I Do (But I Don't...)
I am shocked at myself, at my reaction to last night's episode of Glee. I feel totally opposite of what I thought I would.
So there's this awesome Tumblr blog called GleekOutBR (Brazil), and nobody knows how/why they have all the spoilers for Glee, but they do. They have never let us down. So after they confirmed Ryan Murphy's tweet about Klaine going to the Wemma wedding together and making out in a car (Lord have mercy), I was all in a tizzy about this episode. Then GleekOutBR tells us that Klaine were getting it on this episode too, and I was so very happy to hear that.
But after seeing the episode last night, I'm not happy anymore.
It's really upsetting me. Everyone loves this episode. I do not.
First, I must say...I think my overall feelings stem from my frustration that Klaine is not officially back together. I just want them back, whole, together, committed again dammit. If last night's episode had taken place after a reconciliation, dear Lord you'd have had to scrape me off the ceiling today.
But it didn't. There was no reconciliation, or even hope of one, because Kurt kept reminding Blaine every five seconds that they were "just friends". In my opinion, friends don't make out in cars. At least, not like that. And friends definitely don't bonk each other's brains out with basically no preamble.
I felt like Kurt was very distant, and there wasn't much going on in the feelings department on his end. He even mentioned Adam in the middle of having his tongue down Blaine's throat, for goodness sakes. And then after sex, he tells Blaine it was "fun, but..." Last I knew, Kurt wasn't the type of guy to have sex for "fun" - his father gave him an entire lecture on the idea that sex should be used to connect to another person - the right person, at the right time. I'm not saying that Kurt couldn't have grown in his idea of what he thinks sex should be...I'm just not okay with feeling like he was just in it to be in it while Blaine was completely invested heart and soul.
And Blaine. He was so happy to be with Kurt, even after Kurt told him the sex was "fun". I'm really glad Blaine's not me, because I would have been really upset if the boy I loved had sex with me and then basically just said "LOL thx for teh sex LOL it was fun haha". Why was there no deeper connection between the two of them on this front?
Kurt lacked a lot of emotion (in my opinion, of course), and therefore, the entire thing lacked a lot of emotion. I suppose I wanted something deeper. I wanted Kurt to want Blaine, on a level deeper than something purely physical. I wanted them to talk about their breakup, or to talk about their feelings and where they both stood. I did not expect the entire thing to feel cavalier, like just a hook-up.
Which is another thing that bugs me. I feel like this wonderful, amazingly well-connected, devoted and loving couple just got down-graded into a one night stand that only half the people involved really cared about. Like...this is not my Klaine. I want my vulnerable Kurt back. I want my heart-eyes, sweet-faced, "You take my breath away" Kurt back. I want them to be soulmates again.
And yes, I know...Kurt has a right to be distant. I know Blaine hurt him tremendously. Which only says to me that he shouldn't have been making out/having sex with Blaine until he was sure he was ready. I'll even give him an out and say that, sure, I probably would have made out with Blaine before I was completely certain I was ready, too. Yes. But I wouldn't have slept with him before then. What happens now, when Kurt goes back to NYC and Blaine doesn't see him for weeks on end? Does Blaine feel used? Did Kurt use him? Does Kurt even love him? And what about Adam? Did Kurt cheat on him? Why do I have so many questions? Are you getting sick of the question marks yet?
? (:P)
Like I said before, I'm completely shocked at myself. I didn't expect to feel this way. I guess I put too high a hope on getting something really emotional from this show. Maybe this is being done on purpose. Maybe the writers know what they're doing. (*snort*) Maybe in three weeks when the show comes back, that episode will entirely negate everything I'm feeling right now about this episode. (*crosses fingers*)
Sigh. I dunno. Anyone have any insight for me? What did you like about the episode? I'd love to see it from someone else's perspective. Maybe I'm just overreacting. Maybe I'm a little too caught up in a fictional couple for it to be healthy. :P
Oh, and also...I can sort of see the other side a bit...like, okay, so Kurt's not one for an emotionless hook-up. He sleeps with Blaine. So that must mean that he has some sort of emotional tie to Blaine, right? I mean, he could have slept with Adam, but he didn't. He could have made out with Adam, but he didn't. So there's an underlying reason why he chose Blaine, right? I just didn't see much of that underlying reason. I can't tell you how many people on Tumblr see it - they see that Kurt's holding back and hiding his true feelings - but for some reason, that's not how I saw him, at least not to the degree of what I would have liked. I wanted to see it plain as day on his face. Like, no denying that he's totally buttcrazy in love with Blaine, but afraid of getting hurt so he's holding back. But that's not what I saw. I don't know why I can't see it.
Sigh. I'm upset. I want to love this episode, too.
~G
So there's this awesome Tumblr blog called GleekOutBR (Brazil), and nobody knows how/why they have all the spoilers for Glee, but they do. They have never let us down. So after they confirmed Ryan Murphy's tweet about Klaine going to the Wemma wedding together and making out in a car (Lord have mercy), I was all in a tizzy about this episode. Then GleekOutBR tells us that Klaine were getting it on this episode too, and I was so very happy to hear that.
But after seeing the episode last night, I'm not happy anymore.
It's really upsetting me. Everyone loves this episode. I do not.
First, I must say...I think my overall feelings stem from my frustration that Klaine is not officially back together. I just want them back, whole, together, committed again dammit. If last night's episode had taken place after a reconciliation, dear Lord you'd have had to scrape me off the ceiling today.
But it didn't. There was no reconciliation, or even hope of one, because Kurt kept reminding Blaine every five seconds that they were "just friends". In my opinion, friends don't make out in cars. At least, not like that. And friends definitely don't bonk each other's brains out with basically no preamble.
I felt like Kurt was very distant, and there wasn't much going on in the feelings department on his end. He even mentioned Adam in the middle of having his tongue down Blaine's throat, for goodness sakes. And then after sex, he tells Blaine it was "fun, but..." Last I knew, Kurt wasn't the type of guy to have sex for "fun" - his father gave him an entire lecture on the idea that sex should be used to connect to another person - the right person, at the right time. I'm not saying that Kurt couldn't have grown in his idea of what he thinks sex should be...I'm just not okay with feeling like he was just in it to be in it while Blaine was completely invested heart and soul.
And Blaine. He was so happy to be with Kurt, even after Kurt told him the sex was "fun". I'm really glad Blaine's not me, because I would have been really upset if the boy I loved had sex with me and then basically just said "LOL thx for teh sex LOL it was fun haha". Why was there no deeper connection between the two of them on this front?
Kurt lacked a lot of emotion (in my opinion, of course), and therefore, the entire thing lacked a lot of emotion. I suppose I wanted something deeper. I wanted Kurt to want Blaine, on a level deeper than something purely physical. I wanted them to talk about their breakup, or to talk about their feelings and where they both stood. I did not expect the entire thing to feel cavalier, like just a hook-up.
Which is another thing that bugs me. I feel like this wonderful, amazingly well-connected, devoted and loving couple just got down-graded into a one night stand that only half the people involved really cared about. Like...this is not my Klaine. I want my vulnerable Kurt back. I want my heart-eyes, sweet-faced, "You take my breath away" Kurt back. I want them to be soulmates again.
And yes, I know...Kurt has a right to be distant. I know Blaine hurt him tremendously. Which only says to me that he shouldn't have been making out/having sex with Blaine until he was sure he was ready. I'll even give him an out and say that, sure, I probably would have made out with Blaine before I was completely certain I was ready, too. Yes. But I wouldn't have slept with him before then. What happens now, when Kurt goes back to NYC and Blaine doesn't see him for weeks on end? Does Blaine feel used? Did Kurt use him? Does Kurt even love him? And what about Adam? Did Kurt cheat on him? Why do I have so many questions? Are you getting sick of the question marks yet?
? (:P)
Like I said before, I'm completely shocked at myself. I didn't expect to feel this way. I guess I put too high a hope on getting something really emotional from this show. Maybe this is being done on purpose. Maybe the writers know what they're doing. (*snort*) Maybe in three weeks when the show comes back, that episode will entirely negate everything I'm feeling right now about this episode. (*crosses fingers*)
Sigh. I dunno. Anyone have any insight for me? What did you like about the episode? I'd love to see it from someone else's perspective. Maybe I'm just overreacting. Maybe I'm a little too caught up in a fictional couple for it to be healthy. :P
Oh, and also...I can sort of see the other side a bit...like, okay, so Kurt's not one for an emotionless hook-up. He sleeps with Blaine. So that must mean that he has some sort of emotional tie to Blaine, right? I mean, he could have slept with Adam, but he didn't. He could have made out with Adam, but he didn't. So there's an underlying reason why he chose Blaine, right? I just didn't see much of that underlying reason. I can't tell you how many people on Tumblr see it - they see that Kurt's holding back and hiding his true feelings - but for some reason, that's not how I saw him, at least not to the degree of what I would have liked. I wanted to see it plain as day on his face. Like, no denying that he's totally buttcrazy in love with Blaine, but afraid of getting hurt so he's holding back. But that's not what I saw. I don't know why I can't see it.
Sigh. I'm upset. I want to love this episode, too.
~G