I can't wait to see you, wanna see if you still got that look in your eye..
today was another rough one, but lately..they've all been rough. last night Sarah, Kelly, and I were going to hang out...but as we went to get into Kelly's car, I told Sarah I didn't want to sit in the back..and she said she wasn't either, so, I said fuck it and drove home. I'm so touchy lately...everything makes me angry/sad. at like 12:40 last night, Pat's girlfriend called me.. I left her an IM telling her to call me, and that I didn't know who else to go to. so, she called...and listened as I sobbed and cried. I want to thank her so much for being there for me..because she made me feel a lot better. she reassured me that she does believe he cares, and that she thinks he's scared of falling in love again because his ex(Nicole) put him through so much. he always says "live for the day"..I wish he'd take his own advice. I worked 7:30-3:30 today...and it was hard, but I got through it. I know it's better for me to work and occupy myself so that I don't sit and think. I got off a little early...and I did okay on the whole drive home. usually, on the drive home..I think a lot, and then I break down and cry. however, I started to tear up as I pulled up at my house..because of course, the Corrado was there. I walked in, went to get on the computer and had an IM from Chris saying "I'm sorry about everything, if you ever need anything call me." I immediately broke down crying, called him, got his voicemail, left a message saying that I got his IM...and wanted to know what it was about, said I'd talk to him later..then said, I don't know if I will talk to you. my eyes have been red and puffy for days...I hope this all works out. I have a feeling it will, but I'm really not sure. I love him, I love him as a person...and I know he's not a bad guy. he's just so confused...I just need to talk to him. I can't have him out of my life altogether...and a part of me thinks he feels the same..but I don't know. I hope he will come around, Liz thinks he will. he's such a great person, and it's like..he's become such a significant part of my life, that when he's gone..I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do with myself on the weekends..because I'm so used to being with him. I'm about to go to sleep...I think that's the best remedy for my situation: to just sleep, and sleep...