of the two origin, and with a predisposition for eskimo kissing. eskimo kissing gives me the warm fuzzies.
putting that silly boyfriend application bulliten up kind of made me sad...cause james c. was the only one that filled it out. talk about feeling really pathetic. i am definatly rambling on...and it is all definatly very gloomy ramblings...but its thoughts that need to come out of my head so that they're not in there anymore cause its not a good place for them.
i need a large turquoise box to live in with a little slot for someone to put food in this way i can't be sad that i'm alone cause i won't have a choice cause i'll be trapped in a box so i'll learn to deal with it and having the box be turquoise should have a bit of a calming affect on me and i really like turqoiuse too so it seems like a good idea for it to be turquoise and i will need a cd player in there with all the cds i may ever want to listen to, thats why i said it should be a large box. i will also need a soft plush big comfy couch. preferably a forest green one. oh i want the cd player to be pink as well as the cd holder. i will also need some fluffy pillows and some soft blankies and a hat. the hat must be black with a very large rim like the ones those ladies wore in that decade when they did that stuff.
who is going to take the commision of building my box. you will be paid well...well actually yr payment is not having to deal with me no more before i increase from slight pain in the hiney (if i'm not already past that) to extreme pain in the ass of a bruising nature.
the toilet in the box needs to be black cause black toilets look cool.
alrite...i need to go get my check and do some stuff. if you actually read this whole thing ...well...you're a cool person probably...unless you just read it so you could make fun of me. then you're a deuch bag.
the end.