if tomorrow never comes, will she know how much i loved her?
well i was listening to some music last night. jenn had my cds so i was listening to what i had in my room and i ended up listening to some garth brooks. this song reminded me of jenn. i hope that tomorrow still comes but i hope that jenn knows how much she means to me if it doesnt. i wish i could show her. she means the world to me and i think she knows. i dont know. there are so many things i want to tell her but when i get ready to say them i think its too emo so i just bite my tongue and shut up. im so fucking emo.
today was alright. i still havent seen my dad so its all good. i hate that man. he knows how to piss me off and he does it so well. what bothers me about that is he can push my buttons better than anyone alive yet he knows the least about me. how is that? you would think people like rita who know me so well would be able to hurt me more, but i guess not. who cares? i dont.
dude i hate LJ. i cant read my friends page. whats up with that? stupid fuckers! i talked to chantelle today. its cool that we get along so well now. i missed being able to talk to her. she makes me giggle sometimes. i was telling aubrey about how well we get along and how astonished i am by that and she was asking about if i have feelings for her. god i hate that. i guess you cant be friends with anyone youve had sex with without having feelings for them. i know that im not attracted to her. i think shes an attractive girl and if i hadnt been through hell with her and i wasnt so happy with jenn, i would probably like her, but i dont. i love jenn. i dont think i will ever stop loving jenn. i dont want to stop loving jenn. honestly, this year has been amazing. i think knowing that im with jenn just makes it better. ive always wanted this. not only because its jenn, but because its the kind of working relationship ive always dreamed of. the kind where her parents like me and my parents like her. deep down i know my stepmom likes her more than any other girl i could bring home. i think she knows how happy jenn makes me and how much i need her. my stepmom knows how long ive cared for jenn. yeah the sexual thing bothers her, i know it does but the fact is that ive loved jenn for so long. i dont know. im being emo again. jesus. well i think this entry is basically ruined. i quit
GREGGER
today was alright. i still havent seen my dad so its all good. i hate that man. he knows how to piss me off and he does it so well. what bothers me about that is he can push my buttons better than anyone alive yet he knows the least about me. how is that? you would think people like rita who know me so well would be able to hurt me more, but i guess not. who cares? i dont.
dude i hate LJ. i cant read my friends page. whats up with that? stupid fuckers! i talked to chantelle today. its cool that we get along so well now. i missed being able to talk to her. she makes me giggle sometimes. i was telling aubrey about how well we get along and how astonished i am by that and she was asking about if i have feelings for her. god i hate that. i guess you cant be friends with anyone youve had sex with without having feelings for them. i know that im not attracted to her. i think shes an attractive girl and if i hadnt been through hell with her and i wasnt so happy with jenn, i would probably like her, but i dont. i love jenn. i dont think i will ever stop loving jenn. i dont want to stop loving jenn. honestly, this year has been amazing. i think knowing that im with jenn just makes it better. ive always wanted this. not only because its jenn, but because its the kind of working relationship ive always dreamed of. the kind where her parents like me and my parents like her. deep down i know my stepmom likes her more than any other girl i could bring home. i think she knows how happy jenn makes me and how much i need her. my stepmom knows how long ive cared for jenn. yeah the sexual thing bothers her, i know it does but the fact is that ive loved jenn for so long. i dont know. im being emo again. jesus. well i think this entry is basically ruined. i quit
GREGGER