i didn't miss watching commercials when i was back home
I am watching the Golden Globes because...it's on, or something? Anyway, I have seen, like, five of any of the things that have been nominated, so it's mostly an exercise of me going either "I have no idea how good any of these things are, so I will root for them based entirely on if I like their names or not" or "I am familiar with exactly one of these and I will root for it madly because clearly it is the best", which is why I am vaguely seething that WALL-E didn't get Best Original Song. It's awesome! None of the others' five-second clips sounded awesome! But at least it didn't go to Miley Cyrus. Dammit, Down to Earth was the only one with lyrics you could actually understand, too. MUMBLING DOES NOT EQUAL ARTISTIC MERIT.
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS WINKED AT THE CAMERA. WIN, NEIL. WINNNN. JEREMY PIVEN YOU ARE AWESOME BUT YOU HAVE LIKE TWENTY AWARDS, YOU DON'T NEED ANY MORE. People whose stuff I haven't seen, people whose stuff I haven't seeeeeeen....oh phooey, someone whose stuff I haven't seen won. When will it be your turn, NPH? Someday! Someday.
Another category I don't know at all, but Laura Dern is nice, so I suppose she deserved to win. HEY IT'S HAYDEN PANETTIERE! ...she's brunette now? Man. OOH MICHAEL C HALL, YOU BETTER WIN but probably it will be the Mad Men guy again. No, wait, Hugh Laurie! Michael C. Hall or Hugh Laurie, actually let's just go with Hugh as he--oh come on, Gabriel Byrne? No love for Hugh? There is never enough love for Hugh. (Oh and I kind of fail at not noticing that Zac Efron was her co-presenter, apparently. Look, I was busy thinking about NPH.)
Oooooooh Chris Pine and Zach Quinto! Lookin' sharp, boys. Alas, I haven't seen any of these noms, but I kind of want Anna Paquin to win just because genre omg. HOSHIT SHE ACTUALLY WON. Do the Genre Show dance! Woooooooo!
Ricky Gervais, hey there! Hah, he's insulting everybody. And sad that he's not nominated. ...I'm not good with transcribing, but he just said "That's the last time I have sex with two hundred foreign journalists". Oh, he's introducing a clip from a movie I haven't heard of. Woo!
Jonas Brothers, yadda yadda. Outstanding Animated Feature? Does anybody really think anything besides WALL-E is going to win? Awww, they're showing the bubble-wrap and lightbulb bit. WALL-E wins. What a shocker. Aww, the guy thanked Tom Newman and Peter Gabriel!
Johnny Depp looks kind of stoned. Another category where I haven't seen anything. Meryl Streep or Emma Thompson? Tricky, tricky. Aaand it goes to Sally Hawkins for Happy-Go-Lucky, which I guess is a movie, though they could be making it up entirely for all I know, given that I never heard of it before tonight. She's totally adorable, though, so they seem to be doing a very good job with their deception. Awww, she asked for Emma and Emma looked very reassuring.
Heroes commercial. Rrrrr, it looks like they're pitting Nathan and Peter against each other. *puts fingers in ears*
Jake Gyllenhaal introducing a clip from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I kind of want to see that, really.
Mini-Series or TV Movie, haven't seen any of them, yadda yadda ooh Bernard and Doris that one can win because it's got Susan Sarandon and Ralph Fiennes. Probably it'll go to John Adams, though, because it's "amazing" or something. And, yup, John Adams. Tom Hanks produced it? Huh.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, OH NO. Will it be Crazy Tom Cruise? Crazy Robert Downey Jr.? Or, y'know, that other guy? (Also there are some others but who cares about those. Okay, they are awesome others, but whatevs.) HEATH LEDGER, AND THE AUDIENCE GOES WILD. Chris Nolan's accepting, and it's all very poignant.
Tom Brokaw introducing a clip from Frost/Nixon, and--and I really can't look at that title without thinking Unfortunate Things. Oh dear.
Colin Farrell with Best Foreign Language Film, and I haven't even heard of any of these. No, wait, I've heard of Waltz with Bashir, but I've never seen it. Ooh, it won! Is that the first time an animated movie's won a big category besides, well, Best Animated Feature?
Aaraon Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal for Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie. Go, Laura Linney for John Adams, because you're the only one I'm vaguely familiar with! Or, wait, Susan Sarandon in Bernard and Doris. Oooh, you can never give too many awards to Judi Dench. Laura Linney gets it, good for her.
oooh, there's a cool Target commercial with a comic-booky style, panels and sound effect-words and everything. It's the little things that make me happy.
Gerard Butler introducing a clip from In Bruges. I quite want to see this, actually. I think my Dramatic Writing professor said he was going to show us, wooooo!
Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen, aww! (I...sort of have a crush on that guy. YOU SHUT YOUR FACE.) Best Screenplay, eh? Haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire, Frost/Nixon (UNFORTUNATE THOUGHTS), Benjamin Button, Doubt, and The Reader. So I've seen...none of them. Slumdog wins. I think it's supposed to be amazing, or something? My Dramatic Writing professor didn't like it.
Patrick Dempsey and Amy Poehler, Best Actor in a TV Miniseries, Musical, or Comedy--Alec Baldwin as per usual, Steve Carell, Kevin Connolly, David Duchovny, Tony Shalhoub...I like everybody, you guys, even though I've never seen Californication. Alec Baldwin!
Renee Zellweger WHOA her hair is CRAZY and her dress is just...she looks like she should be in a Tim Burton movie, is what I'm saying. A clip from The Reader, which is another one of those "apparently amazing, or something" films I barely know anything about. My awareness of films that are not fan-related: it is lacking.
Megan Fox (I think; I just heard "Transformers") and Terrence Howard for I think Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie: Ralph Fiennes, Paul Giamatti, Kiefer Sutherland, Tom Wilkinson, Kevin Spacey. Anybody but Kiefer Sutherland, guys. Paul, wooooo!
Glenn Close and Lawrence Fishburne, Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy. 30 Rock, Californication, Entourage, The Office, Weeds. Are there ever any musical TV shows? Aside from the US Blackpool, anyway. Which...yeah. 30 Rock!
Pierce Brosnan with a clip from Mamma Mia!. I hear Colin Firth is gay in this movie? That gives me, like twenty times more of a reason to see it.
Kate Beckinsale and, er, some guy, I was busy typing. Best Soundtrack! This is one of those categories I'm weirdly fond of. Benjamin Button, Changeling, Defiance, Slumdog Millionaire, Frost/Nixon (yeah, yeah)...okay I am less fond of it this year, because I have no attachment to any of the nominees. Slumdog wins. I guess that's good, or something?
Jane Krakowski and David Duchovny! You know, Jane Krakowski was in an episode of Due South. That's what I always think of when I hear her name. I'm kinda weird like that. Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy: Kristina Applegate, America Ferrara, Tina Fey, Debra Messing, Mary-Louise Parker. Go Tina or America! Woo, Tina! 30 Rock pretty much wins everything every year, doesn't it? Probably I should go back and watch the rest of it, I never got around to it after the first five episodes or so. "I've always loved the Hollywood Foreign Press, I have all the Hollywood Foreign Press action figures." Hah! "If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, there's this thing called the internet...there's a lot of people there who don't like you! And I'd like to address some of them now." And now she's just listing names and saying "you can suck it!". I think I adore her.
Martin Scorcese, talking about Steven Spielberg. Like...just talking about him. I guess they are doing bits on the Best Directors also? Hey, they're doing tiny clips from all his movies! Are they gonna do AI? My family has a thing about that movie where we are the only people who like it. (Man, I just love the Jurassic Park theme.) HAH, yes, they are! But only a very brief one. Minority Report, too, War of the Worlds...all of the Indiana Jones movies at once. And all the movie's he's produced, too! I still don't get what the point of that was. Oh, now they're introducing him. And giving him a special award or something, I don't know, I'm not really paying attention. I am the best recapper ever. Ohhhh, okay, it's the Cecil B. DeMille award. I reiterate my point. HEY BRIEF GLIMPSE OF GINA TORRES WITH LAWRENCE FISHBURNE! Hiiiiiii! Hi random Olivia Wilde! HUGH! RDJ hiding behind his wife!
I look at car commercials very differently now that I'm into Top Gear. I'm like...okay, but can it race against a pair of French parkour guys? Oh yes, it's all very shiny, but the guy driving in it and yammering on about it is boring as fuck. Why isn't he using overly-long metaphors? Or openly flailing? Or making ridiculous faces?
Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman, hey there! Dustin looks dead; Emma is trying to make up for it mightily. Best Director: Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire, Stephen Daldry for The Reader David Fincher for Benjamin Button, Ron Howard for Frost/Nixon, Sam Mendes for Revolutionary Road. Yeah, I don't care. Danny Boyle gets it. Hey, was that Bradley Whitford? It totally was!
Sigourney Weaver! She's got a clip from Revolutionary Road. I do like stories that portray the 50s as being soul-crushing.
Sandra Bullock with Best Actor In a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy: Javier Bardem, Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell, Dustin Hoffman, and James Franco! Franco won't win, but I like the idea anyway. Colin Farrell gets it. His hair is fierce. It looks like you could cut stuff on it.
A Jell-O commercial and a pudding commercial right next to each other? And then McDonald's desperately trying to convince you it's made out of actual food.
Salma Hayek and her cleavage introducing a clip from Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I pretty much have no desire to see this movie, you guys, and I am not even entirely sure why. I never did like Woody Allen much, I guess.
Sacha Baron Cohen. Huh, he has a kinda weird accent. "Cinemaws." He's pretty much insulting everybody in Hollywood. Best Motion Picture Musical or Comedy: Burn After Reading, Happy-Go-Lucky, In Bruges, Mamma Mia!, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Vicky wins, boooo. I was hoping for In Bruges, if only because I really want to see it. And seriously, what is Happy-Go-Lucky?
I'm seeing a lot of commercials for Friday Night Lights. Does that mean it's doing better ratings-wise? Probably I should see that at some point, what with it being apparently one of the best shows ever and all.
Two people whose names I can't spell, at least one of whom is from Slumdog Millionaire! Probably both of them are. Guess what they're introducing a clip of?
Cameron Diaz and Mark Wahlberg, sad that Entourage didn't win Best Supporting Actor. Best Actress In A Motion Picture Drama: Anne Hathaway, Angelina Jolie, Meryl Streep, Kristin Scott Thomas, Kate Winslet...Kate gets it. I was kind of hoping for Anne Hathaway, not sure why. Oh dear, Kate's having a breakdown, poor girl. *pets her*
Someone from Gossip Girl and Rainn Wilson, who looks kind of...purple? "Let's hear it for the TV actors!" Oh, it's Blake Lively. Aww, they're messing up! Who were the nominees again? They kind of got rushed. Mad Men won. I think this was Best TV Show Or Miniseries, or something. Phooey, no love for Dexter or House.
Susan Sarandon, who is apparently in The Lovely Bones, awesome! Best Actor In A Motion Picture Drama: Leo DiCaprio, Frank Langella, Brad Pitt, Mickey Rourke, Sean Penn. GO SEAN PENN! But it goes to Mickey Rourke. Ah well. He probably deserves it.
Tom Cruise, Best Motion Picture Drama: Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, The Reader, Revolutionary Road, Slumdog Millionaire. And the winner...Slumdog. Yeah, okay, whatever. I probably could have done something more productive with those three hours. Which is why I will now go read fanfic. We all have our definitions of "productive".
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS WINKED AT THE CAMERA. WIN, NEIL. WINNNN. JEREMY PIVEN YOU ARE AWESOME BUT YOU HAVE LIKE TWENTY AWARDS, YOU DON'T NEED ANY MORE. People whose stuff I haven't seen, people whose stuff I haven't seeeeeeen....oh phooey, someone whose stuff I haven't seen won. When will it be your turn, NPH? Someday! Someday.
Another category I don't know at all, but Laura Dern is nice, so I suppose she deserved to win. HEY IT'S HAYDEN PANETTIERE! ...she's brunette now? Man. OOH MICHAEL C HALL, YOU BETTER WIN but probably it will be the Mad Men guy again. No, wait, Hugh Laurie! Michael C. Hall or Hugh Laurie, actually let's just go with Hugh as he--oh come on, Gabriel Byrne? No love for Hugh? There is never enough love for Hugh. (Oh and I kind of fail at not noticing that Zac Efron was her co-presenter, apparently. Look, I was busy thinking about NPH.)
Oooooooh Chris Pine and Zach Quinto! Lookin' sharp, boys. Alas, I haven't seen any of these noms, but I kind of want Anna Paquin to win just because genre omg. HOSHIT SHE ACTUALLY WON. Do the Genre Show dance! Woooooooo!
Ricky Gervais, hey there! Hah, he's insulting everybody. And sad that he's not nominated. ...I'm not good with transcribing, but he just said "That's the last time I have sex with two hundred foreign journalists". Oh, he's introducing a clip from a movie I haven't heard of. Woo!
Jonas Brothers, yadda yadda. Outstanding Animated Feature? Does anybody really think anything besides WALL-E is going to win? Awww, they're showing the bubble-wrap and lightbulb bit. WALL-E wins. What a shocker. Aww, the guy thanked Tom Newman and Peter Gabriel!
Johnny Depp looks kind of stoned. Another category where I haven't seen anything. Meryl Streep or Emma Thompson? Tricky, tricky. Aaand it goes to Sally Hawkins for Happy-Go-Lucky, which I guess is a movie, though they could be making it up entirely for all I know, given that I never heard of it before tonight. She's totally adorable, though, so they seem to be doing a very good job with their deception. Awww, she asked for Emma and Emma looked very reassuring.
Heroes commercial. Rrrrr, it looks like they're pitting Nathan and Peter against each other. *puts fingers in ears*
Jake Gyllenhaal introducing a clip from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I kind of want to see that, really.
Mini-Series or TV Movie, haven't seen any of them, yadda yadda ooh Bernard and Doris that one can win because it's got Susan Sarandon and Ralph Fiennes. Probably it'll go to John Adams, though, because it's "amazing" or something. And, yup, John Adams. Tom Hanks produced it? Huh.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, OH NO. Will it be Crazy Tom Cruise? Crazy Robert Downey Jr.? Or, y'know, that other guy? (Also there are some others but who cares about those. Okay, they are awesome others, but whatevs.) HEATH LEDGER, AND THE AUDIENCE GOES WILD. Chris Nolan's accepting, and it's all very poignant.
Tom Brokaw introducing a clip from Frost/Nixon, and--and I really can't look at that title without thinking Unfortunate Things. Oh dear.
Colin Farrell with Best Foreign Language Film, and I haven't even heard of any of these. No, wait, I've heard of Waltz with Bashir, but I've never seen it. Ooh, it won! Is that the first time an animated movie's won a big category besides, well, Best Animated Feature?
Aaraon Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal for Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie. Go, Laura Linney for John Adams, because you're the only one I'm vaguely familiar with! Or, wait, Susan Sarandon in Bernard and Doris. Oooh, you can never give too many awards to Judi Dench. Laura Linney gets it, good for her.
oooh, there's a cool Target commercial with a comic-booky style, panels and sound effect-words and everything. It's the little things that make me happy.
Gerard Butler introducing a clip from In Bruges. I quite want to see this, actually. I think my Dramatic Writing professor said he was going to show us, wooooo!
Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen, aww! (I...sort of have a crush on that guy. YOU SHUT YOUR FACE.) Best Screenplay, eh? Haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire, Frost/Nixon (UNFORTUNATE THOUGHTS), Benjamin Button, Doubt, and The Reader. So I've seen...none of them. Slumdog wins. I think it's supposed to be amazing, or something? My Dramatic Writing professor didn't like it.
Patrick Dempsey and Amy Poehler, Best Actor in a TV Miniseries, Musical, or Comedy--Alec Baldwin as per usual, Steve Carell, Kevin Connolly, David Duchovny, Tony Shalhoub...I like everybody, you guys, even though I've never seen Californication. Alec Baldwin!
Renee Zellweger WHOA her hair is CRAZY and her dress is just...she looks like she should be in a Tim Burton movie, is what I'm saying. A clip from The Reader, which is another one of those "apparently amazing, or something" films I barely know anything about. My awareness of films that are not fan-related: it is lacking.
Megan Fox (I think; I just heard "Transformers") and Terrence Howard for I think Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie: Ralph Fiennes, Paul Giamatti, Kiefer Sutherland, Tom Wilkinson, Kevin Spacey. Anybody but Kiefer Sutherland, guys. Paul, wooooo!
Glenn Close and Lawrence Fishburne, Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy. 30 Rock, Californication, Entourage, The Office, Weeds. Are there ever any musical TV shows? Aside from the US Blackpool, anyway. Which...yeah. 30 Rock!
Pierce Brosnan with a clip from Mamma Mia!. I hear Colin Firth is gay in this movie? That gives me, like twenty times more of a reason to see it.
Kate Beckinsale and, er, some guy, I was busy typing. Best Soundtrack! This is one of those categories I'm weirdly fond of. Benjamin Button, Changeling, Defiance, Slumdog Millionaire, Frost/Nixon (yeah, yeah)...okay I am less fond of it this year, because I have no attachment to any of the nominees. Slumdog wins. I guess that's good, or something?
Jane Krakowski and David Duchovny! You know, Jane Krakowski was in an episode of Due South. That's what I always think of when I hear her name. I'm kinda weird like that. Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy: Kristina Applegate, America Ferrara, Tina Fey, Debra Messing, Mary-Louise Parker. Go Tina or America! Woo, Tina! 30 Rock pretty much wins everything every year, doesn't it? Probably I should go back and watch the rest of it, I never got around to it after the first five episodes or so. "I've always loved the Hollywood Foreign Press, I have all the Hollywood Foreign Press action figures." Hah! "If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, there's this thing called the internet...there's a lot of people there who don't like you! And I'd like to address some of them now." And now she's just listing names and saying "you can suck it!". I think I adore her.
Martin Scorcese, talking about Steven Spielberg. Like...just talking about him. I guess they are doing bits on the Best Directors also? Hey, they're doing tiny clips from all his movies! Are they gonna do AI? My family has a thing about that movie where we are the only people who like it. (Man, I just love the Jurassic Park theme.) HAH, yes, they are! But only a very brief one. Minority Report, too, War of the Worlds...all of the Indiana Jones movies at once. And all the movie's he's produced, too! I still don't get what the point of that was. Oh, now they're introducing him. And giving him a special award or something, I don't know, I'm not really paying attention. I am the best recapper ever. Ohhhh, okay, it's the Cecil B. DeMille award. I reiterate my point. HEY BRIEF GLIMPSE OF GINA TORRES WITH LAWRENCE FISHBURNE! Hiiiiiii! Hi random Olivia Wilde! HUGH! RDJ hiding behind his wife!
I look at car commercials very differently now that I'm into Top Gear. I'm like...okay, but can it race against a pair of French parkour guys? Oh yes, it's all very shiny, but the guy driving in it and yammering on about it is boring as fuck. Why isn't he using overly-long metaphors? Or openly flailing? Or making ridiculous faces?
Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman, hey there! Dustin looks dead; Emma is trying to make up for it mightily. Best Director: Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire, Stephen Daldry for The Reader David Fincher for Benjamin Button, Ron Howard for Frost/Nixon, Sam Mendes for Revolutionary Road. Yeah, I don't care. Danny Boyle gets it. Hey, was that Bradley Whitford? It totally was!
Sigourney Weaver! She's got a clip from Revolutionary Road. I do like stories that portray the 50s as being soul-crushing.
Sandra Bullock with Best Actor In a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy: Javier Bardem, Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell, Dustin Hoffman, and James Franco! Franco won't win, but I like the idea anyway. Colin Farrell gets it. His hair is fierce. It looks like you could cut stuff on it.
A Jell-O commercial and a pudding commercial right next to each other? And then McDonald's desperately trying to convince you it's made out of actual food.
Salma Hayek and her cleavage introducing a clip from Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I pretty much have no desire to see this movie, you guys, and I am not even entirely sure why. I never did like Woody Allen much, I guess.
Sacha Baron Cohen. Huh, he has a kinda weird accent. "Cinemaws." He's pretty much insulting everybody in Hollywood. Best Motion Picture Musical or Comedy: Burn After Reading, Happy-Go-Lucky, In Bruges, Mamma Mia!, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Vicky wins, boooo. I was hoping for In Bruges, if only because I really want to see it. And seriously, what is Happy-Go-Lucky?
I'm seeing a lot of commercials for Friday Night Lights. Does that mean it's doing better ratings-wise? Probably I should see that at some point, what with it being apparently one of the best shows ever and all.
Two people whose names I can't spell, at least one of whom is from Slumdog Millionaire! Probably both of them are. Guess what they're introducing a clip of?
Cameron Diaz and Mark Wahlberg, sad that Entourage didn't win Best Supporting Actor. Best Actress In A Motion Picture Drama: Anne Hathaway, Angelina Jolie, Meryl Streep, Kristin Scott Thomas, Kate Winslet...Kate gets it. I was kind of hoping for Anne Hathaway, not sure why. Oh dear, Kate's having a breakdown, poor girl. *pets her*
Someone from Gossip Girl and Rainn Wilson, who looks kind of...purple? "Let's hear it for the TV actors!" Oh, it's Blake Lively. Aww, they're messing up! Who were the nominees again? They kind of got rushed. Mad Men won. I think this was Best TV Show Or Miniseries, or something. Phooey, no love for Dexter or House.
Susan Sarandon, who is apparently in The Lovely Bones, awesome! Best Actor In A Motion Picture Drama: Leo DiCaprio, Frank Langella, Brad Pitt, Mickey Rourke, Sean Penn. GO SEAN PENN! But it goes to Mickey Rourke. Ah well. He probably deserves it.
Tom Cruise, Best Motion Picture Drama: Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, The Reader, Revolutionary Road, Slumdog Millionaire. And the winner...Slumdog. Yeah, okay, whatever. I probably could have done something more productive with those three hours. Which is why I will now go read fanfic. We all have our definitions of "productive".