"The End of 'The Evil Stream'" 4
I have more of this -- yes "The Evil Stream"
doesn't end all that quickly or simply. No,
nothing ever ends quickly or simply.
But this might be enough angst for most of
you. If it is -- I understand. Perfectly.
By Gaedhal
New York and Pittsburgh
Justin was sick of temping and sick of waiting on tables, so
he quit both jobs. With Ford's encouragement he applied for a
number of entry-level positions as an assistant art director
at some magazines and ad agencies. But he didn't get any of the
jobs because he didn't have his degree. He'd never finished his
course of study at PIFA and everywhere he went he found himself
competing with people who had graduated from many prestigious
art schools at the top of their classes. Justin tried to tell the
interviewers about 'Rage' and about his review in 'Art Forum.'
They listened politely -- and then closed his resume and handed
it back to him.
Ford offered to lend him money to go back to school and finish
his degree, but Justin shrank from that option. That's all he
needed -- another man to whom he owed money for his education.
He hadn't even begun to pay Brian back for everything he'd done.
It was a fucking vicious cycle and Justin had to figure out a
way to break out of it.
He got a job at another restaurant and tried to save some money
for future tuition.
Before Justin even knew it, he'd been away from Pittsburgh
for over a year.
That gave him an ache in his heart. He had to go back, at least
for a visit. To see his mother and sister. To see Deb and the
gang.
To see....
Justin wasn't proud when Ford paid for his ticket on a Liberty
Air flight to Pittsburgh that rainy day in April 2006. No, he
wasn't proud at all, but he let Ford pay anyway.
And he breathed a sigh of relief when he got on the plane and it
took off, leaving New York behind.
Maybe he wouldn't need to return. Maybe Brian would see him,
hold him tightly, and kiss him. That's when Justin would tell
him it had all been a huge fucking mistake. He was ready to
come back. He was ready to put all of his life into that empty
drawer -- for good this time.
Jennifer Taylor met Justin at the airport. She looked tired.
Older. Her romance with her boy toy, Tucker, had ended months
before and Justin had been glad. But now he saw how sad his
mother looked. And he remembered how happy she had been a
year ago. He flashed back on the two of them dancing around the
loft when he told her that he and Brian were getting married.
They had both been so happy at that moment. But it didn't last.
Nothing seemed to last.
Jennifer chatted on about her real estate clients and about Molly
and some of their old family friends, but she never mentioned
the one person Justin most wanted to hear about. Maybe she
didn't know anything. Maybe she and Debbie didn't speak
anymore so that Jennifer could hear all the news about...
everyone. With Justin out of town there was little reason for
them to speak.
That night after dinner Justin sat and stared at the television
while his mother read the paper. Then he looked over at her
and noticed that she was watching him, her face pensive.
"What, Mom?" he asked. "What is it?"
"Justin," she began. "There's... something I need to tell you."
Justin felt a cold snake crawling through his gut. "Tell me
what?" he said anxiously.
Jennifer Taylor paused, her eyes troubled. Then she took a
deep breath and looked away. "That... that I'm so glad to have
you home, honey, even if only for a few days."
"Oh," said Justin. He knew there was more she wanted to say,
but he didn't question her. He wasn't ready to question anyone
at this point.
The next day Jennifer went into the office to meet a client about
a house. She took her company car, a Lexus. The minute his
mother was gone, Justin borrowed her SUV and drove straight
to the loft. He had known that was the first place he'd go once he
was back in the Pitts. He didn't bother to call first. It was a
Saturday and he knew that Brian would be home. Or Justin hoped
that he would be. He wanted his return to be a happy surprise.
Justin still had his key. And he still knew the codes. But when
he tried them, none of them worked. He tried again. Then he got
out his phone and called Brian's cell. It was turned off. And
the loft phone was disconnected.
That's when Justin began to panic.
He drove directly to Red Cape Comics. It was open and Michael
was sitting behind the counter in his usual spot. A big cardboard
stand-up of Rage was next to the counter, his fists balled up,
ready to take his revenge. Michael blinked with surprise when
he saw Justin walk in.
"Where's Brian?" Justin demanded before Michael even had a
chance to say hello. "I went to the loft, but there's no one there!
I tried calling his cell AND the loft phone -- but I got nothing!
Where is he? Tell me!"
Michael quietly closed the comic book he was reading and gazed
at Justin, gathering his thoughts.
"Brian's not here," he said finally. "He sold the loft. He's
not living there anymore."
"Brian sold the loft?" Justin breathed.
"I thought you knew," Michael replied. "After all, your mom
handled the sale."
"My mother?" Justin repeated. And he thought of what she had
been trying to tell him the night before. Trying -- and
failing to tell him.
"Yes," said Michael. "And he's selling the big house, too."
"Bri-Tin?" Justin said in amazement. "You mean he kept
Bri-Tin? But... but why?"
Michael looked away, trying not to get angry. "Maybe he thought
he was going to live there with somebody... someday." Then he
looked back at Justin. "But it was pretty obvious that person
was never going to come back. Brian waited and waited, Justin.
But you never came back. And now it's too late."
"What do you mean?" Justin cried, his voice rising to a panic.
"What the fuck do you mean -- too late?"
"Brian sold Babylon to Ted," Michael said. "And he brought in
some young hot-shot from Chicago to run Kinnetik for him. He'd
already been traveling back and forth between Pittsburgh and
L.A. regularly since right before Christmas, so he decided to
make it permanent."
Since before Christmas, thought Justin, his heart racing.
When I didn't come home.
"L.A.?" said Justin. "W... Why was Brian going back and forth
to L.A.?"
Michael shook his head. This wasn't his job -- telling Justin
all this stuff. But apparently no one else had the balls to do
it.
"To be with his new boyfriend," Michael answered. "The guy
he's living with out in California."
"New... boyfriend?" Justin felt his legs start to give way, so
he gripped the counter to keep himself from falling. No, not
Brian! Brian didn't DO boyfriends! Except Justin! That's the
way it had always been -- and the way it always would be!
And he hadn't been gone THAT long! Only a year. Maybe a bit
more than a year.
But it was only Time, after all? Wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
"Yes, new boyfriend," Michael stated bluntly. He found that
he was relishing telling Justin this news. Michael enjoyed
watching him squirm. And after the way he'd fucked Brian
over, he deserved to squirm!
"Who is this guy?" Justin whispered. "And where did Brian
meet him?"
Michael stared at Justin for a long moment before telling him.
He wanted to make certain that Justin really understood.
"Brian hooked up with him at the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival
at Carnegie Mellon that Ben was involved in organizing last
December. He's an old friend of Ben's from years ago. You may
have heard of him when you were out in Hollywood trying to be
a big-shot in the movies," Michael sniffed, thinking of Brian's
strained face when he told Michael that Justin wasn't coming
back from La La Land. "But this guy -- he's the real deal. He's
a famous gay film director. His name's Ron Rosenblum."
doesn't end all that quickly or simply. No,
nothing ever ends quickly or simply.
But this might be enough angst for most of
you. If it is -- I understand. Perfectly.
By Gaedhal
New York and Pittsburgh
Justin was sick of temping and sick of waiting on tables, so
he quit both jobs. With Ford's encouragement he applied for a
number of entry-level positions as an assistant art director
at some magazines and ad agencies. But he didn't get any of the
jobs because he didn't have his degree. He'd never finished his
course of study at PIFA and everywhere he went he found himself
competing with people who had graduated from many prestigious
art schools at the top of their classes. Justin tried to tell the
interviewers about 'Rage' and about his review in 'Art Forum.'
They listened politely -- and then closed his resume and handed
it back to him.
Ford offered to lend him money to go back to school and finish
his degree, but Justin shrank from that option. That's all he
needed -- another man to whom he owed money for his education.
He hadn't even begun to pay Brian back for everything he'd done.
It was a fucking vicious cycle and Justin had to figure out a
way to break out of it.
He got a job at another restaurant and tried to save some money
for future tuition.
Before Justin even knew it, he'd been away from Pittsburgh
for over a year.
That gave him an ache in his heart. He had to go back, at least
for a visit. To see his mother and sister. To see Deb and the
gang.
To see....
Justin wasn't proud when Ford paid for his ticket on a Liberty
Air flight to Pittsburgh that rainy day in April 2006. No, he
wasn't proud at all, but he let Ford pay anyway.
And he breathed a sigh of relief when he got on the plane and it
took off, leaving New York behind.
Maybe he wouldn't need to return. Maybe Brian would see him,
hold him tightly, and kiss him. That's when Justin would tell
him it had all been a huge fucking mistake. He was ready to
come back. He was ready to put all of his life into that empty
drawer -- for good this time.
Jennifer Taylor met Justin at the airport. She looked tired.
Older. Her romance with her boy toy, Tucker, had ended months
before and Justin had been glad. But now he saw how sad his
mother looked. And he remembered how happy she had been a
year ago. He flashed back on the two of them dancing around the
loft when he told her that he and Brian were getting married.
They had both been so happy at that moment. But it didn't last.
Nothing seemed to last.
Jennifer chatted on about her real estate clients and about Molly
and some of their old family friends, but she never mentioned
the one person Justin most wanted to hear about. Maybe she
didn't know anything. Maybe she and Debbie didn't speak
anymore so that Jennifer could hear all the news about...
everyone. With Justin out of town there was little reason for
them to speak.
That night after dinner Justin sat and stared at the television
while his mother read the paper. Then he looked over at her
and noticed that she was watching him, her face pensive.
"What, Mom?" he asked. "What is it?"
"Justin," she began. "There's... something I need to tell you."
Justin felt a cold snake crawling through his gut. "Tell me
what?" he said anxiously.
Jennifer Taylor paused, her eyes troubled. Then she took a
deep breath and looked away. "That... that I'm so glad to have
you home, honey, even if only for a few days."
"Oh," said Justin. He knew there was more she wanted to say,
but he didn't question her. He wasn't ready to question anyone
at this point.
The next day Jennifer went into the office to meet a client about
a house. She took her company car, a Lexus. The minute his
mother was gone, Justin borrowed her SUV and drove straight
to the loft. He had known that was the first place he'd go once he
was back in the Pitts. He didn't bother to call first. It was a
Saturday and he knew that Brian would be home. Or Justin hoped
that he would be. He wanted his return to be a happy surprise.
Justin still had his key. And he still knew the codes. But when
he tried them, none of them worked. He tried again. Then he got
out his phone and called Brian's cell. It was turned off. And
the loft phone was disconnected.
That's when Justin began to panic.
He drove directly to Red Cape Comics. It was open and Michael
was sitting behind the counter in his usual spot. A big cardboard
stand-up of Rage was next to the counter, his fists balled up,
ready to take his revenge. Michael blinked with surprise when
he saw Justin walk in.
"Where's Brian?" Justin demanded before Michael even had a
chance to say hello. "I went to the loft, but there's no one there!
I tried calling his cell AND the loft phone -- but I got nothing!
Where is he? Tell me!"
Michael quietly closed the comic book he was reading and gazed
at Justin, gathering his thoughts.
"Brian's not here," he said finally. "He sold the loft. He's
not living there anymore."
"Brian sold the loft?" Justin breathed.
"I thought you knew," Michael replied. "After all, your mom
handled the sale."
"My mother?" Justin repeated. And he thought of what she had
been trying to tell him the night before. Trying -- and
failing to tell him.
"Yes," said Michael. "And he's selling the big house, too."
"Bri-Tin?" Justin said in amazement. "You mean he kept
Bri-Tin? But... but why?"
Michael looked away, trying not to get angry. "Maybe he thought
he was going to live there with somebody... someday." Then he
looked back at Justin. "But it was pretty obvious that person
was never going to come back. Brian waited and waited, Justin.
But you never came back. And now it's too late."
"What do you mean?" Justin cried, his voice rising to a panic.
"What the fuck do you mean -- too late?"
"Brian sold Babylon to Ted," Michael said. "And he brought in
some young hot-shot from Chicago to run Kinnetik for him. He'd
already been traveling back and forth between Pittsburgh and
L.A. regularly since right before Christmas, so he decided to
make it permanent."
Since before Christmas, thought Justin, his heart racing.
When I didn't come home.
"L.A.?" said Justin. "W... Why was Brian going back and forth
to L.A.?"
Michael shook his head. This wasn't his job -- telling Justin
all this stuff. But apparently no one else had the balls to do
it.
"To be with his new boyfriend," Michael answered. "The guy
he's living with out in California."
"New... boyfriend?" Justin felt his legs start to give way, so
he gripped the counter to keep himself from falling. No, not
Brian! Brian didn't DO boyfriends! Except Justin! That's the
way it had always been -- and the way it always would be!
And he hadn't been gone THAT long! Only a year. Maybe a bit
more than a year.
But it was only Time, after all? Wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
"Yes, new boyfriend," Michael stated bluntly. He found that
he was relishing telling Justin this news. Michael enjoyed
watching him squirm. And after the way he'd fucked Brian
over, he deserved to squirm!
"Who is this guy?" Justin whispered. "And where did Brian
meet him?"
Michael stared at Justin for a long moment before telling him.
He wanted to make certain that Justin really understood.
"Brian hooked up with him at the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival
at Carnegie Mellon that Ben was involved in organizing last
December. He's an old friend of Ben's from years ago. You may
have heard of him when you were out in Hollywood trying to be
a big-shot in the movies," Michael sniffed, thinking of Brian's
strained face when he told Michael that Justin wasn't coming
back from La La Land. "But this guy -- he's the real deal. He's
a famous gay film director. His name's Ron Rosenblum."