Wise up

[reddress11]

Title: Wise Up
Author: Reddress11
Summary: Guess who’s coming to dinner? All is not the same since Addison left. Every decision she makes changes the course of those lives around her. Set after the disaster known as “Desire.” Other characters’ and their story lines involved. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Music: Beginning: Elephant: Damien Rice (Beautiful lyrics, they pretty much say it all)
Middle: Missing You: John Wait 
End: Throw me a Rope: K T Tunstall

Coming out of a patient’s room Derek was not in the mood for surprises. It had been a quiet day and he had hoped that things would stay that way. However as he handed off his latest patient’s chart to the nearest nurse and headed for the elevator, his hopes were shattered.
Hearing a familiar voice he turned, looking for the source as his senses filled with a barely recognizable scent. Looking up, his mind instantly went blank when he caught a glimpse of red hair. Sure there were at least three other women in the hospital that had natural red hair but as her perfume lingered in the air around him and her voice reverberated in his mind something  clicked.
Stunned, Derek stopped mid motion and just watched as the elevator doors closed and the passengers traveled to the fourth floor. He couldn’t believe it. It had been almost two years since he had seen or heard from Addison. And more often than not he found himself looking for her in crowds; almost hoping that he face would appear. Was his mind playing tricks on him? If Addison was coming to town surly there would have already been gossip. With muddled thoughts, Derek hurriedly climbed the stairs towards the fourth floor.
Stepping out of the stair well Derek tried to calm himself as he moved past the nurses’ station.
With eyes scanning he began casually glancing in patient rooms. Looking through most, he had almost given into his earlier assumptions of delusions when from across the hall he heard the same voice again.
There she was; with her hair up and her eyes sparkling. Derek was stopped in his tracks. It was funny when you stopped and thought about it, time goes faster and then you blinked. Everything had changed in the time that she had been gone. But as he watched her move throughout the room and a small smile tease at her lips he realized that everything was also the same. It was hard to believe, but after everything they had been through: the cheating, betrayal and pain, she was still a big part of him. He still thought and dreamt of her.
“Four.”
Closing the curtain Karev questioned, “Four?”
“Four, people know about me being here. George, Callie, yourself and Burke.”
“Burke knows?”
“We still talk and write. I called him this morning and left a message.”
“You talk?” With a look of Surprise Alex finished, “I would have never guessed. He never mentioned anything.”
In reply Addison just shrugged her shoulders. “So tell me about-“
Walking out of the room Addison stopped mid-sentence. Across the hall, leaning up against the door frame was Derek.
Taking a deep breath Addison smiled and called out, “Hello Derek.”
Breathing a little himself, Derek answered after what seemed like years to Addison, “Hello Addison.”
Pushing off the door, Derek walked over to meet where she was standing. Without breaking his step, he quickly embraced her. “You come to town and don’t call up your ex husband?”
Still embracing, Addison thought out loud, “I didn’t think it was news that you would want to receive.”
Standing next to the hugging Ex’s Alex took his cue and politely excused himself, “I’m suppose to meet someone for lunch. I’ll catch up with you later Addison.”
“Coffee?”
Turning before he entered the stair well Alex concluded, “Tomorrow, 10ish, the cafeteria?”
“I’ll be there.”
Letting go Derek was hesitant to move away. “You look good.”
Laughing a little Addison flatly answered, “I look like a mess.”
Tugging at her shirt, “I appreciate-“
Covering her roaming hand with his own his met her eyes and sincerely finished, “You look amazing,” and to himself he though, “Just as I remember.”
Blushing slightly she moved her hand from under his and offered a “Thanks.”
She hadn’t expected to see him so soon. Looking back at him she didn’t know what to do. Everything was different but things felt the same. His hair might have been longer but his eyes were the same blue.
After a series of moments passed and neither had moved, both broke at the same time stepping further away.
“I really need to go back up to Callie’s room.”
“Um, well I can walk you.”
Pausing, Addison thought for a brief second about whether to refuse and then with better judgment motioned for him follow, “Okay.”
“So you’re here…”
“To help Callie. She called and asked if I would deliver the baby.”
“So how long are you staying?”
Walking onto the second floor she thought and then replied, “I don’t know, as long as it takes to deliver the baby and make sure both of them are healthy.”
“Not a vacation then?”
Surprised, Addison stumbled, “Um… no.”
Reaching Callie’s room Addison stopped just outside the door, “Well thank you.”
“We should go to dinner.”
“What?”
“Dinner, you and I, we should go.”
“Derek- I should really-“
“Come on its just dinner. We can catch up.”
“With my ex?”
As a smile spread across his face, Addison instantly knew that nothing had changed. He still tried to manipulate women with what the interns had coined as the McDreamy smile.
In what was meant to be sincere but instead sounded slightly playful, Derek corrected, “With a friend.”
Again hesitating, “Sure.”
“Okay, I’ll pick you at George’s, at seven.”
“I’ll see you then.”

Aime Lyrics
 Nothing unusual, nothing strange                  Comes from nothing at all
Close to nothing at all                                  I saw a spaceship fly by your window
The same old scenario, the same old rain       Did you see it disappear?     
And there's no explosions here
Then something unusual, something strange
Amie come sit on my wall                           Something unusual, something strange
And read me the story of O                      Comes from nothing at all
And tell it like you still believe                     But I'm not a miracle
That the end of the century                         And you're not a saint
Brings a change for you and me                   Just another soldier
Nothing unusual, nothing's changed             On the road to nowhere
Just a little older that's all
You know when you've found it,
There's something I've learned
'Cause you feel it when they take it away

Amie come sit on my wall
And read me the story of O
And tell it like you still believe
That the end of the century
Brings a change for you and me

And Amie come sit on my wall
And read me the story of O
And tell it like you still believe
That the end of the century
Brings a change for you and me

“Something’s different.”

Looking over his laptop Derek answered, “Different?”
Setting down his fork Mark continued, “Yes, you seem different. If I didn’t know better I would almost say happy.”
“Are you saying I’m not a sunny person?”
“You’re not the kind of person who walks around all day with a shit eating grin on his face.”
Raising his eyebrows Derek commented, “True, but today is different my friend.”
“Oh and how is that?”
Closing his lap top, Derek answered, “I have a date.”
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”
As Izzie entered the room, Mark’s face brightened a little. “Hey.”
Standing above him, Izzie reached down for a quick kiss.
Trying to cut in and draw Mark’s attention away from PDA and back to him, Derek continued, “As I was saying-“
“Did you call the caterer?”
Thinking for a few moments Mark replied, “No I forgot.”
“Mark, you were suppose to make sure-“
“I know I’m sorry. I’ll call them after lunch.”
Taking a grape off of his plate and popping it into her mouth, Izzie continued, “Thank you. And do you want me to go to the air port and pick up your mother or would you rather?”
“I have a surgery scheduled for five, so if you could that would be great.”
Taking his opportunity to interrupt the conversation Derek again piped in, “I can do it if you can’t make it Izzie.”
Looking at Derek, she smiled an offered a quick thanks.
“I should do something right? After all I am the best man.”
Breaking in, Mark questioned, “Wait, I thought you had a date.”
Again focusing her attention on Derek, Izzie asked, “A date?”
“I do, but I’m sure she won’t mind if I’m a little late.”
“She?” Izzie asked with heightened interest.
“That’s right, she. I know, its tough being this good looking, but believe it or not I’m not gay.”
“I know you’re not gay. I was more interested in whom she is, and furthermore why you have scheduled a date the same night as the rehearsal dinner.”
“The dinner… right. Is it alright if I bring her?”
“Sure-“
But before Izzie could finish Derek’s paged went off. “I have to go, but don’t worry about Madeline. I’ll pick her up.”

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Addison carefully pinned up the last strands of hair. Scanning over her outfit in the mirror, she wondered if she was over dressed. In indigo colored evening dress that was cut just above the knees, she looked stunning. With George still at the hospital, Addison had no one to ask about her appearance; making her even more apprehensive by the moment.
Again looking at herself in the mirror Addison questioned her thought process. What was she really worried about? She had Known Derek for what seemed like forever, and he had already seen her at her worst. 
But no matter how hard she tried to calm and reassure herself, she was unsuccessful. She had to look great. Any divorced women would know how she felt. She needed to look good on principle. She couldn’t be shown up by her ex who left her, or was if who she left? After all it wasn’t like she had been kicked out; she left on her own accord. Of course this was after he cheated on her with someone ten years her junior.
“Stop.” Now talking out loud to herself, “Just stop, Addison. You’re going to go out and have a nice quite dinner with your ex husband and catch up on old times.”
Finally, sweeping up the last curly strand, Addison was interrupted by the sound of the door bell.
Looking one last time in the mirror, “You can do this.”
Taking her last deep breath Addison opened the door.
Moments passed between them as Derek stood, mind blank, unable to think of something intelligent to say.
Thinking that she’d make the first move, Addison started, “Hello.”
“Hey… (another pause as Derek continued to search for something to say), are you ready?”
“Yeah, come in. Just let me grab my jacket.”
Waiting, Derek tried desperately to think of small talk. “Their place looks really nice.”
Coming down the hall again Addison looked around and commented, “Doesn’t it. Callie always did say that she wanted to build her own dream house.”
“Well, their architect did a good job. You should see Mark’s though, he did great job fixing up the house that he bought.”
Helping her put on her coat he continued, “Mark’s house is pretty impressive.”
“Mark bought a house?”
Leading her out the door and towards the car, “Yeah, a run down, big Victorian, over a year ago. He did all the work himself, in his free time. It’s beautiful really; he and I finished building the rest of the wraparound porch a month ago.”
“You helped Mark? “
Turning onto the free way Derek smiled and answered, “We worked it out. Everyone needs a best friend. In fact, you’ll actually get to see the house tonight.”
“What?”
“I forgot when we made plans that their rehearsal dinner is tonight. And as the best man, it would look a little tacky if I didn’t show up.”
“The rehearsal dinner? I thought-“
“Don’t worry; it wouldn’t be the same without you. He’ll be surprised when he sees you.”
“He doesn’t know I’m coming?”
“I didn’t have the chance to tell him. He knows I’m bringing someone though.”
Under her breath Addison commented, “Great.”
“So after we pick up Madeline at the airport, we’ll just head over.”
“Madeline?”
“Mark’s mom. You’ve never met her before have you? This should be a treat then.”
Throw me a Rope KT Tunstall Lyrics
I want you between me and the feeling i get when i miss you,
but everything here's telling me i should be fine,
so why is it so, it bothers below that im missing you every time?

i got used to you whispering things to me into the evening,
we followed the sun, and it's colours, and left this world,
it seems to me, that i'm definately, hearing the best that i've heard,.

so throw me a rope, to hold me in place,
show me a clock, for counting my days, down,
cos everythings easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
cos i feel alone.

and whenever you go it's like holding my breath under water,
i have to admit that i kinda like it when i do,
oh but i got to be, unconditionally,
unafraid, of my days, without you,

so throw me a rope, to hold me in place,
show me a clock, for counting my days, down,
'cos everything easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
whenever i'm falling, you're always behind me,
come back and find me,
cos everythings easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
cos i feel alone

“You are absolutely stunning. Sorry, I’m Madeline, Mark’s mother.”
As they shook hands in the car, Addison was not surprised that Mark’s mom looked ten years younger than what she actually was.
“Mark’s always had an eye for attractive women, but you are beautiful.”
A little confused, Addison started, “Well thank you Mrs. Sloan-“
“Oh, call me Madeline. We’ll be family soon.”
Turning quickly, Derek corrected, “No Madeline, this is Addison.”
“I’m sorry.  I only assumed.”
Continuing, “Addison is my-“
“Ex-wife,” Addison quickly chimed in.
“Oh, the one that…” Trailing for a few moments Madeline finally finished, “Like I said Mark’s always had an eye for beautiful women.”
Under his breath, Derek answered, “Even if they’re not his to have.”
“Well I suppose what’s done is done. And now Mark is getting married. I never thought it was possible but he’s finally settling.”
Under her breath, Addison repeated, “He’s getting married.”

Getting out of the car, Addison was stunned; Mark’s house was amazing. With each step that she took towards the front door her pulse quickened.
Opening the door Izzie greeted them, “Hello Madeline, I’m Isobel Stevens.”
“Well it’s nice to finally meet you.”
As they walked into the front entry way, Addison’s eyes continued to scan her surroundings. She couldn’t believe that Mark had done all of this himself. Maybe things had changed with him.
“Oh my gosh, Addison. Derek said he was bringing someone, but I never thought.”
“Surprise?”
“How long have you been in town?”
“I just got in this morning.”
“Well this is a nice surprise.”
Talking to the other guests, Izzie informed, “Everyone else is in the dining room. Just go all the way down the hall and take a right and then left.” Teasing she continued, “Call out if you get lost.”
“I’m so excited that you could make it.”
“I hope that I’m not intruding.”
“No not at all. I think it’s only fitting that Mark should have two of his oldest friends here. Are you coming to the wedding?”
“I, well I didn’t think that-“
“Of course you’re coming. You need to be there. It would only be right.”

Addison didn’t know how to answer as Izzie led her down to hall to the dining room. Was Izzie really serious about her attending the wedding? She must have known about the history between her and Mark.
Before Addison could work up a response she was out of time. Entering the room she was greeted with twenty pairs of eyes staring at her.
Derek was the first to speak, “Guess who I brought dinner?”
Mid conversation, Mark stopped and turned to behold what everyone else couldn’t take their eyes off of. His heart instantly dropped in his chest as he caught a glimpse of red hair. She was there, After all this time and everything that had happened; she was there, in his home, next to his fiancé, starring at him.
With their eyes locked, he couldn’t breathe. His mind raced; trying desperately to divert his eyes and relieve the pressure he felt building in his lungs.
 “Addison why don’t you take a seat next to Derek?”
Throughout the night Addison tried desperately not to look in Mark’s direction. Instead she chose to focus her attention on everything else around her. Although she and Burke had kept in touch and she knew that he and Cristina hadn’t tried to make it work, she was still surprised that they both brought dates. She would have attempted to make conversation with Burke, but his focus was directed more towards starring down Cristina’s date.
Meredith looked happy as she leaned further into her Vet. Addison was surprised but when she entered the room Meredith was one of the first to offer her a greeting. Taking her kindness as a cue Addison leaned slightly in and in a discrete voice greeted Meredith back, “Hello Meredith.”
“Hi Addison, it’s nice to see you.”
“Thank you.”
“You remember Finn?”
Shaking her head Addison smiled and answered, “I do, it’s nice to see you again.”
“You too.”
In a quick glance Addison and Finn exchanged a look that was simply understood between them two of them as, “We both made it.”
“So when did you to get back together?”
Looking at Finn, Meredith responded, “We started dating again maybe three weeks after you left. And we moved in about a year ago.”
“You two live together?”
Holding her hand out Meredith smiled and showed her ring, “We’re getting married.”
“When?”
“Next October. We would love it, if you could come. When we send out invitations, I’ll make sure to mail you one.”
“Thank you.”
Before Meredith turned her focus back on Finn, Addison winked at her. Meredith in response smiled back and slightly nodded head.
Everything in the room seemed to be running smoothly; there were at least nine different conversations going on at once and eight others that were silently being spoken. Sitting back, Addison observed as polite conversation filled the room. Looking at Burke and Cristina she realized that some old flames still burned, but then with shifting her eyes towards Meredith and Derek, she also realized that some had simply just petered out.
“It was the funniest thing.”
One conversation seemed to drawing in larger group of people, “When I got in the car I just saw this beautiful women. Automatically I assumed that it was Isobel. I was so sure that the woman in front of me had to be the creature that had captivated Mark, that I start talking about how happy I was that she was going to be part of the family. Then mid sentence Derek was kind enough to inform me that that Siren in front of me wasn’t Mark’s fiancé but instead Derek ex- wife. I was so embarrassed.”
As everyone listening received a quick laugh Izzie questioned, “You’d never met Addison before?”
“No, when she and Derek were married I was on a cruise with my third husband, Jonathan.”
“Third?” Izzie again questioned.
“Mark didn’t tell you? I suppose not. I’ve been married five times.”
A little surprised Miranda asked, “Five?”
Coyly smiling Madeline answered, “Five. I could tell you few tell you things about love. After the fifth husband, you become sort of an expert on reading people and knowing the signs of affection. That’s why I was surprised when Derek informed me that I had mixed up Mark’s finance. “
After a short awkward pause Mark uttered in a barely audible voice, “Imagine that.”
With a small wave of his hand Mark signaled over the waiter and quietly informed him to stop serving his mother wine and instead start giving her watered down grape juice.
After desert was served all the guests moved into the back yard to sit by the bonfire and enjoy a few drinks. Getting up from the table Addison took her opportunity, and instead of following everyone out the French patio doors, moved into the kitchen.
Standing with his back to her, Addison waited: trying to think of what she could possibly say.
Mark didn’t need to turn to see who was behind him. Somehow he could just feel her presence, “Hello Addison.”
“Your mother’s nice.”
Turning and leaning up against the sink Mark continued in a less than friendly tone, “What are you doing here?”
Setting down her wine glass on the kitchen island Addison answered, “I didn’t know that this is where I was going tonight.”
Both, unsure of how to continue the two just stared at each other for the next minute.
“I love the house. It’s beautiful; Derek told me that you did all the work yourself.”
Another awkward pause filled the room as Addison wondered what to say next.” I haven’t had the opportunity to get you alone yet but… I just want to say congratulations. Izzie’s great and I’m sure that you and her will be very happy.”
When Mark still didn’t crack Addison became even more uncomfortable. Deciding that sincerity wasn’t working she instead tried humor, “I didn’t have the chance to get you a wedding present but I’m sure I’ll think-“
Mark interrupted, “Thank you. I know Izzie and I will be very happy.”
Without another word, Mark picked up his drink and left Addison alone in kitchen.
Addison wasn’t alone long however, right after Mark’s departure another cooling conversation began taking place in the hall way off the kitchen.
“She’s nice, what does she do for a living?”
With a hint of amusement in his voice Burke answered, “She’s a lawyer.”
In a slow drawling tone Cristina answered, “R-i-g-h-t.”
“Is there something wrong with lawyers?”
Faying innocence Cristina fired back, “No, lawyer- sounds interesting.”
“What does your guy do?”
“He’s a member of the hospital administration at Mercy West.”
Sarcastically Burke questioned, “Not a doctor? I’m shocked.”
“No he is, actually he use to be one of the leading oncologists on the west coast.”
“Use to?”
Annoyed Cristina spat out, “Stop being so childish.”
“Me childish? That’s just great coming from you.”
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
“Like you don’t know. You brought him just to annoy me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. And don’t pretend you didn’t the same. A lawyer? Seriously?”
“A least she doesn’t have the emotional tendencies of someone with a frontal lobotomy.”
“Are you trying to insinuate that I’m cold? Well that’s just fresh coming from you. Who’s asshole who left?”
“I left because-“Stopping short Burke couldn’t finish his sentence.
“Because? Really let me know. I would be fascinated to hear your explanation for that.”
“I left because…”
“Burke, are you coming?”
Graciously smiling Burke moved passed a frazzled Cristina and answered his date, “Sure honey, I’m coming right now.”
“Yang, we’re done here. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. We have the Richardson Angioplasty.”
Dropping her head Cristina just nodded.
Figuring that she had heard more that what she should have, Addison quickly left the kitchen and follow the sound of John Wait’s “Missing You,” out into the backyard.
Addison needed to see a friendly face, seeing George sitting alone, she instantly made her decision.
“So I didn’t know that you are in the wedding.”
“You didn’t hear? I’m the maid of honor.”
“Maid of Honor?”
“Actually more like Man of Honor? I don’t know. Whatever you call it, I’m first in line.”
“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. I just figured…”
Picking up where Addison was too polite to finish, “That Izzie would want someone different, because of what happened?”
Shrugging her shoulder, “Well honestly…”
“I guess the friendship is more important.”
“So you two are friends again?”
“After you left, things changed. I made a choice.”
The conversation stopped for a moment as both looked over at Mark and Izzie.
Deciding to state the obvious Addison laughed, “What is it with this music?”
Looking back at Addison, George plainly responded, “A little fitting don’t you think?”
Laughing a little Addison shook her head and raised her glass. Normally she would have attempted to deny his insinuations, but looking at George she knew it was pointless. He was being honest and Addison felt that it was only fair to give the curtsy. Besides, George might have been quiet but he was observant enough to make it impossible for Addison to pretend any different.
Continuing George explained, “I thought I knew what I wanted. Then things changed with Izzie and I was lost; searching for the right decision. And then one day a good friend gave me great advice.”
“And what was that?”
“In so many words? She told me that there would always be temptation, but that the secret was realizing to appreciate what you already had.”
“And that’s what made you realize you wanted to stay with Callie?”
“No, it made me think about what it was that I already had. With Izzie I had a great friend, and a fantasy. A dream of possibilities that I never thought where there.”
“That seems pretty convincing to me.”
“It was tempting; I’m not going to deny it. But with Callie… things were different. I not only had a great friend but a team mate. Someone who I knew was there for me. Who would be there regardless of what I did. Callie was reality, she was beautiful and stable. In her own way Callie’s better than a fantasy because things like that are great at first, but in time they fade. My romantic notions of Izzie were instant and strong, but unrealistic. It took time to love Callie; time to appreciate everything about her and to love her for being who she is. In the end I could live without Izzie; but Callie, I don’t know if I’d want to live anymore if I didn’t have her.”
Sitting on the edge of her chair, Addison was tearing up, “I think that is one of the most amazingly,” searching for the right way to put it, “touching things I’ve ever heard.”
“It’s true,” Lowering his voice a little George finished, “And if things were different or if he could say it, he would.”
Addison was slightly confused, “He would?” Which he?
“So you just walked away?”
“No, I stepped away. I let Izzie find someone else, and I went back to what I already had.”
“Do you ever…”
“Wonder? All the time. I’m not going to say that it wasn’t hard, because it damn near killed me. There are times when I all I want to do and stop wondering and find out. But in the end, some doors are better left un-opened.”
Taking one last look at Izzie, George smiled and finished, “I know you must be wondering if when I look at her all I see is something that I wish I could have, “ looking Addison strait in the eyes, “But all I want do right now, is to go home and be my wife.”
Setting down his drink, George briefly kissed Addison on the cheek, “It’s nice having you back. I’m going to go to the hospital. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Good night George. Call me if anything happens.”
Alone, Addison watched as George went over to happy couple and said his goodbyes for the evening.

He knew it was foolish, but Derek couldn’t but help starring at her. Two years seemed, like ten years. Had he made a mistake when he left her the first time? The night that he found her in bed with Mark had been one of the most horrific things that he had ever experienced in his life. The only thing he could do was leave. If he didn’t, he might have just died; right there, he might have just decided that he no longer want to continue breathing. 
So he left and found breathing room somewhere else, in someone else’s bed. Meredith was beautiful, complicated and young… too young and not quite right. That night in the bar she was a possibility. A Possibility that became an expectation. When he saw her at prom she was an unrequited dream: the thought of everything that he “could have”, his own fantasy. So like any man starring at a beautiful and willing opportunity he acted on what most would constitute as pure thoughtless desire.   And Meredith proved to be all that he had hoped: she was room think and opportunity to be had. But as all fantasies and most relationships between those who desire and objects of lust, their relationship eventually became rationalized. When the smoke finally dissipated between them, both realized that things were not as they had been built up to be.
Derek in all of his wonderfulness was a great adventure and an appreciated lesson. He helped her believe that she was a good human being and that she was worthy of love. Through their struggle he guided her in finding what she needed from someone. However, sadly enough as time wore on and against what Meredith had hoped, she finally understood that although their relationship had been meaningful and she had loved him, he was not that someone. There had come time between them when she had learned and grown all she could in their relationship.
Meredith in return helped Derek remember what he used to be, who he had once wanted to be: to someone else. There came a point in their relationship when Derek finally took a step back and questioned why he was trying so hard to make something work when it just didn’t fit. Why he needed her to open up, and why he needed to prove that he would be there. And then he realized that it wasn’t her that he was trying to fix: it was the problem and the idea. He needed to prove, if only to himself, that he wasn’t what he had become before. That indifference was not all that he was capable of, and that he could love someone enough that they wouldn’t ever need to leave him. That he could be that guy and he could perpetuate that dream for someone. 
Their denouement was like the closing of all great adventures: sad but rewarding. Both had walked away hurt and nostalgic but also appreciative of the experience. She had moved on and found someone who she could continue to grow with and never stop learning from. She found her ultimate partner.   
There were times when Derek wondered if they could have worked. If the timing had been different and the circumstances changed; would he and Meredith have made a good match? But in the end he knew that there was no sense in trying to change what had already been done, and dreaming of what would never be. He never regretted for one moment his time with her. Instead he had learned to appreciate what was, and build on what he’d learned. They were over and she was gone; now belonging to someone else. But her memories and lessons would never him. Meredith would always hold a special part of him: that dream of what he wished he could be.
Meredith was defined, and although they had never verbalized their closure, Derek knew how to classify that relationship. How was it that he could see his relationship with Meredith so clearly, but with Addison things were never definable? Somehow it was infinitely more difficult to classify and walk away from a relationship that spanned more than a decade and a half. However, maybe that wasn’t it either, for him it wasn’t the time that was difficult to let go; it was just her.
“Are you about ready to go?”
“I’m ready to leave whenever you are. There’s just one thing, I forgot to get a house key from George so we’re going to have to run to the hospital.”
“Don’t worry about it. You can just stay with me.”
With a raised eyebrow Addison’s skeptical look was answered, “We were married for eleven years. I’ve already seen everything that you have to offer.”
“Thanks really don’t worry about trying to feed my ego.”
“So it’s settled. You’ll stay with me.”

A/N: Okay so I know that when reading fics people often skip right over the most of the story and move on to the dialogue to find out what happened. I implore you however to read it all. I know it seems very long, but believe it or not it’s all leading somewhere. And there is a reason why this story isn’t just strait Addison and her men. The other characters' and their struggles are crucial to what’s going on. Also I apologize (maybe not) for breaking up MerDer. However, I did try my best to explain why that relationship didn’t last.

"Elephant"

This has got to die           You can keep me pinned
This has got to stop          It’s easier to tease
This has got to lie down    But you can’t pain an elephant
Someone else on top        Quite as good as she

And she may cry like a baby     So why d’you have to lie?
And she may drive me Crazy     I take it I’m your crutch
'Cause I am lately lonely           The pillow in your pillow case
                                              It’s easier to touch

And when you think you've sinned                  And she may rise, if I sing you down
Do you fall upon your knees?                         And she may wisely cling to the ground
And do you sit within your picture?                 Cause I’m lately horny
Do you still forget the breeze?                         So why would she take me horny?

What's the point of this song? Or even singing?      This has got to stop
You've already gone, why am I clinging?                This has got to lie down, down
Well I could throw it out, and I could live without      With someone else on top
And I could do it all for you
I could be strong
Tell me if you want me to lie
'Cause this has got to die

You can both keep me pinned         Well you know that's a lie
'Cause it's easier to tease
But you can't make me happy
Quite as good as me

Missing you: John Waite
Everytime I think of you, I always catch my breath
And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away
And I'm wonderin' why you left
And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name in certain circles, and it always makes me smile
I spend my time thinkin' about you, and it's almost driving me wild
And there's a heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you, no matter what I might say
There's a message in the wire, and I'm sending you this signal tonight
You don't know how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight
In your world I have no meaning, though I'm trying hard to understand
And it's my heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight

Chorus:
I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you, no matter what my friends say

And there's a message that I'm sending out, like a telegraph to your soul
And if I can't bridge this distance, stop this heartbreak overload

(chorus)

I ain't missing you, I ain't missing you, I can lie to myself

And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight

(chorus)

Ain't missing you, I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you, I can lie to myself
Ain't missing you, I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you, I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you, I ain't missing you, ain't missing you, oh no
No matter what my friends might say, I ain't missing you...