cardiac partaaay!
I'm writing about this here because frankly, I am kind of oddly picky about what I write on Facebook, where more people who would want to know some of this information might read. But I haven't curated my friends list on Facebook appropriately, so here we are.
My dad has had health issues for the past two years -- I mean, had them before that, really, but things have been getting increasingly weird for 2 years, especially around breathing and catching his breath. He'd done the GP, the cardiologist, the allergist, the GI doctor, etc -- he'd built a spreadsheet with all the side effects of all his medications and brought that to the doctor showing that 10-13 medicines listed "shortness of breath" as a symptom.
Talking to dad he would explain how he almost never slept more than 1-2 hours at a time, sometimes only 4-8 hours in a given week. He sleeps briefly and then "rests," sitting still but awake in a chair, explaining that that gives him enough to 'reset' his brain. I don't see my dad a ton, but I'd heard stories about how difficult it was for him to get around, walking. He retired in July and I'd made some comments about us getting together, even him coming up to NYC for a visit, and I had sensed some illness concerns in his "oh, maybe another time" denial.
A cousin came to visit my dad two Fridays ago and they went to the horse races and the casino; they made dinner out on the deck. She would go to bed and my dad would stay up, walking the house, sitting in his chair, until she got up the next morning. Dad said he hadn't sleep from Friday to Monday, and that he "felt off," in a way that made him want to go to the ED rather than wait for his regular doctor (Me: "Felt off? Did your chest hurt?" Him: "Oh, I'm so used to chest pains I don't let them bother me."). He got up Monday AM, waited until the roofers he hired were finished with their multi-day project on his house, and then after a tiny bit of tidying he got in his car to drive himself to the hospital He was in the hospital a bit more than 24 hours when he finally texted us kids that he was going in for open heart surgery on Friday. He was texting back and forth with my little sister from the hospital on Monday without mentioning that he'd been admitted.
My little sister and I met up at Trenton and went to the hospital Wednesday. Though he was clearly anxious, at the same time he seemed to feel better and be in better spirits than in recent weeks: mostly because finally he was on medications that we think were targeting core symptoms.
On Friday he had a triple bypass and a valve removal. In the largest strokes the work of the surgery itself seems to have finished okay, but during and after surgery he was unable to oxygenate his blood enough to make it read 'normal,' and so he remained on the ventilator post-surgery. As of today, he has been on the ventilator about 4 days; while most vitals remain stable, last night and today there are odd and disconcerting reports from the nurses that despite lowering his sedation, he is remaining more nonresponsive -- he's not doing the same "hey, get this tube out of my throat" stuff he did earlier in the process whenever they lowered sedation.
Since he can't really acknowledge if he is aware of others, and he's in the cardiac ICU which means brief visits, it has been a strange few days. Dislocated to my dad's house, poking in to his room 2-3 times a day for a few minutes, waiting to get a hold of doctors. Trying to decide if any of the scattered story elements make up a 'narrative' that would help me figure out how anxious or hopeful or tired to be.
For a few days I distracted myself to some degree with the 'vacation' story -- A12 and I had planned our first real vacation in about two years for this week, and we moved from 'delaying' it to cancelling yesterday. My older sister was scheduled for vacation with her daughters Saturday through Wednesday and she went, after a little uncertainty. For the past few days it has been simple for me to say, "oh, there's slow movement in the right direction," but I think we are at or close to the stage where it is no longer going to be okay for dad to be 'behind the curve.'Or maybe this is just how his pace is going to be.
Anyhoo, writing this here rather than more publicly but appreciative of eyes on it. :) Trundling on.
My dad has had health issues for the past two years -- I mean, had them before that, really, but things have been getting increasingly weird for 2 years, especially around breathing and catching his breath. He'd done the GP, the cardiologist, the allergist, the GI doctor, etc -- he'd built a spreadsheet with all the side effects of all his medications and brought that to the doctor showing that 10-13 medicines listed "shortness of breath" as a symptom.
Talking to dad he would explain how he almost never slept more than 1-2 hours at a time, sometimes only 4-8 hours in a given week. He sleeps briefly and then "rests," sitting still but awake in a chair, explaining that that gives him enough to 'reset' his brain. I don't see my dad a ton, but I'd heard stories about how difficult it was for him to get around, walking. He retired in July and I'd made some comments about us getting together, even him coming up to NYC for a visit, and I had sensed some illness concerns in his "oh, maybe another time" denial.
A cousin came to visit my dad two Fridays ago and they went to the horse races and the casino; they made dinner out on the deck. She would go to bed and my dad would stay up, walking the house, sitting in his chair, until she got up the next morning. Dad said he hadn't sleep from Friday to Monday, and that he "felt off," in a way that made him want to go to the ED rather than wait for his regular doctor (Me: "Felt off? Did your chest hurt?" Him: "Oh, I'm so used to chest pains I don't let them bother me."). He got up Monday AM, waited until the roofers he hired were finished with their multi-day project on his house, and then after a tiny bit of tidying he got in his car to drive himself to the hospital He was in the hospital a bit more than 24 hours when he finally texted us kids that he was going in for open heart surgery on Friday. He was texting back and forth with my little sister from the hospital on Monday without mentioning that he'd been admitted.
My little sister and I met up at Trenton and went to the hospital Wednesday. Though he was clearly anxious, at the same time he seemed to feel better and be in better spirits than in recent weeks: mostly because finally he was on medications that we think were targeting core symptoms.
On Friday he had a triple bypass and a valve removal. In the largest strokes the work of the surgery itself seems to have finished okay, but during and after surgery he was unable to oxygenate his blood enough to make it read 'normal,' and so he remained on the ventilator post-surgery. As of today, he has been on the ventilator about 4 days; while most vitals remain stable, last night and today there are odd and disconcerting reports from the nurses that despite lowering his sedation, he is remaining more nonresponsive -- he's not doing the same "hey, get this tube out of my throat" stuff he did earlier in the process whenever they lowered sedation.
Since he can't really acknowledge if he is aware of others, and he's in the cardiac ICU which means brief visits, it has been a strange few days. Dislocated to my dad's house, poking in to his room 2-3 times a day for a few minutes, waiting to get a hold of doctors. Trying to decide if any of the scattered story elements make up a 'narrative' that would help me figure out how anxious or hopeful or tired to be.
For a few days I distracted myself to some degree with the 'vacation' story -- A12 and I had planned our first real vacation in about two years for this week, and we moved from 'delaying' it to cancelling yesterday. My older sister was scheduled for vacation with her daughters Saturday through Wednesday and she went, after a little uncertainty. For the past few days it has been simple for me to say, "oh, there's slow movement in the right direction," but I think we are at or close to the stage where it is no longer going to be okay for dad to be 'behind the curve.'Or maybe this is just how his pace is going to be.
Anyhoo, writing this here rather than more publicly but appreciative of eyes on it. :) Trundling on.