Turtle Story: First Time part 1
Author: Melissa the Damgel
Series: Vindicated
Title: First Time
Pairing: Raph/Don
Rating: R
Summary: Some first times aren't always pleasent.
Warning for this chapter: Fighting and bloodshed, and Angst-galore.
Author's Note: The boys are still 15 years old in this one. (and I made the post too long >_< It's in two parts again.)
*****~*****
~First Time~
He dodged the katana and shifted to the side, rolling his shoulder to throw the end of his bo staff into the man’s gut and effectively knocking the wind from his lungs, and with a simple kick he forced the man to the ground.
The black clad ninjas scattered before reforming in the blink of an eye. They attacked again in mass with weapons hissing out before them, flying high, striking in low, cutting upwards, and bashing in wide arcs.
Donnie ducked low from a Foot Ninja’s high kick, and then he struck upwards with his bo, catching the man in the crotch and sending him flying over his shoulder.
With a simple twirl and repositioning of his foot, he urged his muscles to move, blocking blows on either side of him and keeping the weapons at bay.
He jerked his staff up in front of his face as a Foot brought an axe down towards his head like a sledgehammer. Don caught the weapon effortlessly with a grunt of effort, but the ninja pushed down on his weapon, trying to use brute force to cleave Don’s head open.
Growling, Donnie pushed back against the ninja’s weapon, holding his ground squarely before he dared to twitch a muscle. He spun under the axe and to the Foot’s left side, dropping instantly down to a knee and sweeping his other leg out, knocking the man’s feet out from under him and forcing him to crash to the ground.
Donnie stood smoothly and spun his bo, flinging aside a nunchaku aimed for his head. There was a sudden rush of air and a snarled grunt from behind him and he spun about, staring wide eyed at Raph as he locked blades with a Foot Ninja who had attempted to run him through with a naginata spear.
Raphael rumbled in his chest and bared his teeth before he cried out, shoving the weapon upwards and raised a foot, quickly kicking the man in the gut and sending him sprawling across the alley.
“Watch yourself, Donnie! I ain’t always going to have your back!” He snapped, shooting a glare at Don before his sais flashed out and he went back to work - or play as he might call it.
Donnie nodded and unconsciously disarmed another Foot Ninja and knocked him unconscious with one small movement, “Uh… r-right!” he shouted back.
The fight continued; arms and legs flying, fists connecting with jaws, knees colliding with bellies, and feet scrambling as silently as they were trained to run as two sides fought each other in an attempt to gain the upper hand and go back about their business.
Don had lost sight of his brothers what felt like hours ago. This was only their third fight with the Foot Ninja since they ran into them weeks ago; but it seemed their man-power tonight was unexpectedly heavy.
He worked his way through the throng of ninjas leaping out at him from all angles of the darkness. Donnie finally spied Mikey as he twirled and leapt about, his nunchakus flying and jabbing with as much energy as his sugar-injected body held as he seemed to bounce around and defeat his enemies with sheer cockiness and a never-ending supply of liveliness on his side - not that his natural athleticism didn’t hurt his abilities either - and all the while his tongue hung out of his mouth with conceit etched into his face.
Leonardo was perfect - as usual - in his execution and the precision behind every stroke of his blades. His katanas flashed in the dark from the faint light of the stars above upon those razor-sharp blades; and his weapons seemed as natural in his hands as breathing was to the rest of the mortal world around him. Those swords were an extension of his body, as well as an achingly beautiful dance that they performed amongst themselves - every swing and every dip was complimented by the other even as they fought their own battles on the other side of their master’s body.
And then there was Raph. If he wasn’t in the middle of a battle, he might have stopped just to watch him. Raphael was like a Mack truck speeding down a city street and running over any and all in his path. He was graceful but powerful as he jabbed and blocked, his teeth barred like a wild beast and he growled loudly like one too. Amber eyes shone with delight at the challenges presented to him this night, and he could clearly see his brothers respect and awe for the beauty that war had brought to his life.
Donnie ducked and twirled his bo sharply over his head, cracking the end against a man’s wrist and breaking the bone sharply without a second glance. He rushed forward, sliding to a stop with his back to his brothers, swiping his staff out in front of himself to drive back a few more men.
A snarl at his right told him Raph was leaping into the belly of the beast in another of his wild head-first attacks. Raphael sliced and cut, stabbing into men’s bodies as he continued to fight, bellowing at his enemies to give up already and flee the area if they wanted to live another night.
Don didn’t move and he stayed at his side, pushing back just as hard as they pushed in. The Foot Ninja were like squirrels tonight! You took one down and there were three to take his place! He heard something behind him and he turned. Time seemed to slow - as it always does the instant a crucial moment appears without warning. One look at the man coming down from the pinnacle of his leap and trying to land on Raphael’s back with twin kamas in his hands ready to slice the red banded turtle open, caused something to snap inside of Donnie’s chest and he let out a shout of surprise.
Without a moment of hesitation, Donnie rushed forward and flung his bo out like a baseball bat. He released another cry as his bo collided with the man and sent him flying in the other direction and he watched him smash into a dumpster then drop heavily to the pavement under him.
Raph jerked his head to glance over his shoulder, even as he caught an attack with his sais. He smirked, winking at Donnie with a playful light in his eyes. “Nice one, Donnie-boy.” He chuckled and continued the fight, ducking under a sword swipe before standing sharply and thrusting his sai into the man’s thigh muscles. Once all three blades were in the Foot Ninja’s leg, Raph smirked at him brazenly, “This’s goin’ ta hurt like a bitch.” And then he twisted his sais, ripping his flesh and the muscles apart, causing the Foot Ninja to howl in pain.
A smile couldn’t stop from spreading across Donnie’s face after the compliment Raphael and given him. He twirled his bo with renewed vigor, knocking a man out cold in front of him before shoving the end of his bo out behind him and causing the Foot Ninja behind him to double over in pain. “Thanks, I do try.”
“Ya should do it more of’en. Yer… good at it!” he grunted as he threw a punch into a man’s jaw before leaping into the air, dodging a ball and chain that had been thrown at him in an attempted to wrap about his ankles.
“Good lil’ Donnie was so badass just then!” Mikey shouted, laughing loudly as he twisted about, smashing his nunchakus into a Foot soldier’s temple.
“You three talk too much. Pay attention!” Leonardo snarled, cutting down a man after he leapt out of the shadows and had made a rush towards Michelangelo with a scythe in hand.
“Sorry Fearless,” Raphael sarcastically drawled as he rolled his eyes before he twirled on his heel and threw his leg out, his heel connecting hard with a ninja’s jaw and snapping his head to the side, dropping him to the dirt in a heap of unmoving limbs. “I forgot there that you think ninja’s should be all quiet and sneaky.” He wiggled his fingers at him mockingly even as he threw an elbow out behind him and shattered some poor guy’s nose.
Mikey provided the spooky noises.
“Knock it off you two, Leo does a have point. If we get distracted-” Don grunted and pole vaulted over three Foot Ninjas in front of him before he spun his bo out and smacked his weapon across the backs of their knees, forcing them to fall backwards where he quickly and systematically knocked them out with a sharp wrap on the forehead with the end of his bo. “-we could get hurt, or even die.” Donnie explained with a waggle of his finger after finishing off his lot of Foot.
Sighing loudly, Raph waved his hand, the tip of his sai seeming to slice through the night air in front of him. “Whatever.” He then turned and once again jumped headfirst into the fight, his sais leading the way.
Between the four of them, the turtles finally began to make a hearty dent in the seemingly endless supply of Foot Ninja out and about for the night. They still weren’t certain what to make of the ninjas, other than the fact that they were their enemies and whoever led the ninjas was completely hell bent on destroying them. Another few minutes of fighting and the Foot Ninja finally retreated, rushing off in a silent hiss into the night, leaving the battle ground empty except the four turtles in the middle of a sea of their fallen comrades.
Leo waved Michelangelo and Raphael off to check the surrounding area to be certain they were safe as he and Don cautiously began to check over the wounded and unconscious - finding several dead. Leo had made it a point for his brothers to never remove the masks of their enemies unless need be - it made it easier for them to sleep at night if they didn’t see the faces of their unintended slain victims dancing before their eyes.
While scanning over his side of the alley Donnie cautiously approached a few bodies near the back. He knelt down, rolling a man over and then stood sharply. He just stared for a moment before he backed up rapidly, his shell stopping him the moment he hit the brick building behind him. Dark eyes widened and focused on the man near the dumpster that he had turned over, just staring at him and beginning to shake.
“Don?” Leo called, his brows knitting together as he took note of his brother’s tightening grip upon his bo staff that was beginning to turn his knuckles white at the strength of his hold as he pulled his weapon close to his chest. “Don?” He said again, taking a tentative step towards his unnerved brother.
“I… I didn’t mean too…” He whispered, taking a side step to the side only to jump and look down at the man crumpled at his feet and it only caused him to visibly shake and dart his eyes quickly back to the dumpster.
“Donatello?” Leo asked again, reaching out towards him.
Don jerked away, his breathing picking up to a rapid wheeze. “I…”
“Mikey! Raph! Get your shells over here!” Leonardo shouted over his shoulder, keeping one eye on Donnie while he kept the other on the look out.
His brothers were quick to return, it only took them half a minute to jump across the roofs and return to them, leaping down from the fire escapes that had framed the fight between the two buildings.
“We got cops on the way, dudes. I overheard a lady make a phone call about a fight outside her apartment. We gotta split soon bros.” Mikey stated, pointing over his shoulder as he pushed one of his nunchakus into his belt. Blue eyes landed on Don and he immediately forgot about possible exposure. His brows knitted together and his face fell from the unworried air he usually flaunted. “Donnie? What’s wrong?”
He said nothing and Leo was the one to glance at Mikey and shake his head, whispering to his youngest brother. “I don’t know. We were checking the area to make sure we didn’t leave behind any evidence, and he suddenly freaked over something.” Leo whispered, looking to his purple colored brother before he tried to follow Don’s gaze and stared at the area surrounding the dumpster that he seemed to be so intent on.
Raph was the one who was brave enough to check it out. He marched over there and knelt, tugging at a few ninja to check under their bodies before he gave up. “I don’t see nothin’… just a few unconscious guys and one of their dead buddies.” He explained, standing from his crouch to walk back to his brothers. Amber eyes focused on Don, more worried than he was letting on. He had a reputation to keep up after all - but damn, it was hard not to freak out over him and want to hug his brother close.
“I-I didn’t… I didn’t mean too… I didn’t think I hit him that hard…” Don whispered, his voice shaking so badly every word trembled as it tumbled from his lips.
Scrunching up his face, Raph looked to his other brothers and silently asked what he meant.
Mikey was the first to get it - after all, he understood what his brother was going through. He had gone through the same shock and horror, only he had gone through it more privately. Sad blue eyes glanced over to the dumpster and at the man Raph had pointed out, “He’s dead…” Mike whispered.
“What?” Raph snapped.
Pointing to the area, Michelangelo turned his eyes first to Raph, then to Leonardo, trying to impress upon them the severity of his words. “Donnie killed him.” He whispered.
Leo’s face fell and his brown eyes shot towards Donnie as comprehension smacked him upside the head like a ton of bricks. “His first…”
Shoving past his brothers, Raph moved in close to Don, taking up all available space around him. Large hands grabbed Donnie’s head and he forced him to turn his head and face him. Raph cupped his hands around his face and purposefully blocked out everything around them so Donnie could see nothing but him.
Donnie trembled and moisture gathered in his eyes, “I didn’t mean-”
“It ain’t your fault! You saved me; otherwise that would be me lyin’ over there. Ya hear me? It wasn’t yer fault for what happened.”
“But…” Don gasped for air and squeezed his eyes shut, his hands dropping his bo and letting it clatter loudly to the ground at his feet as he gripped at Raph’s wrists tightly. “I didn’t mean too… I didn’t want to-”
“Look at me!” Raph snarled, giving Donatello’s head a faint shake. When a whimper was all he got, Raph growled and gripped his head, pulling him a bit closer, “Look at me!”
Donnie stifled something in his throat and his dark eyes flew open, several tears sliding down his cheeks. “Raphie…”
“Don’t ya dare think you did it on purpose.” He growled, narrowing his amber eyes. “We were in the middle of a fight; stuff like this happens! I know ya didn’t mean too so snap out of it!”
He only trembled and clung all the more desperately to Raphael. He gripped at his brother’s strong arms, attempting to ground himself because at the moment he felt like Raph’s touch was the only thing holding him up and keeping him from collapsing to the pavement.
Sirens unexpectedly broke through to the three worried turtles like a gunshot the moment they realized the police were practically right on top of them. The three coherent brothers jerked and glanced towards the end of the alley before they looked back to their broken down sibling.
Leo cursed using a very Raph-like word as he shot a look to Mikey and quickly motioned towards the manhole cover. Mike nodded and darted off, prying open the cover and pushing it to the side in preparation.
“Raph, we gotta go.” Leo murmured, glancing towards the opening where the police lights were flashing off the windows of the shop across the street.
“Donnie, come on…” Raph whispered, pulling him close even as Leo scooped up Don’s bo and managed to get it on his back with his swords before he tugged again on Raph’s elbow.
“Gotta go…” He hissed, brown eyes locked on the opening where shadows were quickly approaching.
Making a growl of his own, Raph grabbed Donnie’s wrist and tugged him towards the cover, forcing him to move through the fallen ninjas towards the manhole. Mikey jumped in first and was followed by Raph who quickly turned to help Leo guide their shaking brother down. Leonardo was last and he leapt down, holding onto the iron ladder were he tugged the cover back into place just seconds before a beam of light passed over the sewer cover.
Mikey had Don’s elbow, gazing at his brother in worry. “Donnie, it’s okay, really.”
“But I didn’t want to…” he whispered on a trembling voice.
“No time, let’s get back to the lair, hurry.” Leo hissed and grabbed one of Don’s hands, slapping his bo across his palm to force his brother’s fingers to curl over his weapon.
Don stared down at the staff as though he had never seen such a thing before in his life. Mikey urged him to follow him, keeping Don on the right path and at a decent pace on their way back to the lair. Raph simply followed. A deep frown knotted in his forehead and drew his lips into a sharper line as the minutes passed in silence.
“You okay, Don?” Mikey whispered suddenly, startling all his brothers and causing his purple clad brother to physically jump in surprise, Leo jerked his head up and glance back at them, and Raph snapped out of his brooding thoughts from the simple question his baby bro had asked.
Donnie nodded and looked to the ground, watching his feet walk through the filth that layered the sewer ground. “Yeah… I… I’m just shaken… I just didn’t…”
“We know you didn’t mean to, dude.” Mike whispered, tugging on his arm. “Do you think any less of us for killing some of those guys?”
Don shook his head slightly.
“That’s how we feel about you, bro. We don’t blame you for anything.” Mikey smiled sweetly, taking his brother’s hand between his and trying desperately to pull Donnie back from the abyss he knew he was teetering towards.
He couldn’t bring himself to smile, but Don did manage a nod and he gazed once more down at the ground. “Thanks…” he whispered. He just didn’t have the heart to tell him he didn’t feel any better.
When they returned to the lair, everyone split immediately. Leonardo left to report the incident to Splinter. Mikey - after looking to Donnie one last time and getting several insistent reassuring words and more than several urges to go relax - ran for the kitchen and then to the television, digging into his chips and soda with sweet abandon. And Raph headed for his room to do one of three things, either read a few pages in a Michael Crichton book, spend half an hour or more working out the last of his energy into his punching bag, or simply passing out in his hammock; but he stopped short instead. Slowly, he turned worriedly back towards Donnie, who was still standing by the door with an uncertain aura pressing in on him from all sides.
Shifting a step back as he turned his body, Raphael observed Donnie look down at his hands that were gripping his bo tightly. He watched Donnie’s brows knit together sharply as he fingered the wooden staff, a faint tremble once again appearing in his hands. Raphael turned slightly and then started back towards him the moment Donnie’s face twisted in despair. Raph was intent on doing whatever it took to get Donnie back to normal and rid that look from his brother’s face.
The purple clad turtle seemed to snap out of his reverie upon feeling Raph’s approach. He raised his dark, rich eyes and locked them with intense and focused amber and he felt his stomach flip and his knees grow weak. He wanted nothing more than to run to him and ask him to hide him away. Donnie wanted to be a kid once again and be clean and innocent of everything. It was the most gut wrenching feeling to know his hands were dirtied and he could never fix or repair something like this for as long as he lived. He looked away and set his bo against the wall before he walked quickly to the bathroom with his eyes lowered and head turned so he could avoid looking at Raph.
Shutting the door in Raph’s face and locking it forcefully behind him, Donnie planted his hands against the door, leaning heavily upon it as he bowed his head and shook. His stomach jumped and his legs trembled with all the guilt he was carrying inside him.
“Donnie?” Raphael asked.
“I’m fine, Raph; go away. I just want to take a shower.” He yelled back through the door. Donnie held his breath a moment, feeling Raph on the other side of the door. His eyes squeezed shut as he curled his fingers against the door. When the silence carried between them through the barrier for another minute, Don finally fumbled about to remove his belt and mask and he nudged his pads off before he forced the water knob to turn. He practically fell into the spray of water and bowed his head into the warmth, pressing a hand to the wall as the other jerked the curtain closed behind him in a hissing screech of curtain rings again the metal bar. “I’m fine…” he whispered to himself, though his lower lip trembled and tears began outlining his closed eyes.
Now that he was alone with just his thoughts, Donnie’s face twisted up and he slid down the wall slowly till he hit his knees and his fingers clawing at the wall. Tears mingled with the rushing water that fell upon him like a thundering storm that was nothing compared to the tumultuous hurricane of emotions inside his soul. He hadn’t meant to kill him. He thought he had just knocked him out after he hit the dumpster. He didn’t…
Don slid further against the wall of the shower and pulled his knees up to his body and hid his face against them. He covered the sides of his face and hiccupped, trying to deal with the knowledge that he had just stolen away the life of another. He had played God and snuffed out another’s existence.
Shaking his head as he wrapped his arms about his knees, Donnie buried his face into the crook of his arm, trying so hard to curl up and hide away just like his turtle-side would have done by retreating into his shell. But Donnie couldn’t hide away from the world and he stifled a sob that jerked from his body while he shuddered before finally just crying.
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On to part two: http://g33kg1rl.livejournal.com/4851.html
Series: Vindicated
Title: First Time
Pairing: Raph/Don
Rating: R
Summary: Some first times aren't always pleasent.
Warning for this chapter: Fighting and bloodshed, and Angst-galore.
Author's Note: The boys are still 15 years old in this one. (and I made the post too long >_< It's in two parts again.)
*****~*****
~First Time~
He dodged the katana and shifted to the side, rolling his shoulder to throw the end of his bo staff into the man’s gut and effectively knocking the wind from his lungs, and with a simple kick he forced the man to the ground.
The black clad ninjas scattered before reforming in the blink of an eye. They attacked again in mass with weapons hissing out before them, flying high, striking in low, cutting upwards, and bashing in wide arcs.
Donnie ducked low from a Foot Ninja’s high kick, and then he struck upwards with his bo, catching the man in the crotch and sending him flying over his shoulder.
With a simple twirl and repositioning of his foot, he urged his muscles to move, blocking blows on either side of him and keeping the weapons at bay.
He jerked his staff up in front of his face as a Foot brought an axe down towards his head like a sledgehammer. Don caught the weapon effortlessly with a grunt of effort, but the ninja pushed down on his weapon, trying to use brute force to cleave Don’s head open.
Growling, Donnie pushed back against the ninja’s weapon, holding his ground squarely before he dared to twitch a muscle. He spun under the axe and to the Foot’s left side, dropping instantly down to a knee and sweeping his other leg out, knocking the man’s feet out from under him and forcing him to crash to the ground.
Donnie stood smoothly and spun his bo, flinging aside a nunchaku aimed for his head. There was a sudden rush of air and a snarled grunt from behind him and he spun about, staring wide eyed at Raph as he locked blades with a Foot Ninja who had attempted to run him through with a naginata spear.
Raphael rumbled in his chest and bared his teeth before he cried out, shoving the weapon upwards and raised a foot, quickly kicking the man in the gut and sending him sprawling across the alley.
“Watch yourself, Donnie! I ain’t always going to have your back!” He snapped, shooting a glare at Don before his sais flashed out and he went back to work - or play as he might call it.
Donnie nodded and unconsciously disarmed another Foot Ninja and knocked him unconscious with one small movement, “Uh… r-right!” he shouted back.
The fight continued; arms and legs flying, fists connecting with jaws, knees colliding with bellies, and feet scrambling as silently as they were trained to run as two sides fought each other in an attempt to gain the upper hand and go back about their business.
Don had lost sight of his brothers what felt like hours ago. This was only their third fight with the Foot Ninja since they ran into them weeks ago; but it seemed their man-power tonight was unexpectedly heavy.
He worked his way through the throng of ninjas leaping out at him from all angles of the darkness. Donnie finally spied Mikey as he twirled and leapt about, his nunchakus flying and jabbing with as much energy as his sugar-injected body held as he seemed to bounce around and defeat his enemies with sheer cockiness and a never-ending supply of liveliness on his side - not that his natural athleticism didn’t hurt his abilities either - and all the while his tongue hung out of his mouth with conceit etched into his face.
Leonardo was perfect - as usual - in his execution and the precision behind every stroke of his blades. His katanas flashed in the dark from the faint light of the stars above upon those razor-sharp blades; and his weapons seemed as natural in his hands as breathing was to the rest of the mortal world around him. Those swords were an extension of his body, as well as an achingly beautiful dance that they performed amongst themselves - every swing and every dip was complimented by the other even as they fought their own battles on the other side of their master’s body.
And then there was Raph. If he wasn’t in the middle of a battle, he might have stopped just to watch him. Raphael was like a Mack truck speeding down a city street and running over any and all in his path. He was graceful but powerful as he jabbed and blocked, his teeth barred like a wild beast and he growled loudly like one too. Amber eyes shone with delight at the challenges presented to him this night, and he could clearly see his brothers respect and awe for the beauty that war had brought to his life.
Donnie ducked and twirled his bo sharply over his head, cracking the end against a man’s wrist and breaking the bone sharply without a second glance. He rushed forward, sliding to a stop with his back to his brothers, swiping his staff out in front of himself to drive back a few more men.
A snarl at his right told him Raph was leaping into the belly of the beast in another of his wild head-first attacks. Raphael sliced and cut, stabbing into men’s bodies as he continued to fight, bellowing at his enemies to give up already and flee the area if they wanted to live another night.
Don didn’t move and he stayed at his side, pushing back just as hard as they pushed in. The Foot Ninja were like squirrels tonight! You took one down and there were three to take his place! He heard something behind him and he turned. Time seemed to slow - as it always does the instant a crucial moment appears without warning. One look at the man coming down from the pinnacle of his leap and trying to land on Raphael’s back with twin kamas in his hands ready to slice the red banded turtle open, caused something to snap inside of Donnie’s chest and he let out a shout of surprise.
Without a moment of hesitation, Donnie rushed forward and flung his bo out like a baseball bat. He released another cry as his bo collided with the man and sent him flying in the other direction and he watched him smash into a dumpster then drop heavily to the pavement under him.
Raph jerked his head to glance over his shoulder, even as he caught an attack with his sais. He smirked, winking at Donnie with a playful light in his eyes. “Nice one, Donnie-boy.” He chuckled and continued the fight, ducking under a sword swipe before standing sharply and thrusting his sai into the man’s thigh muscles. Once all three blades were in the Foot Ninja’s leg, Raph smirked at him brazenly, “This’s goin’ ta hurt like a bitch.” And then he twisted his sais, ripping his flesh and the muscles apart, causing the Foot Ninja to howl in pain.
A smile couldn’t stop from spreading across Donnie’s face after the compliment Raphael and given him. He twirled his bo with renewed vigor, knocking a man out cold in front of him before shoving the end of his bo out behind him and causing the Foot Ninja behind him to double over in pain. “Thanks, I do try.”
“Ya should do it more of’en. Yer… good at it!” he grunted as he threw a punch into a man’s jaw before leaping into the air, dodging a ball and chain that had been thrown at him in an attempted to wrap about his ankles.
“Good lil’ Donnie was so badass just then!” Mikey shouted, laughing loudly as he twisted about, smashing his nunchakus into a Foot soldier’s temple.
“You three talk too much. Pay attention!” Leonardo snarled, cutting down a man after he leapt out of the shadows and had made a rush towards Michelangelo with a scythe in hand.
“Sorry Fearless,” Raphael sarcastically drawled as he rolled his eyes before he twirled on his heel and threw his leg out, his heel connecting hard with a ninja’s jaw and snapping his head to the side, dropping him to the dirt in a heap of unmoving limbs. “I forgot there that you think ninja’s should be all quiet and sneaky.” He wiggled his fingers at him mockingly even as he threw an elbow out behind him and shattered some poor guy’s nose.
Mikey provided the spooky noises.
“Knock it off you two, Leo does a have point. If we get distracted-” Don grunted and pole vaulted over three Foot Ninjas in front of him before he spun his bo out and smacked his weapon across the backs of their knees, forcing them to fall backwards where he quickly and systematically knocked them out with a sharp wrap on the forehead with the end of his bo. “-we could get hurt, or even die.” Donnie explained with a waggle of his finger after finishing off his lot of Foot.
Sighing loudly, Raph waved his hand, the tip of his sai seeming to slice through the night air in front of him. “Whatever.” He then turned and once again jumped headfirst into the fight, his sais leading the way.
Between the four of them, the turtles finally began to make a hearty dent in the seemingly endless supply of Foot Ninja out and about for the night. They still weren’t certain what to make of the ninjas, other than the fact that they were their enemies and whoever led the ninjas was completely hell bent on destroying them. Another few minutes of fighting and the Foot Ninja finally retreated, rushing off in a silent hiss into the night, leaving the battle ground empty except the four turtles in the middle of a sea of their fallen comrades.
Leo waved Michelangelo and Raphael off to check the surrounding area to be certain they were safe as he and Don cautiously began to check over the wounded and unconscious - finding several dead. Leo had made it a point for his brothers to never remove the masks of their enemies unless need be - it made it easier for them to sleep at night if they didn’t see the faces of their unintended slain victims dancing before their eyes.
While scanning over his side of the alley Donnie cautiously approached a few bodies near the back. He knelt down, rolling a man over and then stood sharply. He just stared for a moment before he backed up rapidly, his shell stopping him the moment he hit the brick building behind him. Dark eyes widened and focused on the man near the dumpster that he had turned over, just staring at him and beginning to shake.
“Don?” Leo called, his brows knitting together as he took note of his brother’s tightening grip upon his bo staff that was beginning to turn his knuckles white at the strength of his hold as he pulled his weapon close to his chest. “Don?” He said again, taking a tentative step towards his unnerved brother.
“I… I didn’t mean too…” He whispered, taking a side step to the side only to jump and look down at the man crumpled at his feet and it only caused him to visibly shake and dart his eyes quickly back to the dumpster.
“Donatello?” Leo asked again, reaching out towards him.
Don jerked away, his breathing picking up to a rapid wheeze. “I…”
“Mikey! Raph! Get your shells over here!” Leonardo shouted over his shoulder, keeping one eye on Donnie while he kept the other on the look out.
His brothers were quick to return, it only took them half a minute to jump across the roofs and return to them, leaping down from the fire escapes that had framed the fight between the two buildings.
“We got cops on the way, dudes. I overheard a lady make a phone call about a fight outside her apartment. We gotta split soon bros.” Mikey stated, pointing over his shoulder as he pushed one of his nunchakus into his belt. Blue eyes landed on Don and he immediately forgot about possible exposure. His brows knitted together and his face fell from the unworried air he usually flaunted. “Donnie? What’s wrong?”
He said nothing and Leo was the one to glance at Mikey and shake his head, whispering to his youngest brother. “I don’t know. We were checking the area to make sure we didn’t leave behind any evidence, and he suddenly freaked over something.” Leo whispered, looking to his purple colored brother before he tried to follow Don’s gaze and stared at the area surrounding the dumpster that he seemed to be so intent on.
Raph was the one who was brave enough to check it out. He marched over there and knelt, tugging at a few ninja to check under their bodies before he gave up. “I don’t see nothin’… just a few unconscious guys and one of their dead buddies.” He explained, standing from his crouch to walk back to his brothers. Amber eyes focused on Don, more worried than he was letting on. He had a reputation to keep up after all - but damn, it was hard not to freak out over him and want to hug his brother close.
“I-I didn’t… I didn’t mean too… I didn’t think I hit him that hard…” Don whispered, his voice shaking so badly every word trembled as it tumbled from his lips.
Scrunching up his face, Raph looked to his other brothers and silently asked what he meant.
Mikey was the first to get it - after all, he understood what his brother was going through. He had gone through the same shock and horror, only he had gone through it more privately. Sad blue eyes glanced over to the dumpster and at the man Raph had pointed out, “He’s dead…” Mike whispered.
“What?” Raph snapped.
Pointing to the area, Michelangelo turned his eyes first to Raph, then to Leonardo, trying to impress upon them the severity of his words. “Donnie killed him.” He whispered.
Leo’s face fell and his brown eyes shot towards Donnie as comprehension smacked him upside the head like a ton of bricks. “His first…”
Shoving past his brothers, Raph moved in close to Don, taking up all available space around him. Large hands grabbed Donnie’s head and he forced him to turn his head and face him. Raph cupped his hands around his face and purposefully blocked out everything around them so Donnie could see nothing but him.
Donnie trembled and moisture gathered in his eyes, “I didn’t mean-”
“It ain’t your fault! You saved me; otherwise that would be me lyin’ over there. Ya hear me? It wasn’t yer fault for what happened.”
“But…” Don gasped for air and squeezed his eyes shut, his hands dropping his bo and letting it clatter loudly to the ground at his feet as he gripped at Raph’s wrists tightly. “I didn’t mean too… I didn’t want to-”
“Look at me!” Raph snarled, giving Donatello’s head a faint shake. When a whimper was all he got, Raph growled and gripped his head, pulling him a bit closer, “Look at me!”
Donnie stifled something in his throat and his dark eyes flew open, several tears sliding down his cheeks. “Raphie…”
“Don’t ya dare think you did it on purpose.” He growled, narrowing his amber eyes. “We were in the middle of a fight; stuff like this happens! I know ya didn’t mean too so snap out of it!”
He only trembled and clung all the more desperately to Raphael. He gripped at his brother’s strong arms, attempting to ground himself because at the moment he felt like Raph’s touch was the only thing holding him up and keeping him from collapsing to the pavement.
Sirens unexpectedly broke through to the three worried turtles like a gunshot the moment they realized the police were practically right on top of them. The three coherent brothers jerked and glanced towards the end of the alley before they looked back to their broken down sibling.
Leo cursed using a very Raph-like word as he shot a look to Mikey and quickly motioned towards the manhole cover. Mike nodded and darted off, prying open the cover and pushing it to the side in preparation.
“Raph, we gotta go.” Leo murmured, glancing towards the opening where the police lights were flashing off the windows of the shop across the street.
“Donnie, come on…” Raph whispered, pulling him close even as Leo scooped up Don’s bo and managed to get it on his back with his swords before he tugged again on Raph’s elbow.
“Gotta go…” He hissed, brown eyes locked on the opening where shadows were quickly approaching.
Making a growl of his own, Raph grabbed Donnie’s wrist and tugged him towards the cover, forcing him to move through the fallen ninjas towards the manhole. Mikey jumped in first and was followed by Raph who quickly turned to help Leo guide their shaking brother down. Leonardo was last and he leapt down, holding onto the iron ladder were he tugged the cover back into place just seconds before a beam of light passed over the sewer cover.
Mikey had Don’s elbow, gazing at his brother in worry. “Donnie, it’s okay, really.”
“But I didn’t want to…” he whispered on a trembling voice.
“No time, let’s get back to the lair, hurry.” Leo hissed and grabbed one of Don’s hands, slapping his bo across his palm to force his brother’s fingers to curl over his weapon.
Don stared down at the staff as though he had never seen such a thing before in his life. Mikey urged him to follow him, keeping Don on the right path and at a decent pace on their way back to the lair. Raph simply followed. A deep frown knotted in his forehead and drew his lips into a sharper line as the minutes passed in silence.
“You okay, Don?” Mikey whispered suddenly, startling all his brothers and causing his purple clad brother to physically jump in surprise, Leo jerked his head up and glance back at them, and Raph snapped out of his brooding thoughts from the simple question his baby bro had asked.
Donnie nodded and looked to the ground, watching his feet walk through the filth that layered the sewer ground. “Yeah… I… I’m just shaken… I just didn’t…”
“We know you didn’t mean to, dude.” Mike whispered, tugging on his arm. “Do you think any less of us for killing some of those guys?”
Don shook his head slightly.
“That’s how we feel about you, bro. We don’t blame you for anything.” Mikey smiled sweetly, taking his brother’s hand between his and trying desperately to pull Donnie back from the abyss he knew he was teetering towards.
He couldn’t bring himself to smile, but Don did manage a nod and he gazed once more down at the ground. “Thanks…” he whispered. He just didn’t have the heart to tell him he didn’t feel any better.
When they returned to the lair, everyone split immediately. Leonardo left to report the incident to Splinter. Mikey - after looking to Donnie one last time and getting several insistent reassuring words and more than several urges to go relax - ran for the kitchen and then to the television, digging into his chips and soda with sweet abandon. And Raph headed for his room to do one of three things, either read a few pages in a Michael Crichton book, spend half an hour or more working out the last of his energy into his punching bag, or simply passing out in his hammock; but he stopped short instead. Slowly, he turned worriedly back towards Donnie, who was still standing by the door with an uncertain aura pressing in on him from all sides.
Shifting a step back as he turned his body, Raphael observed Donnie look down at his hands that were gripping his bo tightly. He watched Donnie’s brows knit together sharply as he fingered the wooden staff, a faint tremble once again appearing in his hands. Raphael turned slightly and then started back towards him the moment Donnie’s face twisted in despair. Raph was intent on doing whatever it took to get Donnie back to normal and rid that look from his brother’s face.
The purple clad turtle seemed to snap out of his reverie upon feeling Raph’s approach. He raised his dark, rich eyes and locked them with intense and focused amber and he felt his stomach flip and his knees grow weak. He wanted nothing more than to run to him and ask him to hide him away. Donnie wanted to be a kid once again and be clean and innocent of everything. It was the most gut wrenching feeling to know his hands were dirtied and he could never fix or repair something like this for as long as he lived. He looked away and set his bo against the wall before he walked quickly to the bathroom with his eyes lowered and head turned so he could avoid looking at Raph.
Shutting the door in Raph’s face and locking it forcefully behind him, Donnie planted his hands against the door, leaning heavily upon it as he bowed his head and shook. His stomach jumped and his legs trembled with all the guilt he was carrying inside him.
“Donnie?” Raphael asked.
“I’m fine, Raph; go away. I just want to take a shower.” He yelled back through the door. Donnie held his breath a moment, feeling Raph on the other side of the door. His eyes squeezed shut as he curled his fingers against the door. When the silence carried between them through the barrier for another minute, Don finally fumbled about to remove his belt and mask and he nudged his pads off before he forced the water knob to turn. He practically fell into the spray of water and bowed his head into the warmth, pressing a hand to the wall as the other jerked the curtain closed behind him in a hissing screech of curtain rings again the metal bar. “I’m fine…” he whispered to himself, though his lower lip trembled and tears began outlining his closed eyes.
Now that he was alone with just his thoughts, Donnie’s face twisted up and he slid down the wall slowly till he hit his knees and his fingers clawing at the wall. Tears mingled with the rushing water that fell upon him like a thundering storm that was nothing compared to the tumultuous hurricane of emotions inside his soul. He hadn’t meant to kill him. He thought he had just knocked him out after he hit the dumpster. He didn’t…
Don slid further against the wall of the shower and pulled his knees up to his body and hid his face against them. He covered the sides of his face and hiccupped, trying to deal with the knowledge that he had just stolen away the life of another. He had played God and snuffed out another’s existence.
Shaking his head as he wrapped his arms about his knees, Donnie buried his face into the crook of his arm, trying so hard to curl up and hide away just like his turtle-side would have done by retreating into his shell. But Donnie couldn’t hide away from the world and he stifled a sob that jerked from his body while he shuddered before finally just crying.
*****~*****
On to part two: http://g33kg1rl.livejournal.com/4851.html