wow

[fuzzymonkey810]

gosh i haven't even looked at this thing in months. I dont know, I've been doin a lot of thinkin lately and I kinda just needed to do this for myself for once. Ever since high school I've pretty much lost all of my friends. I came home this weekend and I haven't talked to or seen anyone. I guess I'm ok with it, cause now I know what matters most. Partying was just a phase I went through. Before I left for school I felt it was pointless and now I do again. Its not only that, but I really can't even finish a drink. I've tried and I just can't do it. Its not important to me anymore. It seems that family's the only constant in my life. Everything is changing so much and family is still here. I kinda like it though, I've gotten so much closer with my family, and I feel like me and my mom have become so close over the last few months. Its like she's my best friend. I really like it though, cause I know so many people who don't get along with their parents...its sad, I wish they could all have what I have. Me and Dustin are doing great as far as I'm concerned. He's there for me for anything and I can tell him anything. Ok so he's my other best friend. My best friend that lives 2000 miles away. Its far, but at least he's there 24 hours a day whenever I need him. Yea, sometimes its hard that I cant see him, but that doesn't matter when you have someone so great. His friend is kinda gettin in the middle of things though. She claims that she is just trying to protect him, but why would she talk shit about me if thats the case? I really dont like having enemies...especially if its my boyfriend's really good frien, but I try my hardest to be nice. I dont know, I guess some people dont want us to be happy. It kinda reminds me of when i was in high school and spent the night at heather's and someone called my house trying to get me in trouble. Honestly, why does it matter? Just because I'm happy and content with my life someone has to come in and try to screw things up. Well here's an update, nothing you say or do is gonna affect us. Only we can do that. She wants to hang out with him when he comes to visit. He said that maybe the three of us can do something. She didn't like that idea. Ok....well I'm sorry you don't like me. That was kinda rude. I'd be up for it. It kinda sickens me how people act, but if they're not willing to deal with it then that's their problem. You could suck it up, be mature and hang out with us or just go be pissed off and not see your friend, I don't really care. I just finished this really good book that kristen gave me. It made me realize that I shouldn't care what people say about me. I know people talk, and I don't know why. I never did anything to them. If they can't accept the way I am, then they gotta deal with it. I will be myself, I will do what I think is right. I'm never gonna be that popular girl, I'm never gonna have 243095 friends or party all night. That's just not me. I'm gonna stay in on a Friday night watching movies, doing crafts, things that make ME happy, not everyone else. Its just how I am. Maybe I was brought up wrong? But what's right? There is no right or wrong. Some people are partiers and social butterflies, but I'm more of an independent person, I like to do things for me. I like to be outside, I love to be by myself. Its just who I am. I've realized that, after feeling akward at parties. Some people like to drink till they puke and pass out wherever they end up. I like to have one drink then spend the night in my own bed...alone.

On a good note, I got some fish from my brother, two guppies. Both male again, so i named them Will and Jack. Mom says I need to buy a Grace so they can have babies. I told her they're gay and I dont need 500 guppies haha. Dustin's coming to visit in October, and I'm soooooo excited to see him. Its gonna be amazing. I'm going back to school tomorrow morning, I hate leaving home. But then again I do cause coming back home after a while is so great. Ok I think thats all there is to say...for now