Why do I think 73 degrees is cold. It should not be cold.
MY FAMILY: *is talking about how many science fiction writers outlive their wives, do not ask why*
DAD: What about Neil Gaiman, is his wife still alive?
ME: Uh, yes, but they're divorced.
MOM: Doesn't he have a hot young girlfriend now?
ME: I think she's in her mid-late thirties, she's not that young. And I'm pretty sure they're engaged, actually.
MOM: Oh. I thought I heard she's pregnant.
ME: No, just engaged, I'm pretty sure.
MOM: Or maybe she was pregnant.
DAD: You two never tell me any of the gossip.
And then we watched A Single Man, which was kind of spectacularly boring. Although apparently that is okay because it was based on a book written by a well-known Literary author and if you are a well-known Literary author then your stuff is never boring, it's just Too Advanced For The Likes Of You. I have never been so let down by the promise of gay Colin Firth, although, in fairness, I have never actually been promised gay Colin Firth before. When I am a super-famous published author, if I ever try to be Literary, please someone slap me. Also slap me if I decide killing a gay couple is dramatic brilliance. Seriously, do.
DAD: What about Neil Gaiman, is his wife still alive?
ME: Uh, yes, but they're divorced.
MOM: Doesn't he have a hot young girlfriend now?
ME: I think she's in her mid-late thirties, she's not that young. And I'm pretty sure they're engaged, actually.
MOM: Oh. I thought I heard she's pregnant.
ME: No, just engaged, I'm pretty sure.
MOM: Or maybe she was pregnant.
DAD: You two never tell me any of the gossip.
And then we watched A Single Man, which was kind of spectacularly boring. Although apparently that is okay because it was based on a book written by a well-known Literary author and if you are a well-known Literary author then your stuff is never boring, it's just Too Advanced For The Likes Of You. I have never been so let down by the promise of gay Colin Firth, although, in fairness, I have never actually been promised gay Colin Firth before. When I am a super-famous published author, if I ever try to be Literary, please someone slap me. Also slap me if I decide killing a gay couple is dramatic brilliance. Seriously, do.