carry on, carry on

[gabinohelio]

I suppose, that I have become a patron? I do not know. If I have a few spare moments after a patron has left in the morning, or in the afternoon before I gather with the others to being the night in earnest I find myself wandering there sometimes. Why does she even bother? But she does. I ask, and she comes. It is the same with Gautier. There are I'm sure, many more important things, and yet... I ask, and he comes. I show up, and he sits and speaks with me. I'm just another flower in the garden and yet, fresh from a bath she comes, sits, and talks. I brush her hair and we talk. I forget how much I like to talk. Not to hear my voice, but to hear someone else's. I hear my own far too much in my head.

I am weary. I wonder how long Peter and I can keep this up. How long until someone notices or comes to take care of Her. Nisha is getting ready for a debut and yet we cannot fathom putting one on without the Dowayne. But we go ahead. We have to. Mayhap we should ask Gautier what to do. Behind the silver temples and the cane, he seems to hold all the answers. Elua, so weary. I have not even the time to go and get my leaves. I've the coin, but not the time. I have to visit Marcello, before he thinks he has done something wrong, it has been weeks since I have managed to stumble my way to his shop for lessons, and the same for Naamah's pools or her temple. I shall take some of my coin, buy a dove and ask for her guidance.