You're not Dreaming
Sources close to me have provided insider information that yet another Freddy Krueger movie will be appearing in theaters within the next 3 months, marking the 70th edition in as many years. These sources have revealed that this edition will be entirely different than the previous incarnations due to a splash of new character development. And by character development, I mean a more diversified cast. It has been said that the actor to be playing Freddy will be none other than Seal, accomplished burn victim/musician. This addition of Seal was inacted in order to broaden the movie's demographic. As you may have gathered, horror movies greatly reduce widespread appeal due to the lack of realism associated with their plots. By adding a horribly scarred black man, the company expects to frighten more suburban white boys, while also appealing to the African American community, akin to the horror flicks "Barbershop 1 & 2" and "Radio". The end result--cash money yall. Here is what to expect to see in the movie:
Expect cameo appearances to be made by Wayne Brady and Christopher Reeve. Additionally, Corporate sponsors may include cosmetics giants LofoReal and Covergrrl. There will be much more to come on this story in the next coming months. Stay tuned.
-Jim Kleimann reporting live for Boozeweek
Expect cameo appearances to be made by Wayne Brady and Christopher Reeve. Additionally, Corporate sponsors may include cosmetics giants LofoReal and Covergrrl. There will be much more to come on this story in the next coming months. Stay tuned.
-Jim Kleimann reporting live for Boozeweek