STOP! Gamin' time!
Guess who got a job at Gamestop today. ^_^
All I did was walk in and he pretty much hired me on the spot. Albeit I was completely dressed from head to toe in Super Mario Brothers apparel, but still. I stood around talking to the Sprint kiosk manager for about an hour because I got to the mall super early, and he was really nice and gave me some good advice. I might just switch to Sprint because their plan for two phones with 1500 shared minutes and unlimited texting would only be $89 a month with my mall employment discount.
Well anyway.
I feel like I just got stabbed in the heart. I just....I feel like I'm losing all the people I care the most about, and they don't seem to realize it. I pretty much feel like a vegetable rotting on a vine that nobody has cared to pick for nurturing. I pretty much have no social life and never had, and my only 'good friends' are few and far between. I can count the amount of 'good friends' I have on one hand. And when you know your friends are down and you do everything in your feeble human power to lift them up and you can't, it's failure beyond belief. I mean, I'd rather kill myself than share this internal pain with anyone. It's like being hit with a bat repeatedly until someone decides to cut you open and dig your insides out for inspection without anesthetic.
Seriously? Where did I go wrong in being a friend?
And no, these aren't feelings commonly associated with my period. During my period I get mad. This is seemingly incurable sadness.
I just wish people would tell me....what?
That I fail?
To fuck off?
Tell me how they REALLY feel about me?
And not only that, but I've felt recently like a robot. I get up, go to work, get home, go to bed, repeat, repeat, repeat. Everyone does it. It's not unnatural. But not everyone puts out their all to their friends and just gets stabbed by emotions.
God? can I not be human anymore?
Well, at least I'll have something to do at work tonight; cry my fucking eyes out.
All I did was walk in and he pretty much hired me on the spot. Albeit I was completely dressed from head to toe in Super Mario Brothers apparel, but still. I stood around talking to the Sprint kiosk manager for about an hour because I got to the mall super early, and he was really nice and gave me some good advice. I might just switch to Sprint because their plan for two phones with 1500 shared minutes and unlimited texting would only be $89 a month with my mall employment discount.
Well anyway.
I feel like I just got stabbed in the heart. I just....I feel like I'm losing all the people I care the most about, and they don't seem to realize it. I pretty much feel like a vegetable rotting on a vine that nobody has cared to pick for nurturing. I pretty much have no social life and never had, and my only 'good friends' are few and far between. I can count the amount of 'good friends' I have on one hand. And when you know your friends are down and you do everything in your feeble human power to lift them up and you can't, it's failure beyond belief. I mean, I'd rather kill myself than share this internal pain with anyone. It's like being hit with a bat repeatedly until someone decides to cut you open and dig your insides out for inspection without anesthetic.
Seriously? Where did I go wrong in being a friend?
And no, these aren't feelings commonly associated with my period. During my period I get mad. This is seemingly incurable sadness.
I just wish people would tell me....what?
That I fail?
To fuck off?
Tell me how they REALLY feel about me?
And not only that, but I've felt recently like a robot. I get up, go to work, get home, go to bed, repeat, repeat, repeat. Everyone does it. It's not unnatural. But not everyone puts out their all to their friends and just gets stabbed by emotions.
God? can I not be human anymore?
Well, at least I'll have something to do at work tonight; cry my fucking eyes out.