Jane's Reasons Why
I think I'm gonna like Hawaii. And I will tell you why.
There is no better way to get a sense of the type of people that live somewhere than to troll around Craigslist for that area. For those of you FREAKS WHO LIVE IN CAVES that don't know what www.craigslist.org is, its a database for everything you could ever want/need in a city. Anyway, different parts of the page can tell you different things about a locale. Look at New York's "Rants and Raves"; that gives you a perfect depiction of New Yorkers.
I have decided to hand-pick some real gems for you from www.honolulu.craigslist.org to show you what goes on when people are left on a remote island. I followed up with my own comments, since I always have something to say.
Activity Partners
--->Free Hula Hoop Group
I am putting together a hoop group here in Honolulu. All levels welcomed. I have several hoops for people to use and will have some for sale in the future. Come out, meet new people, and get great workout.
Sunday 2/19
4-7PM
Ala Moana Park
(We will be at the end of the park closest to the airport. Enter on Kamakee Dr. across from Nordstrom's shoes and look for parking near the bathrooms and snack bar. We will be somewhere on the sand or the grass before the 1st lifeguard tower.) "the family that HOOPS together stays together"
My Comments: where do I begin. First of all,. WOW THANKS FOR MAKING THE HULA HOOP GROUP FREE!!!!! And here my whole life I was trying to find a hula hoop group where I don;t have to pay those beastly fees. And thank GOD you will have some hoops for sale later, cause what if mine breaks?????? Come out and meet new people? Can you even begin to imagine the kind of people you would meet in a hula hooping group? What would you do if you asked your friend to go see a movie and they responded "Sorry, I cant do it friday, thats when my hula hoop group meets?" Punch them in the throat, maybe? Then the best part is the person gives you these directions on where to find the group. Here's what they SHOULD have written: "Just look for the bunch of assholes in the park trying to hula hoop. That's us."
Lost & Found
---> 3 teeth found
Found 3 teeth. What looks like two molers adn one eye-tooth. The are very white, and out of the two molers, only one as a filling-which is about to come undone. Found outside Ross Dress For Less and Long's Drugs.
My comments: not that anything I could say could possibly make this more ridiculous. Except imagining 2 people getting in a brawl outside Ross Dress For Less.
Groups
--->Concerned Parents of Kailua Intermediate School
I am a parent of a child that attends Kailua Intermediate. I am becoming increasingly concerned about my childs saftey in this school. The drug problems and the behavioral problems of the students is out of control.
Not to mention my childs education is suffering due to the disruptive students in the class.
If there is anyone out there that has similar concerns plese contact me.
I want to make a difference.
My Comments: I applied to teach in this school. Fuck.
Groups
-->Marijuana Anonymous Meetings
Join others former potheads who have put down the bong and commenced on a new, wonderful way of life.
Tea, Hot Cocoa and other munchies are provided.
We don't have any dues or fee and we're not affiliated with any religous groups, political causes, etc. We're just a bunch stoners who are trying to stay off the weed.
A suggested requirement to attend is a desire to stop smoking buds but if you just want to come to check it out and see what we're all about, we'd love to have you!
My comments: This sounds like a bunch of stoners who are actually looking for people to smoke with. That entire post is totally code, and that theory is coming from someone who smokes almost everyday. You think a bunch of people who have provided munchies are going to sit around and talk about not smoking, holding their bongs that they 'no longer use'? GIve me a fucking break. There is no 'new wonderful life' once you've put down the bong, everybody knows that. It is downhill from there. Just roll one out already. P.S. I'm there. Also, I wonder if someone shows up to meeting and is all like "heeeeey man don;t I know you from the hula hoop group dude?"
Rants & Raves
--->Camel Toe Picture Contest
I got one!
My Comments: the people of Honolulu are sitting at work, google imaging "camel toe" and posting the best ones on a discussion forum.
I'm sorry, did I just die and go to heaven?
There is no better way to get a sense of the type of people that live somewhere than to troll around Craigslist for that area. For those of you FREAKS WHO LIVE IN CAVES that don't know what www.craigslist.org is, its a database for everything you could ever want/need in a city. Anyway, different parts of the page can tell you different things about a locale. Look at New York's "Rants and Raves"; that gives you a perfect depiction of New Yorkers.
I have decided to hand-pick some real gems for you from www.honolulu.craigslist.org to show you what goes on when people are left on a remote island. I followed up with my own comments, since I always have something to say.
Activity Partners
--->Free Hula Hoop Group
I am putting together a hoop group here in Honolulu. All levels welcomed. I have several hoops for people to use and will have some for sale in the future. Come out, meet new people, and get great workout.
Sunday 2/19
4-7PM
Ala Moana Park
(We will be at the end of the park closest to the airport. Enter on Kamakee Dr. across from Nordstrom's shoes and look for parking near the bathrooms and snack bar. We will be somewhere on the sand or the grass before the 1st lifeguard tower.) "the family that HOOPS together stays together"
My Comments: where do I begin. First of all,. WOW THANKS FOR MAKING THE HULA HOOP GROUP FREE!!!!! And here my whole life I was trying to find a hula hoop group where I don;t have to pay those beastly fees. And thank GOD you will have some hoops for sale later, cause what if mine breaks?????? Come out and meet new people? Can you even begin to imagine the kind of people you would meet in a hula hooping group? What would you do if you asked your friend to go see a movie and they responded "Sorry, I cant do it friday, thats when my hula hoop group meets?" Punch them in the throat, maybe? Then the best part is the person gives you these directions on where to find the group. Here's what they SHOULD have written: "Just look for the bunch of assholes in the park trying to hula hoop. That's us."
Lost & Found
---> 3 teeth found
Found 3 teeth. What looks like two molers adn one eye-tooth. The are very white, and out of the two molers, only one as a filling-which is about to come undone. Found outside Ross Dress For Less and Long's Drugs.
My comments: not that anything I could say could possibly make this more ridiculous. Except imagining 2 people getting in a brawl outside Ross Dress For Less.
Groups
--->Concerned Parents of Kailua Intermediate School
I am a parent of a child that attends Kailua Intermediate. I am becoming increasingly concerned about my childs saftey in this school. The drug problems and the behavioral problems of the students is out of control.
Not to mention my childs education is suffering due to the disruptive students in the class.
If there is anyone out there that has similar concerns plese contact me.
I want to make a difference.
My Comments: I applied to teach in this school. Fuck.
Groups
-->Marijuana Anonymous Meetings
Join others former potheads who have put down the bong and commenced on a new, wonderful way of life.
Tea, Hot Cocoa and other munchies are provided.
We don't have any dues or fee and we're not affiliated with any religous groups, political causes, etc. We're just a bunch stoners who are trying to stay off the weed.
A suggested requirement to attend is a desire to stop smoking buds but if you just want to come to check it out and see what we're all about, we'd love to have you!
My comments: This sounds like a bunch of stoners who are actually looking for people to smoke with. That entire post is totally code, and that theory is coming from someone who smokes almost everyday. You think a bunch of people who have provided munchies are going to sit around and talk about not smoking, holding their bongs that they 'no longer use'? GIve me a fucking break. There is no 'new wonderful life' once you've put down the bong, everybody knows that. It is downhill from there. Just roll one out already. P.S. I'm there. Also, I wonder if someone shows up to meeting and is all like "heeeeey man don;t I know you from the hula hoop group dude?"
Rants & Raves
--->Camel Toe Picture Contest
I got one!
My Comments: the people of Honolulu are sitting at work, google imaging "camel toe" and posting the best ones on a discussion forum.
I'm sorry, did I just die and go to heaven?