(no subject)
To those with sensitive hearing...plug your ears now. ***SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS*** okay you can unplug them now...thank you.
So i'm thinking about holding interviews for a person who wants to work for free and be my personal assistant...of course I would pay you in sexual favors which is all I could afford right now, or perhaps cuddling time or the like, but mainly I am in desperate need of an assistant to help sort out my unorganized-jam-packed life...unfortunately there isn't any jam involved (raspberry would be nice...or peach marmalade). Currently I am juggling 31 hours of work a week plus 5 classes most of which i don't even have time to go to plus a full time social life including the 4 people i'm seeing right now and my friends whom i barely get to see ever. The biggest hassel right now is school. Everything is fine and dandy until a test comes up. I have a midterm on thursday that i forgot about until tuesday...its wednesday. I asked my prof for an extension, but havent' heard back from him yet...*crosses fingers*, i'm completely unprepared for this test. I missed 5 classes of it last month and tuesday i missed the review all because i've been really sick lately, which really sucks.
I had a fever of 102 on Monday and so i decided i had to go to the doctor on tuesday, but it overlaped with my class and so I missed classes a second day...grr.
All in all, I think my life would be much easier if I got rid of either work or school...school is looking more and more promising to give up. I'm not learning anything at this school whatsoever! Nothing I am being taught will ever really help me in the long run to becoming CSI or International Criminal Investigations. At least nothing that can be applied in the field. Sure what classes im' taking are interesting, but all school does is teach you how to write quickly, memorize random crap and regurgitate it all on a test. Nothing is absorbed. I want so badly to give up and just work and make money and exist. I don't want to give up attaining a degree, but its not one that I want to use in my life
I miss love. I thought I was all out of love; as if my reservoir was empty. Now it's as if it's overflowing again...I want so badly to feel that connection again. I know I won't find it in some of the people i'm seeing, but i try to keep hope that it is out there somewhere. I've never really been good at just focusing on Alice for a long period of time. In a way, I am doing that while dating other people. Because in dating them I am learning new things about myself that I like and dislike and things about dating I like and dislike. I dislike wanting to date someone and not being able to.
I'm sick of chasing after love. I was always the girl who chased the boys on the playground all through elementary (surprise surprise...) and all through high school, I was the one who pursued others. It's hard to explain. All I can say is that the people who I actually want to pursue me, I try my hardest not to pursue them or let them know I want them to pursue me... So far, i missed my chance with one (you know who you are...i think)and ruined my chance with another (you don't read this but you know who you are).
I want someone to give me butterflies again....
So i'm thinking about holding interviews for a person who wants to work for free and be my personal assistant...of course I would pay you in sexual favors which is all I could afford right now, or perhaps cuddling time or the like, but mainly I am in desperate need of an assistant to help sort out my unorganized-jam-packed life...unfortunately there isn't any jam involved (raspberry would be nice...or peach marmalade). Currently I am juggling 31 hours of work a week plus 5 classes most of which i don't even have time to go to plus a full time social life including the 4 people i'm seeing right now and my friends whom i barely get to see ever. The biggest hassel right now is school. Everything is fine and dandy until a test comes up. I have a midterm on thursday that i forgot about until tuesday...its wednesday. I asked my prof for an extension, but havent' heard back from him yet...*crosses fingers*, i'm completely unprepared for this test. I missed 5 classes of it last month and tuesday i missed the review all because i've been really sick lately, which really sucks.
I had a fever of 102 on Monday and so i decided i had to go to the doctor on tuesday, but it overlaped with my class and so I missed classes a second day...grr.
All in all, I think my life would be much easier if I got rid of either work or school...school is looking more and more promising to give up. I'm not learning anything at this school whatsoever! Nothing I am being taught will ever really help me in the long run to becoming CSI or International Criminal Investigations. At least nothing that can be applied in the field. Sure what classes im' taking are interesting, but all school does is teach you how to write quickly, memorize random crap and regurgitate it all on a test. Nothing is absorbed. I want so badly to give up and just work and make money and exist. I don't want to give up attaining a degree, but its not one that I want to use in my life
I miss love. I thought I was all out of love; as if my reservoir was empty. Now it's as if it's overflowing again...I want so badly to feel that connection again. I know I won't find it in some of the people i'm seeing, but i try to keep hope that it is out there somewhere. I've never really been good at just focusing on Alice for a long period of time. In a way, I am doing that while dating other people. Because in dating them I am learning new things about myself that I like and dislike and things about dating I like and dislike. I dislike wanting to date someone and not being able to.
I'm sick of chasing after love. I was always the girl who chased the boys on the playground all through elementary (surprise surprise...) and all through high school, I was the one who pursued others. It's hard to explain. All I can say is that the people who I actually want to pursue me, I try my hardest not to pursue them or let them know I want them to pursue me... So far, i missed my chance with one (you know who you are...i think)and ruined my chance with another (you don't read this but you know who you are).
I want someone to give me butterflies again....