Captain's Log: Stardate - 2002523 Mark 2110
Well...
Just as I predicted. Just as I thought was going to happen. It happened. Back to normal. Momentary abberation in the space-time continuum. Wife has returned to normal self.
sigh...
I don't care anymore...In my heart, I'm gone already. Packed up all my books and sporting goods and computer equipment and left town. As soon as school's over and I have a few certs under my belt, I'm going to begin looking elsewhere for work. My friend Wolf wants me to come down to Austin, TX...he's already offered to let me crash in his spare room (for a modest rent, by NYC standards) until I could find a gig and get on my feet there. I have family in Dallas with IT connections, I have friends and Guildmates in the SF Bay area...there are alot of places I'd like to go, most of them with at least someone I know already there, so I wouldn't be totally lost.
Totally alone.
I still love my wife, I live for my kids...but I just can't take the abuse and heartache every day anymore. I've been so bound up in denial for the last few years that I've let opportunities for happiness slip through my grasp, because I denied myself my own happiness for the sake of keeping the status-quo, and not wanting to say anything that might hurt anyone...
But I guess I just ended up hurting myself, huh.
I really need a vacation. Spend a week travelling by myself, seeing the people who mean the most to me. Being unplugged from the absurd bullshit that I put up with at work every day... Being away from the constant reminders of how many setbacks and pitfalls I've endured in my career, and my life.
Maybe the summer will hold better things for me...
Sorry to rant on like this guys...I just wanted to get this all off my chest.
On the plus side...There's slightly less of me than there was yesterday :) , so at least that's a bonus for me. And if I keep up this pace, by August, I'll be buff again :) I'll throw a picture of what I USED to look like up here tomorrow...it's the picture I use to keep me going, the image of what I once was, and what I will become again. Like the Phoenix, reborn from the ashes, I will rise again.
I will be happy once more...even if it Kills me :P
Someone once told me, "May you live in interesting times." John Lennon once penned, "Somebody told me there'd be days like these, Strange days indeed..." Maybe something interesting will happen this summer...
Until the next...
Enth.
Just as I predicted. Just as I thought was going to happen. It happened. Back to normal. Momentary abberation in the space-time continuum. Wife has returned to normal self.
sigh...
I don't care anymore...In my heart, I'm gone already. Packed up all my books and sporting goods and computer equipment and left town. As soon as school's over and I have a few certs under my belt, I'm going to begin looking elsewhere for work. My friend Wolf wants me to come down to Austin, TX...he's already offered to let me crash in his spare room (for a modest rent, by NYC standards) until I could find a gig and get on my feet there. I have family in Dallas with IT connections, I have friends and Guildmates in the SF Bay area...there are alot of places I'd like to go, most of them with at least someone I know already there, so I wouldn't be totally lost.
Totally alone.
I still love my wife, I live for my kids...but I just can't take the abuse and heartache every day anymore. I've been so bound up in denial for the last few years that I've let opportunities for happiness slip through my grasp, because I denied myself my own happiness for the sake of keeping the status-quo, and not wanting to say anything that might hurt anyone...
But I guess I just ended up hurting myself, huh.
I really need a vacation. Spend a week travelling by myself, seeing the people who mean the most to me. Being unplugged from the absurd bullshit that I put up with at work every day... Being away from the constant reminders of how many setbacks and pitfalls I've endured in my career, and my life.
Maybe the summer will hold better things for me...
Sorry to rant on like this guys...I just wanted to get this all off my chest.
On the plus side...There's slightly less of me than there was yesterday :) , so at least that's a bonus for me. And if I keep up this pace, by August, I'll be buff again :) I'll throw a picture of what I USED to look like up here tomorrow...it's the picture I use to keep me going, the image of what I once was, and what I will become again. Like the Phoenix, reborn from the ashes, I will rise again.
I will be happy once more...even if it Kills me :P
Someone once told me, "May you live in interesting times." John Lennon once penned, "Somebody told me there'd be days like these, Strange days indeed..." Maybe something interesting will happen this summer...
Until the next...
Enth.