I love you more than I did the week before I discovered alcohol.
With good, comes bad. So much good, so much ease and so much gladness, that it is only time that something, some wrinkle should appear. I am surprised that the words of my being deposited on the steps of Camellia and drunken did not make it's rounds, and I am grateful for thier discretion. I spent the night, curled up in Maylea's room, sobbing and in the morning, once more with the state of my head. Whys he made me drink so much I do not know, save perhaps, that I would not remember. But I did. I have a sharp memory. I'll regret words spoken, I am sure, as I was put to bed.
He spoke, when I said that I hate the Inquisitor, that he couldn't imagine me hating anyone. And he's right. I'm incapable of hating. I don't hate the men who accosted and robbed me in the ally so long ago. I don't hate the Baronne for her undue jealousy. I don't hate the inquisitor for telling me things, that were better off not telling me in the first place.
I think I'm incapable of jealousy. I've been told i'm only human, i'll feel it at some point. I pray not. I've seen jealousy's actions. Seen the discomfort and affects. What the jealousy comes from, there should not be. I own nothing or control anything that the person who feels such should want. But there it is. I will be restraining myself, for the love of those I love, and for the love of those I know. I lived without it before, I can do such even though now I have tasted it. he said she didn't care about the one, and she wouldn't care about the other. She will. I'm female. It's different. I would go and speak with her, if I thought that it would help, but in the end the problem is thiers. The issue is thiers and it would do more harm than good.
Instead, I need to give peter my descision. See what comes of that.
He spoke, when I said that I hate the Inquisitor, that he couldn't imagine me hating anyone. And he's right. I'm incapable of hating. I don't hate the men who accosted and robbed me in the ally so long ago. I don't hate the Baronne for her undue jealousy. I don't hate the inquisitor for telling me things, that were better off not telling me in the first place.
I think I'm incapable of jealousy. I've been told i'm only human, i'll feel it at some point. I pray not. I've seen jealousy's actions. Seen the discomfort and affects. What the jealousy comes from, there should not be. I own nothing or control anything that the person who feels such should want. But there it is. I will be restraining myself, for the love of those I love, and for the love of those I know. I lived without it before, I can do such even though now I have tasted it. he said she didn't care about the one, and she wouldn't care about the other. She will. I'm female. It's different. I would go and speak with her, if I thought that it would help, but in the end the problem is thiers. The issue is thiers and it would do more harm than good.
Instead, I need to give peter my descision. See what comes of that.