Oh well...
We on the red team gave it our best shot, but it looks as if that wasn't good enough. We lost. Mom and Piper made cinnamon french toast for me for breakfast this morning, I'm sure the "consolation prize." Mom was worried about me, and I think Piper was too. I was brooding on this a little hard, I admit it. But I just didn't want to say anything yet, because at that point, if I'd opened my mouth to talk about it, it would have come across like sour grapes. And honestly, the loss itself doesn't bother me. You have to win you have to lose that's how life works, right?
But, this was to show us and teach us how to act as a team. And maybe that's something I need some work in, you know? I've always thought of myself as a team player. I mean, for the most part I get along pretty good with most people. I may not be the most popular guy in school, but I have a few friends and a lot of kids say hi to me in the halls. When we play sports, I'm not picked last at least.
But, I can see so many situations in those snowball wars when I could have acted better as a team player. Times where I was trying to be the big shot and do it all, and maybe that was part of our downfall. Maybe if I'd been a little more trusting of everyone else to do their jobs and not felt as if I had to do it all myself.
Pride goeth before a fall.
So, after breakfast, I went up to the roof for a bit. I feel bad, because I didn't even ask Piper if I she wanted to join me, but I wasn't fully sure how I felt, you know? So I went up alone and did some sorting out.
After an hour, she came up with some hot chocolate. "I don't mean to intrude if you want to be alone, but I thought you might like this."
I smiled. "Yeah, I'd love it. And I'd love some company too."
She sat down next to me. I put my arm around her, and we leaned against the chimney, for a few minutes not saying anything. It was tempting to just let it all go, but I knew I'd worried her, so I thought I owed it to her to let her know.
So, I told her my thoughts. How I was worried my own ego had gotten in the way of the snowball wars. I half expected her to laugh and say, "Don't be silly, it was just a training game, not a real war!"
I should have known better. She listened and nodded. "I think part of your problem, Beej, is that you're used to be the protector."
I shook my head. "I was the kid in my time. I mean after awhile, I was the only kid. Well, Gokou was too, but physically I was the only child around. Everyone fought and struggled to protect me, to allow me to have a childhood."
"That's only one side of it," she said. "There's another side too. Your father, he's the one who pushed you up to SSJ4, remember? Even though it was kind of a risky thing to do, he did it."
"Yes... uh, what does that have to do with this?"
"He did it for two reasons. First was because he needed someone to spar with at that level to keep his own beast at bay. The second reason was... to make sure that earth had a protector. A very strong one. I really think, whether he pointed it out or not, he understood and you understood there was a certain responsibility that came with this power."
One thing I really love about Piper is that she doesn't demand an answer right away when she states a theory, because I needed a few minutes to chew on what she said. She just finished her thought and waited while I mulled that over.
And realized she was right, at least about that. I'd never really given it that much thought, but part of me knew when my father pushed me, that there was more to it than just "being the strongest." He opened a door inside of me and gave me something that was both terrible and wonderful. When given power like that, you really only have two choices. You can say that you're the alpha and omega and you can do whatever you want now, and who's going to stop you? That's how you turn evil. The second choice is to realize that you now owe it to the world to watch out for them.
"You're right," I finally said. "I never really thought about it that way, but you're right. When did you get to be so brilliant?"
She smiled. "Beej, I've felt the same way myself lots of times. No, I might not be nearly at SSJ4 level, but up until recently, I was one of the protectors of the galaxy. Beej, did you notice that I wasn't exactly living with a lot of people? I was alone with my ship most of the time. I'm not too used to this family/friends/team philosophys either."
I nodded slowly. I mean, she's telling me stuff I already knew, but never really thought about at least not in that way. I mean, we're always talking about how unusual it is for us to have so many folks around us now. Me? I always had a few people. My dad, my father, Auntie Bulma for awhile, Gokou, my dad, Gogeta and Vegeto when they were around, but still, when you look at the size of the world, that's not a lot of people.
And I withdrew from humanity. I didn't like watching people die or go crazy or both.
But now we're both here. And no one is dying. The half Saiyajins, the humans, everyone is fine. I don't have to protect these people. In fact, if anything, they've needed to protect me. Mostly from myself, I admit, but still, protection is protection. I mean, Gokou learned how to go to SSJ4, just so I'd have someone to spar with. I know, Gokou gets off on power, but I think even he knew this was a risky proposition to take. But he did it.
"So," I finally said. "I guess we've both got a lot to learn, huh?"
Piper smiled. "Yes, we do. But I think we've done a pretty good job so far. I mean, we did really good on the Froster mission. We held it together and we worked it out as a team. And we're getting used to work with everyone here. It's not just about fighting either. Look at the playground." At this point she paused to point to the playground, where yesterday, Dad had cleared off a lot of the snow so the little ones wouldn't sink down too far. "We built that, Beej. All of us, we built it. Together. And we didn't fight when we were doing it, we worked it out, we built it as a team effort."
I smiled too, remembering the weekends we devoted to that playground and how much fun it had been. Work yes, but fun too. Music, cookouts, arguments over how to do things that never lasted very long. And I was as much a part of that as anyone else. "But," I pointed out. "In that situation, I didn't have to protect anyone."
"Which proves my point. You can do fine in a team if you don't feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. And I think, with time, you'll even do better when it comes to the fighting stuff. You just have to give it time. You didn't fail today, even though the red team lost. Not if you learned something to help you in the future."
You know, Piper has a real gift for making me feel better.
We let the conversation drift off a bit onto other things, but after a bit, we went back into the house to let Mom know everything was cool. She gave us cookies!
And it wasn't until just now that I realized I never thanked her. So, Piper, better late than never. Thanks for putting up with me today.