How To Drive: Carolina Style
Rule #1--You must never use your directional signal, unless you intend to simply leave it on while driving straight down the interstate and have no actual intent on turning.
Rule #2--Set cruise control for between 10 miles below, or 10 miles above the speed limit. There is no in between option.
Rule #3--Stay in your lane. No matter what. Even if Jesus himself is behind you and needs to get to church lest he be late for a sermon. It is YOUR lane. This should not be confused with the utter panic that old people display, white knuckle grip on the wheel, afraid to move. This is not a pompous or conceited thing. It simply is. Stay in your lane.
Rule #4--If it rains, you must slow down 15 MPH, even if it's a light drizzle. Then drive erratically as possible to avoid unnecessary raindrops.
Rule #5-God forbid it snows. If you need to venture out for supplies (remember, just bread and milk) you should continue following rules 1-3 only. Remember to brake as hard as possible, to send the message that you really mean it. Doing this will ensure that you end up a ditch, unable to harm anyone--except for those that are hurtling themselves into the ditch next to you.
Follow these simple rules, and you too can drive like a Carolinian!