In the Waiting Line (Alex/Addison)
Title: One was "Love Will Come Through" now as "In the Waiting Line"
Pairing: Addison/Alex
Alright Chapter Nine is the newest chapter. I used Damien Rice for this chapter (to give me inspiration :P)
Oh and it seems that LJ has a tendency at mixing up things in my stories and putting things into italics that I don't want in italics so ... I'm sorry if things seem a little out of place. I tried fixing it, but still some things might be out of place just to forewarn you.
Chapter One
"Pour me another one." It was a more of a plea than a demand, especially coming from her. Head bowed, she seemed fixated on the many shot glasses sitting in front of her.
He watched her down what seemed to be the sixth shot that night and wondered how drunk she really was. He smiled when he thought about how much she was going to later wish she hadn’t taken that last shot. His smile faded however, when he thought about why she was taking that last shot. He hadn’t seen her all day instead he was busy running coffee errands for none other than Mark Sloan.
He shook his head, trying to shake off today’s tiresome events. His attention was pulled back to her as she repeated it yet again. "Pour me another one Joe." He missed that sultry voice of hers, now however it was somewhat slurred. Nevertheless, he missed it and hearing it now made him realize this now more than ever.
From where he was sitting, he could see Joe sigh heavily and place a hand on hers as he said, "Don’t you think you’ve had enough Addison?" He looked sympathetically at her, and Alex couldn’t blame him, Addison was obviously trying to drown her sorrows. The only thing she was going to drown was herself, or want to, the next day when she would wakeup to the hangover from hell.
She pulled her hand out from under his and said in a slurred speech, "I haven’t had enough until I’ve forgotten. Forgotten about the slutty panties and …" She paused as she was unexpectedly overcome by a rush of emotions. She seemed to be fighting not to cry, but it was a losing battle.
The air was filled with an unrecognizable Dave Matthew’s Band song, which didn’t seem to match Addison’s miserable position. Alex watched as Joe patted her hand and turned to help the next customer. Eyes closed, she swayed to the music gently. Alex knew her actions weren’t meant to be seductive, but they sure as hell weren’t helping him want to rush over there any less. He traced the rim of his beer glass absentmindedly as he continued to watch her, until finally, she stopped as the song ended. Another song came on by a modern artist, one Alex didn’t know. He stared at the beer in front of him and downed its remaining contents before suddenly approaching her. He didn’t know why, but he felt compelled to be next to her.
Before he knew what he was doing he was asking if he could join her. Without even glancing at him she muttered a "sure." He was somewhat hurt by her lack of a better response, but quickly shrugging it off, he joined her.
Her eyes stared absentmindedly on one of the half full shot glasses in front of her. Alex followed her gaze and asked, "Aren’t you going to drink it?" He offered as a way of breaking her out of her trance.
"What’s the point?" She asked tiredly. "It doesn’t help…"
"What would?"
Addison broke her gaze and finally looked into Alex’s eyes for the first time that night. "I don’t know." She said truthfully. Her eyes once again fell upon her semi empty glass, but Alex’s remained on her. She chuckled lightly and said, "I’m drunk, but not too drunk not to notice you checking me out."
Alex smiled. "You’re right. I am checking you out. Is that wrong?"
She looked up at him. "No, as a newly divorced woman it’s … it’s actually comforting." Her tone seemed to have a sad underlining to it. She cleared her throat as if the moment had gotten too awkward for her and she changed the subject. "So, Karev-"
"It’s Alex." He said, cutting her off.
"What?"
"We’re not at work, so it’s Alex." He said smirking.
She smiled. "Okay … I forgot what I was about to say." She said laughing a little. Alex also laughed and said, "You must be drunk."
"Hey!" She said with a pointed finger, "I can hold my liquor thank you very much."
"The shaky finger disagrees with said statement." He said smugly.
She glared at him in a joking manner. "That may be so." She grew quiet and Alex sensed she was venturing back to her gloomy state.
"Hey." Alex said as he leaned towards her and smiled gently.
"Hey yourself." She said, returning his smile, although hers was more reserved than his had been. She looked up at him and shook her head. "What are you doing here?"
Alex shrugged he sensed that question was coming; fortunately he had an answer ready. "Long day. Plus Sloan was being a jerk again."
"You’re telling me." Addison muttered.
He paused, thinking he heard her say something, but she only looked at him and asked, "What’d he do this time?"
"Besides making me his own personal delivery boy? Nothing. And I mean that too, absolutely no surgeries."
"I’m sorry." She said, in a somewhat slurred tongue, she seemed to mean it though.
"It’s not your fault he’s an ass." He said reassuringly.
"Yeah." She sighed. Alex could sense a bit of disbelief in her tone.
"So as long as we’re talking about our days, how was yours?" It seemed unnatural to ask her this, even to him, and he could see that she thought so too by the way she was looking at him. "Really Karev? You honestly care how my day went."
"Yes, I can honestly say I do." He didn’t even bother telling her to call him Alex again. In truth, he liked the way his last name rolled off her tongue, no sense changing it now.
She was taken aback, he could tell. Her mouth hung slightly, which Alex found to be quite hot. She smiled, not a fake smile, a genuine smile, but it quickly faded once she answered. "My day … was fine. I mean it was long, but it was alright."
"Seriously?" He asked her sarcastically. "You seriously expect me to buy that crap?"
"What? It was fine. Now, I’m not so sure about." She said smiling at him.
He nodded, "Alright, I’ll take that hit. I can leave right now you know." He said as he pretended to get up. Addison placed a hand on his arm to stop him. "No." She said, rather too quickly. "Don’t go." Alex stopped and turned around to face her, trying but failing to hide how amused he was by the situation. He sat back down, but her hand remained clasped to his arm, he didn’t bother saying anything about it.
Alex didn’t know when, but somehow Joe managed to place another shot glass in front of her, one that she was now downing. She slammed the glass on the bar and it made a rough clank against the hard wood. He watched her, mesmerized by her actions. Without even looking at him she said, "You’re doing it again."
"What?"
"The staring thing." She said, this time while looking at him.
"I’m just trying to understand why Shepherd and Sloan gave you up. Besides the fact that they’re idiots."
She gave a drunken laugh. "Funny Karev … real funny."
Alex shook his head. "No, I mean it. If I had someone half as great as you, I wouldn’t give her up without a fight." There was lingering eye contact and he didn’t know the exact moment until it happened, but her face was but inches away from his, his eyes looking directly into hers. Her eyes left his, but for only a second as she glanced at his lips. He knew this wasn’t the place, but right then, he really couldn’t care less. He took his moment as he closed the gap between their lips. Kissing her, he didn’t feel a spark like he thought he would. No chills were sent up and down his spine. What he found was comfort, comfort and an insane amount of heat.
Chapter Two
"Alex, are you going to eat those?" It was probably the second time she had asked him, but he still hadn’t responded. He was too interested in the scene playing out before him. Addison had been sitting alone for quite some time before Sloan decided to sit next to her. Her face immediately fell when she laid eyes on him.
Alex had been trying to figure out what they were talking about before a hand suddenly waved him back to his own table. Finally, he broke his gaze and looked into Izzie’s confused eyes.
"Hello, I’ve been trying to ask you if you were going to eat those" she pointed to his unopened bag of chips "for about five minutes, where were you?"
"No, I’m not going to eat them." He said as he threw her the bag of chips. She caught them and muttered a sarcastic, "Okay…" and opened the bag of chips.
Back at the other table Alex could tell that Addison was less than thrilled with the company next to her. They were shouting at one another. It was inaudible, but they were yelling at each other, Alex could tell by the hand gestures and expressions on their faces. What puzzled him was why Sloan looked equally angry with Addison as she did him.
What the hell is he angry with her for?
He knew it shouldn’t bother him. God, when the hell did it start bothering him? He cursed this woman who started to make him care so much. That was the thing, he did care, and when Sloan obviously told Addison to "go to hell". Alex wanted nothing more than to go over there and kick his ass.
"What are we looking at?" It was Christina who asked, as her and George joined the table. Alex could feel their eyes on him, but he refused to look away.
"What’s with him?" Christina asked, pointing at Alex with her uneaten banana. Izzie merely shrugged and whispered, "I think he misses the gynie squad." He could hear both George and Christina laugh.
"Shut up." Alex muttered as he finally broke his gaze and looked at the three of them.
"Seriously Alex, why are you so obsessed with Addison anyway?" Izzie asked, but before Alex had a chance at answering, Meredith walked up and slammed her tray on the table. "Do I snore?" She asked. All of them were trying their best not to laugh, even Alex as he silently thanked Meredith and all her problems.
--
"Karev, where the hell have you been? I had to get my own coffee this morning, not to mention I have two burn victims waiting for me."
Alex bit his tongue back and simply nodded. "Sorry sir." He paused a moment before asking, "Can I scrub in?" He hated the fact that his whole career laid in the hands of this arrogant jackass.
"No. What you can do is find my cell phone for me. I think I left it in one of the on-call rooms."
"Mark." Both Alex and Sloan turned at the sound of her voice. "Do you think it’s possible you can actually teach your intern something other than how to find a cell phone in a huge hospital?" Addison asked as she looked up from the chart she had been carrying.
Mark smiled in disbelief. "You’re defending him? You know what? Since you’re so intent on playing his guardian, you can have him for the day." With that, he walked away.
Both of them were left staring off in the direction Mark had taken off to. "I guess you’re my intern for the day." She said silently.
They both were silent for a minute before Alex spoke. "I sorry, about last night." He hated bringing it up, but he knew that it was in both their minds.
She held up a hand. "Don’t be. I was the one that let the situation get out of hand. So, I’m sorry." She pursed her lips and began looking over the chart in front of her.
Alex thought for a moment before saying, "I’m not."
Her head snapped up at his confession. "What?"
"Sorry. I know I said I was, but … I’m not. I wouldn’t have done anything differently."
She seemed lost for words. Her mouth hung open but the only thing that escaped was his name. "Alex …" She shook her head, as if she was on the verge of breaking down. She then looked in his eyes and he was right, she was on the verge, her tear stained eyes made it abundantly clear. "I can’t do this right now."
He took a step towards her and nodded. "I know. I don’t want to be one of those jerks that ruins your day, I don’t. That’s why I’m only going to say this, meet me at Joe’s tonight, after work."
"I …" She was about to object, but he stopped her before she had a chance to say no.
"Meet me at Joe’s and then let me take you to dinner."
He had no idea where this courage was coming from; all he knew was that his mouth had taken over and was saying everything that his heart had wanted to. And now, there was awkwardness. He knew she would say no, her lips were forming the word, and now all she had to do was say it.
She took a shaky breath in and thought about her next words.
Chapter Three
"I … can’t." She seemed to be struggling to say the words. As she said them however, her eyes never left his
He had expected her to say no. It was Addison Forbes Montgomery-once-Shepherd after all. She was classy, sophisticated, and gorgeous. Now she only portrayed one of those. Despite all her best efforts at being miserable, she was never anything short of beautiful. He wasn’t her type, Alex understood that, so when she shut him down he simply nodded and started walking away.
"Alex wait."
He turned and was finally able to take in the way she was standing. Both hands were now gripping the counter, as if it were her life support, also, her head hung low. She no longer exuded self-confidence as she once had. Alex’s brow furrowed with confusion, he barely recognized her.
Alex’s thoughts were interrupted however, when Addison whispered, "I’m sorry." Her gaze hung heavily on the floor in front of him. A few seconds later she looked up at him and repeated her unnecessary apology.
To say he was confused would be an understatement. Slowly, he walked towards her and stopped when he was but a few inches away. "What are you sorry about?" He asked softly.
Her eyes bore into his as she said, "I don’t want you to get mixed up with me."
He understood now, or at least he thought he did. In truth, he knew absolutely nothing about Addison.
"Would it help if I wanted to?"
Her brows furrowed as she asked, "But why? Why would anyone choose to get involved in a mess?"
He gave her a crooked smile and said confidently, "You’re not a mess."
She scoffed sarcastically, "Oh, I beg to differ."
Her head hung so low, that Alex had to actually bend over to look her in the eye. He looked through the red hair that had fallen out of her clip and into her face and said, "Let me take you to dinner."
From the spectator’s view, it looked as if they were about to kiss, but at that moment, Alex didn’t care if the nurses saw them.
Staring into his eyes, she seemed to be analyzing his facial features to see if he was serious or not. Once again, her eyes glanced towards his lips and Alex thought she actually was going to kiss him, but then she said, "Alright, but you’ll be regretting it later."
He laughed, trying to shake off how hot it had suddenly become "No doubt about it." He wish his voice didn’t sound too forced as he slowly backed away from her. His throat suddenly felt tight.
While flashing him a small smile she said, "You’re an interesting guy Karev."
"I think so." He said with a slight nod. Walking backwards, he looked at her as he said, "Joes, tonight at seven." He really didn’t want to leave, but he needed space. For some reason, he couldn’t think with her so close to him.
After he had turned she took in a deep breath and said, "Alright."
--
As she walked away she had to ask herself, what the hell am I doing? But despite questioning herself, she couldn’t mask the smile that was forming at the corners of her mouth. Her smile faded however when an all too familiar voice was heard behind her.
"What in the hell do you think you’re doing?" She almost laughed at having asked herself the same question, the only reason she didn't, was because he was asking the question.
She stopped, wishing he wasn't as angry as his voice sounded. Slowly, she turned and sighed, he was indeed mad. "Right now? I’m working."
Mark nodded and said, "So that’s what we call flirting with our interns these days huh? Interesting."
Her eyes widened and she took a step towards him. "You were spying on us? And we weren’t-" She stopped when curious glances made their way towards them. She took another step towards him and whispered, "We weren’t flirting … you know what? Why am I defending myself to you? You shouldn’t even have been there anyways."
"I forgot something, and it’s a good thing I did. You know, it’s pathetic really, that on this particular day, you manage to forget everything." He paused, then, "I’m glad you can go back to being happy Addison, really." She was all of a sudden overcome with a huge amount of guilt, though she wasn’t about to let Mark know.
He was about to walk away but Addison wouldn’t let him, she wasn’t about to let him have the last word. She swallowed her guilt and said, "Don’t you dare judge me. I spent years being unhappy, not days, not weeks, years. And now, I might actually have a chance at real happiness here. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing. But I’m not about to sit and let it pass me by without trying. So no, you don’t get to judge me." She would have stood there a second longer to watch his reaction, but at that exact moment she needed air. She turned and when she was out of his line of sight, she ran.
She didn’t think she’d ever moved so fast in her life. In the middle of running she thanked god that she had changed into her Nike’s, she didn’t want to imagine what she’d look like running in high heels. She ran so fast, she barely had time to register the many questioning glances from her fellow coworkers as she raced passed them.
Addison didn’t stop until she was outside. It was raining and she suddenly had an impulse to go out there and let the rain wash her away, but she didn’t. If she had to guess, she’d say it was about eight o’clock, and she really didn’t feel like spending the rest of the two hours working while dripping wet.
She bent over, trying but failing to catch her breath. Finally, she gave up and decided to sit against the cold cement wall of the hospital. Chills went down her spine as her back connected with the freezing wall. Taking an exhausted breath in, she decided to lie down. Placing both palms on her forehead she closed her eyes and wondered when her life had gotten so chaotic.
Chapter Four
"What are you doing?"
Addison’s eyes remained closed as she answered Callie. "Just trying to remind myself why I came to Seattle."
"So you have to lie on the ground to do that?" This time, Addison slowly removed her hands and looked up at a confused, Callie. A smile played delicately on her lips and Addison would have laughed herself at the situation, if she hadn’t been so miserable.
"Maybe." She answered and started to push herself up as Callie took a seat next to her.
"How long have you been out here?"
Addison shrugged, "I don’t know, not long. Why, what time is it?"
She looked down at her watch and answered, "Almost six."
Her head snapped towards Callie. "Really?" Seems I was way off.
Callie furrowed a brow and nodded. "Yeah."
They both were silent as the rain continued to pour. Some people found the sound of the rain to be loud, Addison thought it was peaceful and she wanted nothing more than to curl into bed and fall asleep to it’s lullaby.
"Any plans tonight?" Callie asked, interrupting her thoughts.
"Besides working?" And the date I can’t make, Addison thought to herself. She had completely forgotten she worked until ten when she had agreed to Alex’s offer. Fortunately for her though she was looking for a way of letting him down easy, she couldn’t go on a date with him, not now. Her life was a puzzle and she didn’t need to add one more piece to the mess.
"Um I just checked and it says you’re off at six."
"What day is it?" Addison asked quickly.
"… Friday … Okay, now I’m starting to worry about you."
Addison sighed as she brought a weary hand to her head. "I’ve been so caught up with the date of today that I’ve completely forgotten which day of the week it is." Guess I can make that date after all, she thought tiredly.
Callie watched Addison’s actions carefully and finally she asked, "Are you okay?"
Resting her chin on her knees she shook her head and stared blankly in front of her. "No … I’m not."
Callie hesitated before finally placing a comforting hand on her friend’s back. "If you want to talk, I’m all ears."
Shaking her head, Addison broke her gaze and stared into Callie’s reassuring eyes. "I’m sorry, it’s not you I just … not tonight."
"Alright, but whenever you’re ready."
"I know, and thank you for that." She gave Callie a small smile before deciding to get up and go on with tonight.
--
Alex wasn’t the tie wearing type; he was more of the jeans and a t-shirt kind of guy. But while he got ready he couldn’t stop thinking about what Addison would wear and how he couldn’t compete.
"What the hell are you doing?" He yelled at his reflection. He was angry. He was angry at Mark for making her feel like crap, he was angry that he couldn’t get within five feet of her and couldn’t think, he was angry that he couldn’t make her happy.
For a long while he started at his mirror image, then with a shake of his head he changed his tie for the second time.
Taking a deep breath in, he finally made a decision.
--
6:50
Alex couldn’t remember the last time he took a drink of his beer. He remembered ordering it at around six, but he didn’t actually remember taking a drink. Looking at it, he realized that he hadn’t even touched it.
The wonderful thing about Joe’s bar was that there was a bell on the door. The most annoying thing about Joe’s bar was that there was a bell on the door.
Alex couldn’t help but jump every time that damn bell rung.
--
6:55
Addison sat on the end of her bed, fully ready, gripping a small article of clothing that her baby never had a chance to wear. The small Yankee’s onesie was meant for a child of two years. Addison laughed at Mark’s incapability to even buy the right size. She wasn’t even aware that she was crying until she felt the pool of tears around her eyes threatening to fall. In all her life she hadn’t cried so much as she did that entire week, not even when Derek had left her. She had been too numb back then to cry.
It wasn’t like she had wanted a baby with Mark; she just wanted a baby in general. She wanted a chance at happiness, a chance at having a real family. She couldn’t see herself opening Christmas presents with Mark and their child. She was envious of all the mothers that came to the hospital seeking her help, it was ridiculous, and she knew it.
She shook her head as she brought herself back to the present by looking at her clock. The numbers were hazy and she realized then that her vision was blurred and that her eyes stung. She quickly wiped her eyes and read the time.
Five minutes.
Sighing she reached for the phone and dialed Alex’s number, intending to tell him she couldn’t make it, however on the first ring she hung up.
--
She was late. Alex was now the type of person who wore ties for people who didn’t even decide to show up. Shaking his head he couldn’t believe his attending had stood him up.
Pushing his beer aside, he called Joe over and said, "Joe, I’m going to need something a lot harder than this."
--
She was late. For the past five minutes Addison stared vacantly at the clock watching as time passed her by. She was shaken out of her daze when her cell phone vibrated against her leg. Without even looking to see who it was she answered. "Hello?"
"So I see your intern is all by himself." Mark’s smug voice was heard on the other end.
Suddenly Addison was snapped back into reality as her anger boiled. "Mark where are you?" She stood up; she was unable to sit when she was angry.
"I was thirsty so I thought I’d throw a few back, why?" He asked innocently. She could practically see his smirk as he talked.
"Mark why are you doing this?" She hated that her voice was failing her.
"Why am I doing what?"
"Mark … I’m not going to do this, I’m not. I’m not going to play this game with you, not now."
"Is that because you’re late for your da-" She knew what he was about to say, but she didn’t need to hear it, instead she slammed the phone down, hopefully hard enough for it to be heard on the other end.
Chapter Five
"This seat taken?" Alex cringed at the voice asking those words. He turned and was met by Mark Sloan.
"Nah, I guess not." He answered regretfully. He had wanted to say no, he was going to say no, but instead said yes, all rational thoughts thrown out the window.
"Joe another one of these please." Mark yelled, holding up an empty bottle. Alex couldn’t put his finger on it, but he could tell a difference in his voice, something troublesome, not that he cared in the least bit. Alex actually hoped Mark felt like he looked, because looking at him now, he must have felt like crap.
Alex sighed as Joe brought Mark his beer, he’d given up on Addison coming about ten minutes ago. It was now seven-thirty and Alex sat with someone whom he’d thought he’d never sit with, or even wanted to sit with.
"You don’t know a lot about her do you?" Mark asked suddenly, completely out of the blue which had caught Alex off guard.
Alex raised a quizzical brow and asked, "What-what do you mean?"
"You know damn well what I mean. Addison." He answered in a slightly more offensive tone than he had before.
Alex was speechless. He didn’t know if he was defending Addison or trying to keep Alex away from her to benefit himself. Alex also didn’t understand why Mark was even asking him about Addison, for all Mark knew she was his attending, nothing more.
"All I’m saying is that we have history, history that you don’t know anything about. And I just find it funny that on this day, you decide to ask her out." He stared at him curiously. "Unless, you somehow knew what today was?"
"No …" His voice trailed as his confusion grew. What was today? Alex was starting to wonder if the confrontation between the two during lunch had anything to do with what Mark was talking about. Alex then thought about Addison’s weary stance earlier that day and how it looked as if someone had completely drained her. What was today? He asked himself again, as all sorts of possibilities ran through his head.
"Good." Mark said, interrupting his thoughts. Getting up he took a ten-dollar bill out of his wallet and placed it on the counter. Before leaving he said, "Good talking with you Karev, I just might let you scrub in on my surgeries after all." Alex watched as he left, wondering what the hell he was talking about and if he even wanted in on his surgeries.
--
Alex wasn’t drunk; he didn’t get drunk, not easily at least. He walked out of the bar at nine wondering if he’d have felt any better if he were drunk. He didn’t think it’d hurt this much to have her not show up. This woman had completely corrupted his mind but strangely it was in a way Alex wasn’t completely dissatisfied with. He liked thinking about the way her hair fell delicately out of her clip and the way it brushed against her perfect lips.
Alex was thinking about her lips and was going to completely pass her by except that her shampoo would have made it impossible. It was some kind of fruit that Alex couldn’t identify even if he tried. He stopped and turned to find half her form hidden in the shadows from the buildings.
"You came." He said simply, hoping that his voice didn’t sound as constricted as it felt.
Slowly she stepped out of the shadows and nodded. "I did."
As she stepped into the light Alex saw that she had indeed dressed up for their date and that she looked amazing. His eyes traveled from her gorgeous red hair down her slender figure and landed on her perfect legs.
Addison smiled as she tried to hide the heat that had all of a sudden crept into her cheeks. Alex stepped towards her, still eyeing her and said, "Wow … this almost makes up for you being late. You look …" He shook his head, unable to come up with a word to describe how incredible she looked.
"I’m sorry … for being late. I was going to come, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t want to, because I did, but then … something came up, and I … I’m sorry."
She was rambling, which Alex found charming, but what she was rambling about had him worried. "Don’t apologize. I actually had an interesting conversation with Sloan."
"Mark?" Addison asked as her head snapped up at his name. He didn’t want to bring it up, but his curiosity was burning him alive and he couldn’t help it. Looking at her face in that moment though, Alex wished he hadn’t brought it up. For some strange reason, she looked scared, as if all wounds had been exposed to the world.
If Alex could choose a super power, it would be to go back in time. "I’m sorry." He said, hoping that it would be enough to stop the tears in her eyes.
The tears had stopped, but one sniffle made it past. "What did he-Did he say anything?"
Alex shook his head, "No. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought him up."
"No it’s fine, it’s just … complicated right now. Today especially." There it was again, today. Alex wished she were comfortable enough to tell him what all this today crap was about.
Silence, then, "I’m sorry for ruining our date."
"Hey, the day’s not over yet. I mean most places are closed but I can whip something up at my house."
She thought for a moment before saying, "Yeah, I’d like that."
--
"Well this is it." He said as he pointed out the small condo he called home.
She eyed the condo thoughtfully and nodded, "It’s nice."
"Don’t lie. It’s livable." He said, slight humor in his voice.
She smiled and smacked him playfully in the chest. "I wasn’t lying, it is nice. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder Karev."
He smiled when she addressed him by his last name. "Said from a beautiful woman." He said facing her. He hadn’t realized how close they were until they reached the door. They stared at each other’s faces, and Alex asked himself why he had been such an ass to her when he had first met her. She was leaning into him and their eyes traveled crazily, hers onto his lips and his onto hers until finally they rested upon each other’s eyes. Alex didn’t know who leaned in first, probably both at the same time, but the next thing he knew their lips collided. Their kiss was slow at first, but intensified by each growing second. Both found that they wanted more and Alex quickly rummaged for his keys, never taking his lips off of Addison’s.
Opening his door had never been more interesting, and thinking about it later, he’ll probably never look at it the same way again. From Addison’s shifting weight, to having his eyes closed, he didn’t know how he orchestrated opening the door, but surprisingly the door had managed to open.
Keys fell from his hands and they took their rightful place on her hips as he led her into the living room. She quickly kicked the door closed and Alex didn’t know if he found anything sexier.
Pushing her against the closed door his lips traveled from hers to her chin, then to her neck, she moaned against his lips and the vibrations she sent made him smile.
His coat was the first thing to go. Their lips pulled apart momentarily while she impatiently pulled the tie off of him. She threw it to the side, and it quickly joined his coat.
Her arms rested comfortably on his shoulders as his hands slowly traveled up her side and finally reached the zipper of her dress. She closed her eyes as the contact of his hands sent shivers down her spine. Little by little he undid her dress and later it would join the ever-growing pile of clothes.
Chapter Six
"What was I thinking?" Addison wanted to scream at herself as she opened her eyes to find Alex’s naked body beside her. She never thought she’d be the one who slept with inappropriate men, first Mark, now Alex. She thought about her life and all of its many complexities as she slowly crawled out of Alex’s bed, thankful that she didn’t wake him in the process.
Once she was safely out of his bed, taking a sheet with her, she began scanning the floor for her dress. A tiny layer of light escaped through the curtains which gave her enough of a lamp to see her dress lying not so innocently under Alex’s shirt and tie.
She picked the shirt up and glanced at the man who went out of his way to dress up for her. Despite her growing protests she realized that she could care for him. She quickly shook her head at the thought; she couldn’t bring herself to drag someone else into her mess of a life, even if the sex had been great.
She put the shirt back and while slipping her dress on, hit her elbow on his dresser. She cried out in pain, but stopped herself when she saw Alex stir. She placed her hand over her mouth until he stopped moving. Sighing a breath of relief that she hadn’t wakened him, she slowly tiptoed out of the room, and finally out of his house.
--
Addison had managed to avoid Alex for the most part of the day. She turned corners whenever he so much as looked her way. Guilt shook her as she pressed her back against the door to her office.
The rest of her day was spent mostly in the OR, that is until Alex pulled her into the stairwell, looking as angry as she had expected him to.
Looking into his eyes, she could see that as angry as he was, he was equally hurt. "You left." He started. "When I woke up, you were gone."
"Alex…" It seemed like a plea as his name rolled off her tongue, a plea for him to not put her through this right then.
"No. You left, and I know why you left, because you thought it was a mistake right? You sleeping with me, it was mistake." His stare was intense, and Addison could practically feel the pain he emitted through his voice. Once Alex was finished with what he was saying, he turned to walk away, but for some reason, she found herself reaching out to grab him.
"Alex." He stopped, but refused to turn around, so she went around to meet his eyes. "I’m sorry. I can’t begin to say how sorry I am … I-" she shook her head, unable to express what she was feeling.
"I get it alright, you’re hot and everything, but you’re not attracted to me. That’s fine. There are plenty more fish in the sea that are just as hot." Casting her one last glance, he removed his hand from her grasp and left, leaving Addison feeling somewhat rejected.
--
Alex stared at the surgery taking place before him with nothing more than mild interest. His thoughts were solely on the woman who made his mind reel. He hadn’t meant to hurt Addison by what he had said; he was angry, angry that she seemed embarrassed by sleeping with him.
"Okay, what is wrong with him?" Izzie’s voice asked the other interns around her. Alex suddenly broke his thoughts and looked at Izzie. "Nothing." He said disbelievingly.
Izzie raised an eyebrow as she said, "Seriously Alex, there are worse things than admitting you miss gynie."
Alex’s head shot up. "What? I don’t miss working with Addison, wh-why would you say that I miss working with Addison?" He rambled defensively.
Izzie eyed him, as well as Meredith and Christina and Izzie said, "First of all, I didn’t say that you missed working with Addison, and second of all when did you start calling Dr. Montgomery, Addison?" The last part of Izzie’s question came more rushed than the beginning which had Alex feeling like he was being interrogated.
They all eyed him suspiciously until Christina, clearly over waiting for Alex to explain, asked, "Speaking of Montgomery, did you hear about her running through the hospital like a madwoman?"
This produced an astonished "What?" from both Meredith and Izzie. Alex however looked at them with furrowed brows and asked a serious, "What are you talking about, when?"
Christina looked at him curiously while answering, "Yesterday I think, why so interested?"
"Yeah Alex?" Izzie asked. Meredith merely chuckled at the turn of events.
He looked nervously at the women in front of him. "No reason, it’s just she seemed weird yesterday."
They seemed to critique him before Izzie agreed. "You know, she did seem weird yesterday." Her eyes however, remained on Alex as he said, "I just remembered I had to find someone."
After he was gone, Izzie muttered under her breath, "He’s acting weird too."
--
"You couldn’t go through with it could you?"
Addison sighed heavily as she removed her glasses. "Mark, you really have the worst timing. Couldn’t you just respect the fact that I don’t want to talk to you?"
"Couldn’t you just respect the fact that I do?" He replied smugly.
"Please." For the fist time that day, she faced him, looking him straight in the eye.
Instead of granting her wish, he asked, "So what was it that made you change your mind? It wouldn’t be because of which day it was would it?"
Any idiot could see that she was on the verge of crying, Mark though took it as his chance to get back at her.
"Dr. Montgomery, we need you." Addison turned at the voice of Callie and the words that saved her from nearly breaking down in front of her colleagues. Without so much as muttering a simple ‘good-bye’ to Mark, she walked with Callie.
"So where is this surgery?" She asked, as she tried her best to compose herself. Instead of answering, Callie pulled her into an on-call room. "Hey what do you think you’re-"
Once they were inside, Callie cut her off by saying, "Spill."
Sighing, Addison sat on the edge of one of the beds. "There’s nothing to-"
Cutting her off once again, Callie said, "That’s bullcrap, and I’m saying this as a friend, I’m worried about you. Just this morning I heard a rumor about a crazy woman running through the halls, and now I find you almost crying while talking with Sloan. So?" Sitting herself next to Addison, Callie readily awaited her answer.
"Thank you … for being so … demanding as a friend. But I’m fine, really." Callie gave her a look saying that she obviously didn’t believe her and Addison gave in. "Okay, I’m not fine. I’m even more not-fine today."
"Oh no. What’d you do?"
"Alright, but no judging. In this case, you aren’t one to judge because you’re doing the exact same thing with O’Malley." She said, needing a verbal okay before she continued.
"What do you … oh." Callie said, as her eyes grew wide. "Oh!"
Addison quickly shushed her.
"So you? And an intern? Who?"
Casting a shameful glance downwards she answered, "Karev."
"I knew it!" Callie said excitedly. She stopped however when she saw the look on Addison’s face. "Oh. This wasn’t one of those drunken mistakes right? Because I seriously don’t see you jumping onto the bandwagon."
Groaning Addison shook her head. "No, unfortunately there was no alcohol within the vicinity. I was perfectly sober, except…"
"Except?" Callie asked, urging her to continue.
Addison faced her and said, "Except for the fact that I slept with Alex Karev."
Chapter Seven
"Don’t make mistakes." Addison whispered to Laura, the tiny baby whom she had been monitoring for the week. Wiping away a tear that threatened to fall, she thought about the mistake she had made that had unraveled a series of mistakes. Mark Sloan was at the base of those mistakes. He was the foundation on which her mistakes were built on. Alex Karev was soon becoming a close second.
"I thought I’d find you here." His voice came from behind her, causing her to jump in response.
"Alex." She said, afterwards taking in a deep breath.
Walking towards her, Alex could swear that he saw remnants of tears. "Have you been crying?" He found himself asking.
Laughing she shook her head, which despite herself, invited more tears. "Shocking isn’t it? I’m crying for what … the millionth time this week?"
He watched her struggle with herself before finally walking over and placing both hands on her arms, holding her in place, their faces only inches away from the other’s. "Hey, look at me." She fought him for a second until she rested her eyes securely on his. "I don’t hold it against you … leaving. I get it, you regretted it, I didn’t, but hey? That’s just me." Looking at him, Addison could tell that he was serious and regardless of what her brain was telling her, she leaned forward, capturing his lips in hers.
Alex’s brain on the other hand, was going into overdrive. He responded to her advance, and even welcomed it. That was, until he broke it off. "Addison wait."
She could practically feel his burning gaze on her, but she refused to open her eyes.
"Whatever had you saying yes to going out with me just happened again didn’t it?"
Slowly, she opened her eyes. "I hate him for making me feel like this, but then again I don’t blame him." She explained softly and she could tell that Alex was confused, but he let her continue anyways. "Every time I look at him I’m reminded of what I could have had … not with him because he would have made a terrible father." She took a deep breath in, then "I just … I need clarity, but you’re making that impossible."
Alex studied her as he tried to process everything she was telling him. He understood what she was saying about her and Mark, although he thought he did, he hoped, on the other hand, that he was wrong. He looked intently into the eyes of the woman before him, the very woman who had him questioning everything around him.
Her eyes left his and traveled to the newborn, whose life had barely just begun. "I have a way of sabotaging my own life."
"No, Mark has a way of interfering with your life and making you feel like crap. He’s good at that. You just, you need to fight him. I’m here, to help you fight him." Alex was never a man of words, more of a man of action, who rose to the occasion with fists rather than words of negotiation. He was also never one to openly display what he was feeling; she was quickly changing that in him.
"I had an abortion. Nine months ago." She said, her voice was filled with pain. Her eyes found their way back to his as she continued. "I could have had a child this week. A child …" A smile crept up on her, but it was a sad smile and as quickly as it had come, it vanished. "He was cheating on me with every woman he came into contact with, he thought I didn’t know, but I knew. Derek also found someone new … what makes you think that you won’t?"
Alex didn’t know what to say. He watched painfully as the woman he cared for poured her heart out to him and obviously waited for him to say something to comfort her fears. He’d never been in this situation before, and he’d never found himself caring for her more, than he had then.
"I won’t." He said, and as expected she quickly turned her head away in dismay. As if to ensure his feelings, he quickly grabbed hold of her arms and wouldn’t let up until she looked back at him. "Listen to me, I won’t. Those guys are idiots who never saw what that they had in front of them all along. I’ll admit, I used to be one of those guys, but then I opened my eyes, or rather you did. Now … I can’t help but look at you and think of how great you are and hope that even for a second, you would glance my way, because even then, I’d be the luckiest man in the world. I’m not saying that I want you to marry me, I just want you to consider the possibility of seeing me the way I see you."
Her throat had never been tighter than in that moment of declaration. Alex Karev was continuing to surprise her. She swallowed the lump that had formed itself during his speech and slowly her eyes traveled to where her lips wanted to be again, on his. Alex stood in anticipation over her next words, but they never came, instead he was slowly pulled forward as his lips met hers.
Her hands traveled up to the back of Alex’s head and she held him in place, not letting him interject on this kiss.
His hands however, fought their way under her white coat and rested just barely under her bra strap. He rubbed her back eagerly as he felt her tongue fight entrance into his mouth, without a second thought, he gave her access, and soon his tongue joined hers.
Chapter Eight
"I think … maybe … we … should … stop." Addison managed to get in between trying to fight off Alex’s eager lips. She didn’t want to stop, it was just that they were in proximity to the nurse’s station, and she didn’t feel like being the latest gossip. The nurses had enough on their plate, what with George and Callie making out after his dad’s surgery and all.
That’s something I probably need to talk to him about… she thought, thinking about how she wanted to keep their newfound relationship under wraps.
"Yeah." Alex said breathlessly as he slowly pulled away. Addison looked at him, truly amazed that she was kissing the very intern she had once hated; thinking about it now, there probably had been an enormous amount of sexual tension, it was only now escalating. Suddenly, a smile snuck its way onto her face.
"What?" He asked, fighting the urge to smile himself. The thought of smiling faded however, when he was brought back to the pain she had just confessed to him, leaving him wondering if her smile was genuine, or a forced smile she was putting on for his behalf.
"Nothing … I just, I never thought I’d be kissing Alex Karev." Addison answered, and suddenly Alex found it hard not to smile as he looked at her and thought the exact same thing.
"I can top that, I’d never thought I’d be kissing Addison Forbes Montgomery." It was true too; the superior woman was almost at the bottom of his list, as far as people he thought he’d end up with went. She was first on an entirely different kind of list.
She made a face, bringing him out of his dirty thoughts, and said, "Oh don’t say my middle name."
"Why?" Alex asked, laughing a little at the face she was making.
"Because, it sounds so editorial, like I’m some kind of ice queen with a stick up my ass."
Alex couldn’t help but laugh at that. "But you’re not."
"Oh-ho, I know what you were saying about me when I first arrived here." She brought a finger up to her mouth as she pretended to think. "Oh yes, Satan wasn’t it? I also heard Satan’s whore muttered throughout the halls."
Alex cringed. "You heard that huh?"
"Mm-hmm, yeah."
"Well if it makes you feel any better, I never thought Satan’s whore would be this hot." Alex said with a smile as he leaned in and gave her a small kiss, hoping that would suffice. It also gave him another reason for him to once again kiss those flawless lips.
"Yeah, you’re going to have a lot of making up to do." She said, as she opened her eyes after the kiss, now realizing how much she liked to feel his lips against hers, but as much as she liked kissing him, others wouldn’t be so welcoming at the sight.
"Really?" He asked, placing both arms around her. "I’m looking forward to it." He said as he leaned in again for another kiss, but this time, was stopped by Addison’s finger. "The key is being discreet Karev. I don’t want to be another Meredith and Derek."
Alex thought about that for a moment and then agreed, understanding why she would feel that way. "I don’t either." He said, with mild disgust.
"So…" She started.
"The sex is going to have to wait until after work? Got it." He said smugly, loving that he was now able to talk to her this way.He is persistent,
"What? No sex? You’re killing me here." She would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been serious; the tone of his voice displayed nothing of the sort, but by his face she could tell that he was disappointed.
"No, I just thought we kind of rushed into that. I’d like to get to know you first before jumping into bed … again."
"Alright." He sighed. "So this means I won’t be seeing that lacey number you were sporting for a while?" His smile somehow find its way back onto his face as he pictured what she had been wearing.
Closing her eyes, she cringed. "Oh god … I’m sorry about that." She mentally kicked herself for having gone overboard, but she had wanted to dress up even if she hadn’t planned on taking her clothes off.
"Don’t be, it’ll be forever burned into my memory, and for that, I thank you."
Smiling, she shook her head. "You really are something."
Both fell into a comfortable silence, finding reassurance in each other’s eyes. Alex looked at her and wondered if her mind was still plagued with thoughts from the past. He could only hope that in the future she would somehow forget her afflicted history, and find a way to truly be happy again, Alex didn’t care how long that would take either, he would wait.
"Are you going to be alright?" He found himself asking the very thing that was troubling him.
She laughed and nodded. "I think I am, I just need to remind myself…" Her voice trailed.
"What?"
"… not to get hurt."
Chapter Nine
Alex was at a loss for words. He didn't want to promise her that she wouldn't get hurt, because the future was undecided, and unexpected events were just around the corner. The only thing he could promise was that he himself would never do anything to hurt her, but he felt that saying so wouldn't give her enough reassurance, and that thought not only saddened him, but disappointed him as well. Without so much as a hesitation, he quickly wrapped his arms around her protectively and gave her a gentle squeeze, hoping this would suffice to calm her growing fears of being hurt.
He then realized how dry his throat seemed. "Listen I-" he swallowed before continuing, "I'm not-"
Suddenly Meredith walked through the doors, stopping when she saw the close proximity in which Alex and Addison were standing, and the fact that Alex's hands were tightly bound around Addison's figure. "Dr. Montgomery, I'm sorry to barge in but, the Chief wanted to talk to you." She said lightly, as she tried to avert her eyes from the couple.
Addison nodded and hoped that her tears were dried up enough so that Meredith wouldn't see. The last thing she wanted was for her ex-husbands girlfriend to see her crying, okay next to last. "Thank you Dr. Grey." She said, trying to shrug off Alex's arms. He was unwilling to at first, but after seeing the pleading look in her eyes, let go. The last thing Meredith saw before she left was the awkward exchange between the two.
Addison sighed, knowing full well that the rumors were probably already starting to spread. She wanted to be angry at Alex for carelessly displaying his affections for her in such close proximity to those who might see, but found that she couldn't. His wanting to comfort her somewhat helped, and she was grateful to him for that.
She then noticed the change in his stature, his arms were crossed and he was looking at her expectantly. "I guess you should go see the Chief, I'll update you on her" her said, nodding towards the tiny infant who's room they were in "when you come back Dr. Montgomery." She flinched at the way 'Dr. Montgomery' left his lips. She then watched as his retreating form walked through the door.
She felt horrible for the way she shrugged out of his endearing embrace, but she felt that Alex of all people should have understood her wanting to keep their relationship under wraps, after all he agreed that he didn't want to become another 'Meredith and Derek'.
"This is going to be harder than I thought." She muttered under her breath, thinking back to the way he looked before he left, and how rejected he seemed.
--
"Alex."
Alex heard his name being called from behind him, but he continued to walk. He knew what she wanted to talk about, but he refused to to talk, let alone to her.
"Alex." Meredith called for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "Alex wait." She ran to catch up to him.
Finally, he stopped, leaving Meredith almost crashing into him when she caught up. "What?" He asked forcefully, as he whipped around to face Meredith, and found that she was only inches away from him.
She jumped a little in unexpectedness at having him whip around so fast and also the way he looked. He noticed her being uncomfortable, so he collected himself before saying "What?" again, this time a little more softly.
"About what I just saw-" Meredith started hesitantly, but was interrupted by Alex brushing her off.
"Was nothing." He finished for her. "It wasn't anything." He said bitterly.
"Okay..."
He quickly ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Was there something besides that that you wanted?" He knew that he was probably scaring Meredith, but at the moment, he didn't care. Addison wouldn't let him in, and it was the most painstakingly depressing thing, and not only that, she seemed ashamed of the feelings she held for him. That much was obvious when she literlly pushed him off of her.
Meredith surprised him by seeming a little unfazed by his curt remark, and what surprised him more was when she placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sad smile. "I'm here, you know. If you ever want to talk." She whispered so that only he could hear her.
His face softened as he nodded. They were the same, him and Meredith. They were both damaged, both 'dark and twisty' despite his better judgment, he knew it. But what was worse was that not only was he damaged, but Addison was as well.
This relationship is going to get complicated, fast, he thought.
--
"Chief you wanted to see me."
Richard looked up from the article he was reading and sighed. "Sit down Addison." He said, as he gently pulled his reading glasses off and placed them on his desk.
Addison obeyed and sat herself in the seat directly facing the Chief's desk. Out of habit, she crossed her legs and placed her folded hands in her lap.
The Chief looked tired, worn out, and exhausted all at the same time. Addison hadn't realized how much the race to be the next Chief had taken out of her old friend, he looked as if he was about to throw in the towel, which made her wonder even more as to why he asked to see her.
He was silent for a moment before saying, "I just spoke with Barbara." Addison's face fell at the name, Barbara had been the one conducting the interview to find the next Chief.
"And?" She asked nervously, although she knew full well what was coming.
"How do you think your interview went?" He asked, and Addison thought that was so like Richard, to reverse the roles on her as a way of escaping out of saying the words himself.
She cleared her throat as her eyes traveled to the small area in between his desk and her chair. "Not as well as I would have liked it to." She answered sadly, remembering that that was the day that she had almost kissed Alex, although there were many occasions when she thought about kissing him, but it was that night she had seriously considered it, it was also the day that she found out that Mark had slept with one of the nurses, although that was nothing new. What hurt was was that once again, she was being rejected, thrown aside, alone. He had broken their sixty days of no sex to sleep with some bright-eyed nurse who had barely turned twenty-three. He had given up a chance at being with her, to sleep with another woman, again. So, as anyone could have imagined, during the interview she was plagued with uncertainty, and doubt, and last but not least she felt as if her self confidence was dangling on a string ready to break.
Richard pursed his lips and stood up, and before she knew it, he was beside her with his hand gripping hers. "Addison, look at me."
She fought against tears, and knew that if she looked at him they were on dangerous territory of falling. She considered Richard as her second father, and she'd be damned if she cried in front of her father.
"Addison." His voice was stern, but also affectionate, something she loved about him. But she also found it annoying how he used that voice as a way of persuading her into doing what he wanted.
Slowly, she obeyed, and blinked as a tear escaped her and trailed lightly down her cheek.
"It's not over." He said in a determined voice. "You're still in this. You just have to try twice as hard."
She nodded, but quickly stopped as another tear followed the path left by the other.
"You're smart, and strong, and you need to pull it together if you want to win this." He said as he gently squeezed her hand.
"I need this." She said softly and she quickly saw Richards face sadden as the grip on her hand loosened.
He was quiet for a moment before saying, "Then we may have a problem."
Pairing: Addison/Alex
Alright Chapter Nine is the newest chapter. I used Damien Rice for this chapter (to give me inspiration :P)
Oh and it seems that LJ has a tendency at mixing up things in my stories and putting things into italics that I don't want in italics so ... I'm sorry if things seem a little out of place. I tried fixing it, but still some things might be out of place just to forewarn you.
Chapter One
"Pour me another one." It was a more of a plea than a demand, especially coming from her. Head bowed, she seemed fixated on the many shot glasses sitting in front of her.
He watched her down what seemed to be the sixth shot that night and wondered how drunk she really was. He smiled when he thought about how much she was going to later wish she hadn’t taken that last shot. His smile faded however, when he thought about why she was taking that last shot. He hadn’t seen her all day instead he was busy running coffee errands for none other than Mark Sloan.
He shook his head, trying to shake off today’s tiresome events. His attention was pulled back to her as she repeated it yet again. "Pour me another one Joe." He missed that sultry voice of hers, now however it was somewhat slurred. Nevertheless, he missed it and hearing it now made him realize this now more than ever.
From where he was sitting, he could see Joe sigh heavily and place a hand on hers as he said, "Don’t you think you’ve had enough Addison?" He looked sympathetically at her, and Alex couldn’t blame him, Addison was obviously trying to drown her sorrows. The only thing she was going to drown was herself, or want to, the next day when she would wakeup to the hangover from hell.
She pulled her hand out from under his and said in a slurred speech, "I haven’t had enough until I’ve forgotten. Forgotten about the slutty panties and …" She paused as she was unexpectedly overcome by a rush of emotions. She seemed to be fighting not to cry, but it was a losing battle.
The air was filled with an unrecognizable Dave Matthew’s Band song, which didn’t seem to match Addison’s miserable position. Alex watched as Joe patted her hand and turned to help the next customer. Eyes closed, she swayed to the music gently. Alex knew her actions weren’t meant to be seductive, but they sure as hell weren’t helping him want to rush over there any less. He traced the rim of his beer glass absentmindedly as he continued to watch her, until finally, she stopped as the song ended. Another song came on by a modern artist, one Alex didn’t know. He stared at the beer in front of him and downed its remaining contents before suddenly approaching her. He didn’t know why, but he felt compelled to be next to her.
Before he knew what he was doing he was asking if he could join her. Without even glancing at him she muttered a "sure." He was somewhat hurt by her lack of a better response, but quickly shrugging it off, he joined her.
Her eyes stared absentmindedly on one of the half full shot glasses in front of her. Alex followed her gaze and asked, "Aren’t you going to drink it?" He offered as a way of breaking her out of her trance.
"What’s the point?" She asked tiredly. "It doesn’t help…"
"What would?"
Addison broke her gaze and finally looked into Alex’s eyes for the first time that night. "I don’t know." She said truthfully. Her eyes once again fell upon her semi empty glass, but Alex’s remained on her. She chuckled lightly and said, "I’m drunk, but not too drunk not to notice you checking me out."
Alex smiled. "You’re right. I am checking you out. Is that wrong?"
She looked up at him. "No, as a newly divorced woman it’s … it’s actually comforting." Her tone seemed to have a sad underlining to it. She cleared her throat as if the moment had gotten too awkward for her and she changed the subject. "So, Karev-"
"It’s Alex." He said, cutting her off.
"What?"
"We’re not at work, so it’s Alex." He said smirking.
She smiled. "Okay … I forgot what I was about to say." She said laughing a little. Alex also laughed and said, "You must be drunk."
"Hey!" She said with a pointed finger, "I can hold my liquor thank you very much."
"The shaky finger disagrees with said statement." He said smugly.
She glared at him in a joking manner. "That may be so." She grew quiet and Alex sensed she was venturing back to her gloomy state.
"Hey." Alex said as he leaned towards her and smiled gently.
"Hey yourself." She said, returning his smile, although hers was more reserved than his had been. She looked up at him and shook her head. "What are you doing here?"
Alex shrugged he sensed that question was coming; fortunately he had an answer ready. "Long day. Plus Sloan was being a jerk again."
"You’re telling me." Addison muttered.
He paused, thinking he heard her say something, but she only looked at him and asked, "What’d he do this time?"
"Besides making me his own personal delivery boy? Nothing. And I mean that too, absolutely no surgeries."
"I’m sorry." She said, in a somewhat slurred tongue, she seemed to mean it though.
"It’s not your fault he’s an ass." He said reassuringly.
"Yeah." She sighed. Alex could sense a bit of disbelief in her tone.
"So as long as we’re talking about our days, how was yours?" It seemed unnatural to ask her this, even to him, and he could see that she thought so too by the way she was looking at him. "Really Karev? You honestly care how my day went."
"Yes, I can honestly say I do." He didn’t even bother telling her to call him Alex again. In truth, he liked the way his last name rolled off her tongue, no sense changing it now.
She was taken aback, he could tell. Her mouth hung slightly, which Alex found to be quite hot. She smiled, not a fake smile, a genuine smile, but it quickly faded once she answered. "My day … was fine. I mean it was long, but it was alright."
"Seriously?" He asked her sarcastically. "You seriously expect me to buy that crap?"
"What? It was fine. Now, I’m not so sure about." She said smiling at him.
He nodded, "Alright, I’ll take that hit. I can leave right now you know." He said as he pretended to get up. Addison placed a hand on his arm to stop him. "No." She said, rather too quickly. "Don’t go." Alex stopped and turned around to face her, trying but failing to hide how amused he was by the situation. He sat back down, but her hand remained clasped to his arm, he didn’t bother saying anything about it.
Alex didn’t know when, but somehow Joe managed to place another shot glass in front of her, one that she was now downing. She slammed the glass on the bar and it made a rough clank against the hard wood. He watched her, mesmerized by her actions. Without even looking at him she said, "You’re doing it again."
"What?"
"The staring thing." She said, this time while looking at him.
"I’m just trying to understand why Shepherd and Sloan gave you up. Besides the fact that they’re idiots."
She gave a drunken laugh. "Funny Karev … real funny."
Alex shook his head. "No, I mean it. If I had someone half as great as you, I wouldn’t give her up without a fight." There was lingering eye contact and he didn’t know the exact moment until it happened, but her face was but inches away from his, his eyes looking directly into hers. Her eyes left his, but for only a second as she glanced at his lips. He knew this wasn’t the place, but right then, he really couldn’t care less. He took his moment as he closed the gap between their lips. Kissing her, he didn’t feel a spark like he thought he would. No chills were sent up and down his spine. What he found was comfort, comfort and an insane amount of heat.
Chapter Two
"Alex, are you going to eat those?" It was probably the second time she had asked him, but he still hadn’t responded. He was too interested in the scene playing out before him. Addison had been sitting alone for quite some time before Sloan decided to sit next to her. Her face immediately fell when she laid eyes on him.
Alex had been trying to figure out what they were talking about before a hand suddenly waved him back to his own table. Finally, he broke his gaze and looked into Izzie’s confused eyes.
"Hello, I’ve been trying to ask you if you were going to eat those" she pointed to his unopened bag of chips "for about five minutes, where were you?"
"No, I’m not going to eat them." He said as he threw her the bag of chips. She caught them and muttered a sarcastic, "Okay…" and opened the bag of chips.
Back at the other table Alex could tell that Addison was less than thrilled with the company next to her. They were shouting at one another. It was inaudible, but they were yelling at each other, Alex could tell by the hand gestures and expressions on their faces. What puzzled him was why Sloan looked equally angry with Addison as she did him.
What the hell is he angry with her for?
He knew it shouldn’t bother him. God, when the hell did it start bothering him? He cursed this woman who started to make him care so much. That was the thing, he did care, and when Sloan obviously told Addison to "go to hell". Alex wanted nothing more than to go over there and kick his ass.
"What are we looking at?" It was Christina who asked, as her and George joined the table. Alex could feel their eyes on him, but he refused to look away.
"What’s with him?" Christina asked, pointing at Alex with her uneaten banana. Izzie merely shrugged and whispered, "I think he misses the gynie squad." He could hear both George and Christina laugh.
"Shut up." Alex muttered as he finally broke his gaze and looked at the three of them.
"Seriously Alex, why are you so obsessed with Addison anyway?" Izzie asked, but before Alex had a chance at answering, Meredith walked up and slammed her tray on the table. "Do I snore?" She asked. All of them were trying their best not to laugh, even Alex as he silently thanked Meredith and all her problems.
--
"Karev, where the hell have you been? I had to get my own coffee this morning, not to mention I have two burn victims waiting for me."
Alex bit his tongue back and simply nodded. "Sorry sir." He paused a moment before asking, "Can I scrub in?" He hated the fact that his whole career laid in the hands of this arrogant jackass.
"No. What you can do is find my cell phone for me. I think I left it in one of the on-call rooms."
"Mark." Both Alex and Sloan turned at the sound of her voice. "Do you think it’s possible you can actually teach your intern something other than how to find a cell phone in a huge hospital?" Addison asked as she looked up from the chart she had been carrying.
Mark smiled in disbelief. "You’re defending him? You know what? Since you’re so intent on playing his guardian, you can have him for the day." With that, he walked away.
Both of them were left staring off in the direction Mark had taken off to. "I guess you’re my intern for the day." She said silently.
They both were silent for a minute before Alex spoke. "I sorry, about last night." He hated bringing it up, but he knew that it was in both their minds.
She held up a hand. "Don’t be. I was the one that let the situation get out of hand. So, I’m sorry." She pursed her lips and began looking over the chart in front of her.
Alex thought for a moment before saying, "I’m not."
Her head snapped up at his confession. "What?"
"Sorry. I know I said I was, but … I’m not. I wouldn’t have done anything differently."
She seemed lost for words. Her mouth hung open but the only thing that escaped was his name. "Alex …" She shook her head, as if she was on the verge of breaking down. She then looked in his eyes and he was right, she was on the verge, her tear stained eyes made it abundantly clear. "I can’t do this right now."
He took a step towards her and nodded. "I know. I don’t want to be one of those jerks that ruins your day, I don’t. That’s why I’m only going to say this, meet me at Joe’s tonight, after work."
"I …" She was about to object, but he stopped her before she had a chance to say no.
"Meet me at Joe’s and then let me take you to dinner."
He had no idea where this courage was coming from; all he knew was that his mouth had taken over and was saying everything that his heart had wanted to. And now, there was awkwardness. He knew she would say no, her lips were forming the word, and now all she had to do was say it.
She took a shaky breath in and thought about her next words.
Chapter Three
"I … can’t." She seemed to be struggling to say the words. As she said them however, her eyes never left his
He had expected her to say no. It was Addison Forbes Montgomery-once-Shepherd after all. She was classy, sophisticated, and gorgeous. Now she only portrayed one of those. Despite all her best efforts at being miserable, she was never anything short of beautiful. He wasn’t her type, Alex understood that, so when she shut him down he simply nodded and started walking away.
"Alex wait."
He turned and was finally able to take in the way she was standing. Both hands were now gripping the counter, as if it were her life support, also, her head hung low. She no longer exuded self-confidence as she once had. Alex’s brow furrowed with confusion, he barely recognized her.
Alex’s thoughts were interrupted however, when Addison whispered, "I’m sorry." Her gaze hung heavily on the floor in front of him. A few seconds later she looked up at him and repeated her unnecessary apology.
To say he was confused would be an understatement. Slowly, he walked towards her and stopped when he was but a few inches away. "What are you sorry about?" He asked softly.
Her eyes bore into his as she said, "I don’t want you to get mixed up with me."
He understood now, or at least he thought he did. In truth, he knew absolutely nothing about Addison.
"Would it help if I wanted to?"
Her brows furrowed as she asked, "But why? Why would anyone choose to get involved in a mess?"
He gave her a crooked smile and said confidently, "You’re not a mess."
She scoffed sarcastically, "Oh, I beg to differ."
Her head hung so low, that Alex had to actually bend over to look her in the eye. He looked through the red hair that had fallen out of her clip and into her face and said, "Let me take you to dinner."
From the spectator’s view, it looked as if they were about to kiss, but at that moment, Alex didn’t care if the nurses saw them.
Staring into his eyes, she seemed to be analyzing his facial features to see if he was serious or not. Once again, her eyes glanced towards his lips and Alex thought she actually was going to kiss him, but then she said, "Alright, but you’ll be regretting it later."
He laughed, trying to shake off how hot it had suddenly become "No doubt about it." He wish his voice didn’t sound too forced as he slowly backed away from her. His throat suddenly felt tight.
While flashing him a small smile she said, "You’re an interesting guy Karev."
"I think so." He said with a slight nod. Walking backwards, he looked at her as he said, "Joes, tonight at seven." He really didn’t want to leave, but he needed space. For some reason, he couldn’t think with her so close to him.
After he had turned she took in a deep breath and said, "Alright."
--
As she walked away she had to ask herself, what the hell am I doing? But despite questioning herself, she couldn’t mask the smile that was forming at the corners of her mouth. Her smile faded however when an all too familiar voice was heard behind her.
"What in the hell do you think you’re doing?" She almost laughed at having asked herself the same question, the only reason she didn't, was because he was asking the question.
She stopped, wishing he wasn't as angry as his voice sounded. Slowly, she turned and sighed, he was indeed mad. "Right now? I’m working."
Mark nodded and said, "So that’s what we call flirting with our interns these days huh? Interesting."
Her eyes widened and she took a step towards him. "You were spying on us? And we weren’t-" She stopped when curious glances made their way towards them. She took another step towards him and whispered, "We weren’t flirting … you know what? Why am I defending myself to you? You shouldn’t even have been there anyways."
"I forgot something, and it’s a good thing I did. You know, it’s pathetic really, that on this particular day, you manage to forget everything." He paused, then, "I’m glad you can go back to being happy Addison, really." She was all of a sudden overcome with a huge amount of guilt, though she wasn’t about to let Mark know.
He was about to walk away but Addison wouldn’t let him, she wasn’t about to let him have the last word. She swallowed her guilt and said, "Don’t you dare judge me. I spent years being unhappy, not days, not weeks, years. And now, I might actually have a chance at real happiness here. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing. But I’m not about to sit and let it pass me by without trying. So no, you don’t get to judge me." She would have stood there a second longer to watch his reaction, but at that exact moment she needed air. She turned and when she was out of his line of sight, she ran.
She didn’t think she’d ever moved so fast in her life. In the middle of running she thanked god that she had changed into her Nike’s, she didn’t want to imagine what she’d look like running in high heels. She ran so fast, she barely had time to register the many questioning glances from her fellow coworkers as she raced passed them.
Addison didn’t stop until she was outside. It was raining and she suddenly had an impulse to go out there and let the rain wash her away, but she didn’t. If she had to guess, she’d say it was about eight o’clock, and she really didn’t feel like spending the rest of the two hours working while dripping wet.
She bent over, trying but failing to catch her breath. Finally, she gave up and decided to sit against the cold cement wall of the hospital. Chills went down her spine as her back connected with the freezing wall. Taking an exhausted breath in, she decided to lie down. Placing both palms on her forehead she closed her eyes and wondered when her life had gotten so chaotic.
Chapter Four
"What are you doing?"
Addison’s eyes remained closed as she answered Callie. "Just trying to remind myself why I came to Seattle."
"So you have to lie on the ground to do that?" This time, Addison slowly removed her hands and looked up at a confused, Callie. A smile played delicately on her lips and Addison would have laughed herself at the situation, if she hadn’t been so miserable.
"Maybe." She answered and started to push herself up as Callie took a seat next to her.
"How long have you been out here?"
Addison shrugged, "I don’t know, not long. Why, what time is it?"
She looked down at her watch and answered, "Almost six."
Her head snapped towards Callie. "Really?" Seems I was way off.
Callie furrowed a brow and nodded. "Yeah."
They both were silent as the rain continued to pour. Some people found the sound of the rain to be loud, Addison thought it was peaceful and she wanted nothing more than to curl into bed and fall asleep to it’s lullaby.
"Any plans tonight?" Callie asked, interrupting her thoughts.
"Besides working?" And the date I can’t make, Addison thought to herself. She had completely forgotten she worked until ten when she had agreed to Alex’s offer. Fortunately for her though she was looking for a way of letting him down easy, she couldn’t go on a date with him, not now. Her life was a puzzle and she didn’t need to add one more piece to the mess.
"Um I just checked and it says you’re off at six."
"What day is it?" Addison asked quickly.
"… Friday … Okay, now I’m starting to worry about you."
Addison sighed as she brought a weary hand to her head. "I’ve been so caught up with the date of today that I’ve completely forgotten which day of the week it is." Guess I can make that date after all, she thought tiredly.
Callie watched Addison’s actions carefully and finally she asked, "Are you okay?"
Resting her chin on her knees she shook her head and stared blankly in front of her. "No … I’m not."
Callie hesitated before finally placing a comforting hand on her friend’s back. "If you want to talk, I’m all ears."
Shaking her head, Addison broke her gaze and stared into Callie’s reassuring eyes. "I’m sorry, it’s not you I just … not tonight."
"Alright, but whenever you’re ready."
"I know, and thank you for that." She gave Callie a small smile before deciding to get up and go on with tonight.
--
Alex wasn’t the tie wearing type; he was more of the jeans and a t-shirt kind of guy. But while he got ready he couldn’t stop thinking about what Addison would wear and how he couldn’t compete.
"What the hell are you doing?" He yelled at his reflection. He was angry. He was angry at Mark for making her feel like crap, he was angry that he couldn’t get within five feet of her and couldn’t think, he was angry that he couldn’t make her happy.
For a long while he started at his mirror image, then with a shake of his head he changed his tie for the second time.
Taking a deep breath in, he finally made a decision.
--
6:50
Alex couldn’t remember the last time he took a drink of his beer. He remembered ordering it at around six, but he didn’t actually remember taking a drink. Looking at it, he realized that he hadn’t even touched it.
The wonderful thing about Joe’s bar was that there was a bell on the door. The most annoying thing about Joe’s bar was that there was a bell on the door.
Alex couldn’t help but jump every time that damn bell rung.
--
6:55
Addison sat on the end of her bed, fully ready, gripping a small article of clothing that her baby never had a chance to wear. The small Yankee’s onesie was meant for a child of two years. Addison laughed at Mark’s incapability to even buy the right size. She wasn’t even aware that she was crying until she felt the pool of tears around her eyes threatening to fall. In all her life she hadn’t cried so much as she did that entire week, not even when Derek had left her. She had been too numb back then to cry.
It wasn’t like she had wanted a baby with Mark; she just wanted a baby in general. She wanted a chance at happiness, a chance at having a real family. She couldn’t see herself opening Christmas presents with Mark and their child. She was envious of all the mothers that came to the hospital seeking her help, it was ridiculous, and she knew it.
She shook her head as she brought herself back to the present by looking at her clock. The numbers were hazy and she realized then that her vision was blurred and that her eyes stung. She quickly wiped her eyes and read the time.
Five minutes.
Sighing she reached for the phone and dialed Alex’s number, intending to tell him she couldn’t make it, however on the first ring she hung up.
--
She was late. Alex was now the type of person who wore ties for people who didn’t even decide to show up. Shaking his head he couldn’t believe his attending had stood him up.
Pushing his beer aside, he called Joe over and said, "Joe, I’m going to need something a lot harder than this."
--
She was late. For the past five minutes Addison stared vacantly at the clock watching as time passed her by. She was shaken out of her daze when her cell phone vibrated against her leg. Without even looking to see who it was she answered. "Hello?"
"So I see your intern is all by himself." Mark’s smug voice was heard on the other end.
Suddenly Addison was snapped back into reality as her anger boiled. "Mark where are you?" She stood up; she was unable to sit when she was angry.
"I was thirsty so I thought I’d throw a few back, why?" He asked innocently. She could practically see his smirk as he talked.
"Mark why are you doing this?" She hated that her voice was failing her.
"Why am I doing what?"
"Mark … I’m not going to do this, I’m not. I’m not going to play this game with you, not now."
"Is that because you’re late for your da-" She knew what he was about to say, but she didn’t need to hear it, instead she slammed the phone down, hopefully hard enough for it to be heard on the other end.
Chapter Five
"This seat taken?" Alex cringed at the voice asking those words. He turned and was met by Mark Sloan.
"Nah, I guess not." He answered regretfully. He had wanted to say no, he was going to say no, but instead said yes, all rational thoughts thrown out the window.
"Joe another one of these please." Mark yelled, holding up an empty bottle. Alex couldn’t put his finger on it, but he could tell a difference in his voice, something troublesome, not that he cared in the least bit. Alex actually hoped Mark felt like he looked, because looking at him now, he must have felt like crap.
Alex sighed as Joe brought Mark his beer, he’d given up on Addison coming about ten minutes ago. It was now seven-thirty and Alex sat with someone whom he’d thought he’d never sit with, or even wanted to sit with.
"You don’t know a lot about her do you?" Mark asked suddenly, completely out of the blue which had caught Alex off guard.
Alex raised a quizzical brow and asked, "What-what do you mean?"
"You know damn well what I mean. Addison." He answered in a slightly more offensive tone than he had before.
Alex was speechless. He didn’t know if he was defending Addison or trying to keep Alex away from her to benefit himself. Alex also didn’t understand why Mark was even asking him about Addison, for all Mark knew she was his attending, nothing more.
"All I’m saying is that we have history, history that you don’t know anything about. And I just find it funny that on this day, you decide to ask her out." He stared at him curiously. "Unless, you somehow knew what today was?"
"No …" His voice trailed as his confusion grew. What was today? Alex was starting to wonder if the confrontation between the two during lunch had anything to do with what Mark was talking about. Alex then thought about Addison’s weary stance earlier that day and how it looked as if someone had completely drained her. What was today? He asked himself again, as all sorts of possibilities ran through his head.
"Good." Mark said, interrupting his thoughts. Getting up he took a ten-dollar bill out of his wallet and placed it on the counter. Before leaving he said, "Good talking with you Karev, I just might let you scrub in on my surgeries after all." Alex watched as he left, wondering what the hell he was talking about and if he even wanted in on his surgeries.
--
Alex wasn’t drunk; he didn’t get drunk, not easily at least. He walked out of the bar at nine wondering if he’d have felt any better if he were drunk. He didn’t think it’d hurt this much to have her not show up. This woman had completely corrupted his mind but strangely it was in a way Alex wasn’t completely dissatisfied with. He liked thinking about the way her hair fell delicately out of her clip and the way it brushed against her perfect lips.
Alex was thinking about her lips and was going to completely pass her by except that her shampoo would have made it impossible. It was some kind of fruit that Alex couldn’t identify even if he tried. He stopped and turned to find half her form hidden in the shadows from the buildings.
"You came." He said simply, hoping that his voice didn’t sound as constricted as it felt.
Slowly she stepped out of the shadows and nodded. "I did."
As she stepped into the light Alex saw that she had indeed dressed up for their date and that she looked amazing. His eyes traveled from her gorgeous red hair down her slender figure and landed on her perfect legs.
Addison smiled as she tried to hide the heat that had all of a sudden crept into her cheeks. Alex stepped towards her, still eyeing her and said, "Wow … this almost makes up for you being late. You look …" He shook his head, unable to come up with a word to describe how incredible she looked.
"I’m sorry … for being late. I was going to come, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t want to, because I did, but then … something came up, and I … I’m sorry."
She was rambling, which Alex found charming, but what she was rambling about had him worried. "Don’t apologize. I actually had an interesting conversation with Sloan."
"Mark?" Addison asked as her head snapped up at his name. He didn’t want to bring it up, but his curiosity was burning him alive and he couldn’t help it. Looking at her face in that moment though, Alex wished he hadn’t brought it up. For some strange reason, she looked scared, as if all wounds had been exposed to the world.
If Alex could choose a super power, it would be to go back in time. "I’m sorry." He said, hoping that it would be enough to stop the tears in her eyes.
The tears had stopped, but one sniffle made it past. "What did he-Did he say anything?"
Alex shook his head, "No. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought him up."
"No it’s fine, it’s just … complicated right now. Today especially." There it was again, today. Alex wished she were comfortable enough to tell him what all this today crap was about.
Silence, then, "I’m sorry for ruining our date."
"Hey, the day’s not over yet. I mean most places are closed but I can whip something up at my house."
She thought for a moment before saying, "Yeah, I’d like that."
--
"Well this is it." He said as he pointed out the small condo he called home.
She eyed the condo thoughtfully and nodded, "It’s nice."
"Don’t lie. It’s livable." He said, slight humor in his voice.
She smiled and smacked him playfully in the chest. "I wasn’t lying, it is nice. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder Karev."
He smiled when she addressed him by his last name. "Said from a beautiful woman." He said facing her. He hadn’t realized how close they were until they reached the door. They stared at each other’s faces, and Alex asked himself why he had been such an ass to her when he had first met her. She was leaning into him and their eyes traveled crazily, hers onto his lips and his onto hers until finally they rested upon each other’s eyes. Alex didn’t know who leaned in first, probably both at the same time, but the next thing he knew their lips collided. Their kiss was slow at first, but intensified by each growing second. Both found that they wanted more and Alex quickly rummaged for his keys, never taking his lips off of Addison’s.
Opening his door had never been more interesting, and thinking about it later, he’ll probably never look at it the same way again. From Addison’s shifting weight, to having his eyes closed, he didn’t know how he orchestrated opening the door, but surprisingly the door had managed to open.
Keys fell from his hands and they took their rightful place on her hips as he led her into the living room. She quickly kicked the door closed and Alex didn’t know if he found anything sexier.
Pushing her against the closed door his lips traveled from hers to her chin, then to her neck, she moaned against his lips and the vibrations she sent made him smile.
His coat was the first thing to go. Their lips pulled apart momentarily while she impatiently pulled the tie off of him. She threw it to the side, and it quickly joined his coat.
Her arms rested comfortably on his shoulders as his hands slowly traveled up her side and finally reached the zipper of her dress. She closed her eyes as the contact of his hands sent shivers down her spine. Little by little he undid her dress and later it would join the ever-growing pile of clothes.
Chapter Six
"What was I thinking?" Addison wanted to scream at herself as she opened her eyes to find Alex’s naked body beside her. She never thought she’d be the one who slept with inappropriate men, first Mark, now Alex. She thought about her life and all of its many complexities as she slowly crawled out of Alex’s bed, thankful that she didn’t wake him in the process.
Once she was safely out of his bed, taking a sheet with her, she began scanning the floor for her dress. A tiny layer of light escaped through the curtains which gave her enough of a lamp to see her dress lying not so innocently under Alex’s shirt and tie.
She picked the shirt up and glanced at the man who went out of his way to dress up for her. Despite her growing protests she realized that she could care for him. She quickly shook her head at the thought; she couldn’t bring herself to drag someone else into her mess of a life, even if the sex had been great.
She put the shirt back and while slipping her dress on, hit her elbow on his dresser. She cried out in pain, but stopped herself when she saw Alex stir. She placed her hand over her mouth until he stopped moving. Sighing a breath of relief that she hadn’t wakened him, she slowly tiptoed out of the room, and finally out of his house.
--
Addison had managed to avoid Alex for the most part of the day. She turned corners whenever he so much as looked her way. Guilt shook her as she pressed her back against the door to her office.
The rest of her day was spent mostly in the OR, that is until Alex pulled her into the stairwell, looking as angry as she had expected him to.
Looking into his eyes, she could see that as angry as he was, he was equally hurt. "You left." He started. "When I woke up, you were gone."
"Alex…" It seemed like a plea as his name rolled off her tongue, a plea for him to not put her through this right then.
"No. You left, and I know why you left, because you thought it was a mistake right? You sleeping with me, it was mistake." His stare was intense, and Addison could practically feel the pain he emitted through his voice. Once Alex was finished with what he was saying, he turned to walk away, but for some reason, she found herself reaching out to grab him.
"Alex." He stopped, but refused to turn around, so she went around to meet his eyes. "I’m sorry. I can’t begin to say how sorry I am … I-" she shook her head, unable to express what she was feeling.
"I get it alright, you’re hot and everything, but you’re not attracted to me. That’s fine. There are plenty more fish in the sea that are just as hot." Casting her one last glance, he removed his hand from her grasp and left, leaving Addison feeling somewhat rejected.
--
Alex stared at the surgery taking place before him with nothing more than mild interest. His thoughts were solely on the woman who made his mind reel. He hadn’t meant to hurt Addison by what he had said; he was angry, angry that she seemed embarrassed by sleeping with him.
"Okay, what is wrong with him?" Izzie’s voice asked the other interns around her. Alex suddenly broke his thoughts and looked at Izzie. "Nothing." He said disbelievingly.
Izzie raised an eyebrow as she said, "Seriously Alex, there are worse things than admitting you miss gynie."
Alex’s head shot up. "What? I don’t miss working with Addison, wh-why would you say that I miss working with Addison?" He rambled defensively.
Izzie eyed him, as well as Meredith and Christina and Izzie said, "First of all, I didn’t say that you missed working with Addison, and second of all when did you start calling Dr. Montgomery, Addison?" The last part of Izzie’s question came more rushed than the beginning which had Alex feeling like he was being interrogated.
They all eyed him suspiciously until Christina, clearly over waiting for Alex to explain, asked, "Speaking of Montgomery, did you hear about her running through the hospital like a madwoman?"
This produced an astonished "What?" from both Meredith and Izzie. Alex however looked at them with furrowed brows and asked a serious, "What are you talking about, when?"
Christina looked at him curiously while answering, "Yesterday I think, why so interested?"
"Yeah Alex?" Izzie asked. Meredith merely chuckled at the turn of events.
He looked nervously at the women in front of him. "No reason, it’s just she seemed weird yesterday."
They seemed to critique him before Izzie agreed. "You know, she did seem weird yesterday." Her eyes however, remained on Alex as he said, "I just remembered I had to find someone."
After he was gone, Izzie muttered under her breath, "He’s acting weird too."
--
"You couldn’t go through with it could you?"
Addison sighed heavily as she removed her glasses. "Mark, you really have the worst timing. Couldn’t you just respect the fact that I don’t want to talk to you?"
"Couldn’t you just respect the fact that I do?" He replied smugly.
"Please." For the fist time that day, she faced him, looking him straight in the eye.
Instead of granting her wish, he asked, "So what was it that made you change your mind? It wouldn’t be because of which day it was would it?"
Any idiot could see that she was on the verge of crying, Mark though took it as his chance to get back at her.
"Dr. Montgomery, we need you." Addison turned at the voice of Callie and the words that saved her from nearly breaking down in front of her colleagues. Without so much as muttering a simple ‘good-bye’ to Mark, she walked with Callie.
"So where is this surgery?" She asked, as she tried her best to compose herself. Instead of answering, Callie pulled her into an on-call room. "Hey what do you think you’re-"
Once they were inside, Callie cut her off by saying, "Spill."
Sighing, Addison sat on the edge of one of the beds. "There’s nothing to-"
Cutting her off once again, Callie said, "That’s bullcrap, and I’m saying this as a friend, I’m worried about you. Just this morning I heard a rumor about a crazy woman running through the halls, and now I find you almost crying while talking with Sloan. So?" Sitting herself next to Addison, Callie readily awaited her answer.
"Thank you … for being so … demanding as a friend. But I’m fine, really." Callie gave her a look saying that she obviously didn’t believe her and Addison gave in. "Okay, I’m not fine. I’m even more not-fine today."
"Oh no. What’d you do?"
"Alright, but no judging. In this case, you aren’t one to judge because you’re doing the exact same thing with O’Malley." She said, needing a verbal okay before she continued.
"What do you … oh." Callie said, as her eyes grew wide. "Oh!"
Addison quickly shushed her.
"So you? And an intern? Who?"
Casting a shameful glance downwards she answered, "Karev."
"I knew it!" Callie said excitedly. She stopped however when she saw the look on Addison’s face. "Oh. This wasn’t one of those drunken mistakes right? Because I seriously don’t see you jumping onto the bandwagon."
Groaning Addison shook her head. "No, unfortunately there was no alcohol within the vicinity. I was perfectly sober, except…"
"Except?" Callie asked, urging her to continue.
Addison faced her and said, "Except for the fact that I slept with Alex Karev."
Chapter Seven
"Don’t make mistakes." Addison whispered to Laura, the tiny baby whom she had been monitoring for the week. Wiping away a tear that threatened to fall, she thought about the mistake she had made that had unraveled a series of mistakes. Mark Sloan was at the base of those mistakes. He was the foundation on which her mistakes were built on. Alex Karev was soon becoming a close second.
"I thought I’d find you here." His voice came from behind her, causing her to jump in response.
"Alex." She said, afterwards taking in a deep breath.
Walking towards her, Alex could swear that he saw remnants of tears. "Have you been crying?" He found himself asking.
Laughing she shook her head, which despite herself, invited more tears. "Shocking isn’t it? I’m crying for what … the millionth time this week?"
He watched her struggle with herself before finally walking over and placing both hands on her arms, holding her in place, their faces only inches away from the other’s. "Hey, look at me." She fought him for a second until she rested her eyes securely on his. "I don’t hold it against you … leaving. I get it, you regretted it, I didn’t, but hey? That’s just me." Looking at him, Addison could tell that he was serious and regardless of what her brain was telling her, she leaned forward, capturing his lips in hers.
Alex’s brain on the other hand, was going into overdrive. He responded to her advance, and even welcomed it. That was, until he broke it off. "Addison wait."
She could practically feel his burning gaze on her, but she refused to open her eyes.
"Whatever had you saying yes to going out with me just happened again didn’t it?"
Slowly, she opened her eyes. "I hate him for making me feel like this, but then again I don’t blame him." She explained softly and she could tell that Alex was confused, but he let her continue anyways. "Every time I look at him I’m reminded of what I could have had … not with him because he would have made a terrible father." She took a deep breath in, then "I just … I need clarity, but you’re making that impossible."
Alex studied her as he tried to process everything she was telling him. He understood what she was saying about her and Mark, although he thought he did, he hoped, on the other hand, that he was wrong. He looked intently into the eyes of the woman before him, the very woman who had him questioning everything around him.
Her eyes left his and traveled to the newborn, whose life had barely just begun. "I have a way of sabotaging my own life."
"No, Mark has a way of interfering with your life and making you feel like crap. He’s good at that. You just, you need to fight him. I’m here, to help you fight him." Alex was never a man of words, more of a man of action, who rose to the occasion with fists rather than words of negotiation. He was also never one to openly display what he was feeling; she was quickly changing that in him.
"I had an abortion. Nine months ago." She said, her voice was filled with pain. Her eyes found their way back to his as she continued. "I could have had a child this week. A child …" A smile crept up on her, but it was a sad smile and as quickly as it had come, it vanished. "He was cheating on me with every woman he came into contact with, he thought I didn’t know, but I knew. Derek also found someone new … what makes you think that you won’t?"
Alex didn’t know what to say. He watched painfully as the woman he cared for poured her heart out to him and obviously waited for him to say something to comfort her fears. He’d never been in this situation before, and he’d never found himself caring for her more, than he had then.
"I won’t." He said, and as expected she quickly turned her head away in dismay. As if to ensure his feelings, he quickly grabbed hold of her arms and wouldn’t let up until she looked back at him. "Listen to me, I won’t. Those guys are idiots who never saw what that they had in front of them all along. I’ll admit, I used to be one of those guys, but then I opened my eyes, or rather you did. Now … I can’t help but look at you and think of how great you are and hope that even for a second, you would glance my way, because even then, I’d be the luckiest man in the world. I’m not saying that I want you to marry me, I just want you to consider the possibility of seeing me the way I see you."
Her throat had never been tighter than in that moment of declaration. Alex Karev was continuing to surprise her. She swallowed the lump that had formed itself during his speech and slowly her eyes traveled to where her lips wanted to be again, on his. Alex stood in anticipation over her next words, but they never came, instead he was slowly pulled forward as his lips met hers.
Her hands traveled up to the back of Alex’s head and she held him in place, not letting him interject on this kiss.
His hands however, fought their way under her white coat and rested just barely under her bra strap. He rubbed her back eagerly as he felt her tongue fight entrance into his mouth, without a second thought, he gave her access, and soon his tongue joined hers.
Chapter Eight
"I think … maybe … we … should … stop." Addison managed to get in between trying to fight off Alex’s eager lips. She didn’t want to stop, it was just that they were in proximity to the nurse’s station, and she didn’t feel like being the latest gossip. The nurses had enough on their plate, what with George and Callie making out after his dad’s surgery and all.
That’s something I probably need to talk to him about… she thought, thinking about how she wanted to keep their newfound relationship under wraps.
"Yeah." Alex said breathlessly as he slowly pulled away. Addison looked at him, truly amazed that she was kissing the very intern she had once hated; thinking about it now, there probably had been an enormous amount of sexual tension, it was only now escalating. Suddenly, a smile snuck its way onto her face.
"What?" He asked, fighting the urge to smile himself. The thought of smiling faded however, when he was brought back to the pain she had just confessed to him, leaving him wondering if her smile was genuine, or a forced smile she was putting on for his behalf.
"Nothing … I just, I never thought I’d be kissing Alex Karev." Addison answered, and suddenly Alex found it hard not to smile as he looked at her and thought the exact same thing.
"I can top that, I’d never thought I’d be kissing Addison Forbes Montgomery." It was true too; the superior woman was almost at the bottom of his list, as far as people he thought he’d end up with went. She was first on an entirely different kind of list.
She made a face, bringing him out of his dirty thoughts, and said, "Oh don’t say my middle name."
"Why?" Alex asked, laughing a little at the face she was making.
"Because, it sounds so editorial, like I’m some kind of ice queen with a stick up my ass."
Alex couldn’t help but laugh at that. "But you’re not."
"Oh-ho, I know what you were saying about me when I first arrived here." She brought a finger up to her mouth as she pretended to think. "Oh yes, Satan wasn’t it? I also heard Satan’s whore muttered throughout the halls."
Alex cringed. "You heard that huh?"
"Mm-hmm, yeah."
"Well if it makes you feel any better, I never thought Satan’s whore would be this hot." Alex said with a smile as he leaned in and gave her a small kiss, hoping that would suffice. It also gave him another reason for him to once again kiss those flawless lips.
"Yeah, you’re going to have a lot of making up to do." She said, as she opened her eyes after the kiss, now realizing how much she liked to feel his lips against hers, but as much as she liked kissing him, others wouldn’t be so welcoming at the sight.
"Really?" He asked, placing both arms around her. "I’m looking forward to it." He said as he leaned in again for another kiss, but this time, was stopped by Addison’s finger. "The key is being discreet Karev. I don’t want to be another Meredith and Derek."
Alex thought about that for a moment and then agreed, understanding why she would feel that way. "I don’t either." He said, with mild disgust.
"So…" She started.
"The sex is going to have to wait until after work? Got it." He said smugly, loving that he was now able to talk to her this way.He is persistent,
"What? No sex? You’re killing me here." She would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been serious; the tone of his voice displayed nothing of the sort, but by his face she could tell that he was disappointed.
"No, I just thought we kind of rushed into that. I’d like to get to know you first before jumping into bed … again."
"Alright." He sighed. "So this means I won’t be seeing that lacey number you were sporting for a while?" His smile somehow find its way back onto his face as he pictured what she had been wearing.
Closing her eyes, she cringed. "Oh god … I’m sorry about that." She mentally kicked herself for having gone overboard, but she had wanted to dress up even if she hadn’t planned on taking her clothes off.
"Don’t be, it’ll be forever burned into my memory, and for that, I thank you."
Smiling, she shook her head. "You really are something."
Both fell into a comfortable silence, finding reassurance in each other’s eyes. Alex looked at her and wondered if her mind was still plagued with thoughts from the past. He could only hope that in the future she would somehow forget her afflicted history, and find a way to truly be happy again, Alex didn’t care how long that would take either, he would wait.
"Are you going to be alright?" He found himself asking the very thing that was troubling him.
She laughed and nodded. "I think I am, I just need to remind myself…" Her voice trailed.
"What?"
"… not to get hurt."
Chapter Nine
Alex was at a loss for words. He didn't want to promise her that she wouldn't get hurt, because the future was undecided, and unexpected events were just around the corner. The only thing he could promise was that he himself would never do anything to hurt her, but he felt that saying so wouldn't give her enough reassurance, and that thought not only saddened him, but disappointed him as well. Without so much as a hesitation, he quickly wrapped his arms around her protectively and gave her a gentle squeeze, hoping this would suffice to calm her growing fears of being hurt.
He then realized how dry his throat seemed. "Listen I-" he swallowed before continuing, "I'm not-"
Suddenly Meredith walked through the doors, stopping when she saw the close proximity in which Alex and Addison were standing, and the fact that Alex's hands were tightly bound around Addison's figure. "Dr. Montgomery, I'm sorry to barge in but, the Chief wanted to talk to you." She said lightly, as she tried to avert her eyes from the couple.
Addison nodded and hoped that her tears were dried up enough so that Meredith wouldn't see. The last thing she wanted was for her ex-husbands girlfriend to see her crying, okay next to last. "Thank you Dr. Grey." She said, trying to shrug off Alex's arms. He was unwilling to at first, but after seeing the pleading look in her eyes, let go. The last thing Meredith saw before she left was the awkward exchange between the two.
Addison sighed, knowing full well that the rumors were probably already starting to spread. She wanted to be angry at Alex for carelessly displaying his affections for her in such close proximity to those who might see, but found that she couldn't. His wanting to comfort her somewhat helped, and she was grateful to him for that.
She then noticed the change in his stature, his arms were crossed and he was looking at her expectantly. "I guess you should go see the Chief, I'll update you on her" her said, nodding towards the tiny infant who's room they were in "when you come back Dr. Montgomery." She flinched at the way 'Dr. Montgomery' left his lips. She then watched as his retreating form walked through the door.
She felt horrible for the way she shrugged out of his endearing embrace, but she felt that Alex of all people should have understood her wanting to keep their relationship under wraps, after all he agreed that he didn't want to become another 'Meredith and Derek'.
"This is going to be harder than I thought." She muttered under her breath, thinking back to the way he looked before he left, and how rejected he seemed.
--
"Alex."
Alex heard his name being called from behind him, but he continued to walk. He knew what she wanted to talk about, but he refused to to talk, let alone to her.
"Alex." Meredith called for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "Alex wait." She ran to catch up to him.
Finally, he stopped, leaving Meredith almost crashing into him when she caught up. "What?" He asked forcefully, as he whipped around to face Meredith, and found that she was only inches away from him.
She jumped a little in unexpectedness at having him whip around so fast and also the way he looked. He noticed her being uncomfortable, so he collected himself before saying "What?" again, this time a little more softly.
"About what I just saw-" Meredith started hesitantly, but was interrupted by Alex brushing her off.
"Was nothing." He finished for her. "It wasn't anything." He said bitterly.
"Okay..."
He quickly ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Was there something besides that that you wanted?" He knew that he was probably scaring Meredith, but at the moment, he didn't care. Addison wouldn't let him in, and it was the most painstakingly depressing thing, and not only that, she seemed ashamed of the feelings she held for him. That much was obvious when she literlly pushed him off of her.
Meredith surprised him by seeming a little unfazed by his curt remark, and what surprised him more was when she placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sad smile. "I'm here, you know. If you ever want to talk." She whispered so that only he could hear her.
His face softened as he nodded. They were the same, him and Meredith. They were both damaged, both 'dark and twisty' despite his better judgment, he knew it. But what was worse was that not only was he damaged, but Addison was as well.
This relationship is going to get complicated, fast, he thought.
--
"Chief you wanted to see me."
Richard looked up from the article he was reading and sighed. "Sit down Addison." He said, as he gently pulled his reading glasses off and placed them on his desk.
Addison obeyed and sat herself in the seat directly facing the Chief's desk. Out of habit, she crossed her legs and placed her folded hands in her lap.
The Chief looked tired, worn out, and exhausted all at the same time. Addison hadn't realized how much the race to be the next Chief had taken out of her old friend, he looked as if he was about to throw in the towel, which made her wonder even more as to why he asked to see her.
He was silent for a moment before saying, "I just spoke with Barbara." Addison's face fell at the name, Barbara had been the one conducting the interview to find the next Chief.
"And?" She asked nervously, although she knew full well what was coming.
"How do you think your interview went?" He asked, and Addison thought that was so like Richard, to reverse the roles on her as a way of escaping out of saying the words himself.
She cleared her throat as her eyes traveled to the small area in between his desk and her chair. "Not as well as I would have liked it to." She answered sadly, remembering that that was the day that she had almost kissed Alex, although there were many occasions when she thought about kissing him, but it was that night she had seriously considered it, it was also the day that she found out that Mark had slept with one of the nurses, although that was nothing new. What hurt was was that once again, she was being rejected, thrown aside, alone. He had broken their sixty days of no sex to sleep with some bright-eyed nurse who had barely turned twenty-three. He had given up a chance at being with her, to sleep with another woman, again. So, as anyone could have imagined, during the interview she was plagued with uncertainty, and doubt, and last but not least she felt as if her self confidence was dangling on a string ready to break.
Richard pursed his lips and stood up, and before she knew it, he was beside her with his hand gripping hers. "Addison, look at me."
She fought against tears, and knew that if she looked at him they were on dangerous territory of falling. She considered Richard as her second father, and she'd be damned if she cried in front of her father.
"Addison." His voice was stern, but also affectionate, something she loved about him. But she also found it annoying how he used that voice as a way of persuading her into doing what he wanted.
Slowly, she obeyed, and blinked as a tear escaped her and trailed lightly down her cheek.
"It's not over." He said in a determined voice. "You're still in this. You just have to try twice as hard."
She nodded, but quickly stopped as another tear followed the path left by the other.
"You're smart, and strong, and you need to pull it together if you want to win this." He said as he gently squeezed her hand.
"I need this." She said softly and she quickly saw Richards face sadden as the grip on her hand loosened.
He was quiet for a moment before saying, "Then we may have a problem."