I'm high, so.. here goes
I was starting to transcribe some lyrics into one of my other journals.. and I realized I can write without looking. I can't really type without looking that well, but I've been able to do this without thinking for quite some time. It got me thinking about "different types of brains and how we learn skills."
Are skills easy to learn? From where comes the ambition?
I have knowledge but not a lot of skill.
I wish it had been a sign long ago that I hyperfixate or zone out. AD-Polar. (I shook my head and tried to say words at the screen... lol. but I was gonna say "I hate that." That isn't true.)
So, to the thinking. I had learned to write more than use a computer. I developed a skill based on the time I was raised. I feel like I'm "just old enough" to start this... well, it started to feel like decay. Like I wasn't "keeping with the times." I felt old.
Then I moved into thinking this: (it's a different journal entry)
"I was transcribing without looking... I can't do that with typing. But, that's some amazing skill, both.
I would like to practice this as I age: an appreciation to the skills that others have "due to how or when they were raised.
That could be a key to undo trauma.
If the things I've been through could be viewed as 'Life Lessons,' they were necessary to be me.
And I love me."
I want to grow and know that the things I hated in my life, the hard times, the trauma and dearth and feelings of soullessness.. they teach. I love learning, sure.. but it's hard to focus on the message sometimes. (haha all the time)
I wanna be there. I wanna trust in my life to go the "right" way, 'cause there's no "wrong."
There's redemption if I fail.
I can always get back up, so long as I'm alive.