you and me..we will be, in love again, if you let me.
so, the kiesha thing is pretty much over. the night before her champagne party we had got into it and she said some really hurtful things. she told me that talking to me was a waste of time and that she shouldnt even be talking to me because we dont go out. that really hurt me. like for someone to tell me that i am a WASTE OF TIME? you just dont do that. so the day of the champagne party i was sooo angry[yesterday] and she text me around 6pm and said "where are you" and i came at her and asked her basically was she serious. like you cant just tell me that i am a waste of time the night before and then want me to come and see you and be good to you? thats not how it fuckin works. even though i said that, i still felt horrible. like i couldnt function all day. i wanted to go and see her, but i didnt wanna look like a jackass and possibly go where im not wanted, or my time that i put to going would be nothing more then a "waste" so i didnt go. i stayed home and was mad/angry/sad/lonely/horny/depressed.
so around 12am she calls me from prom and tells me that she is so sorry for doing that to me and acting that way. she also said that she couldnt talk to me like she has been anymore because she doesnt wanna hurt me. and that supposedly her ex girl ruined her life and she doesnt wanna do the same to me. she says we dont match and that im too "perfect"....perfect. i feel that word another time this weekend ill scream.
perfect me? im not, by anymeans.. and if you say that im perfect, why not have me? why not have a trophy girl on your arm if you say thats what i am? theres something deeper. i know it is. it just sucks that as soon as i was letting my guard down, as soon as i was gonna start being serious, as soon as i was gonna tell her that i wanted her, and only her, she tells me that she cant talk to me like that anymore. why does this keep happening to me? they say play the game. i play it. they say act like you dont care and she will be on you. i did that, and she was, but now shes not here.im just so hurt, and it pains me that more then likely she isnt feeling the angiush that i am feeling right now. im so through. i cant keep doing this to myself. girls have killed me so many times and i pray, i pray so much that someone will bring me to life.
so around 12am she calls me from prom and tells me that she is so sorry for doing that to me and acting that way. she also said that she couldnt talk to me like she has been anymore because she doesnt wanna hurt me. and that supposedly her ex girl ruined her life and she doesnt wanna do the same to me. she says we dont match and that im too "perfect"....perfect. i feel that word another time this weekend ill scream.
perfect me? im not, by anymeans.. and if you say that im perfect, why not have me? why not have a trophy girl on your arm if you say thats what i am? theres something deeper. i know it is. it just sucks that as soon as i was letting my guard down, as soon as i was gonna start being serious, as soon as i was gonna tell her that i wanted her, and only her, she tells me that she cant talk to me like that anymore. why does this keep happening to me? they say play the game. i play it. they say act like you dont care and she will be on you. i did that, and she was, but now shes not here.im just so hurt, and it pains me that more then likely she isnt feeling the angiush that i am feeling right now. im so through. i cant keep doing this to myself. girls have killed me so many times and i pray, i pray so much that someone will bring me to life.