Wrong tree, you're barking it up!
Erm. Hi. It's been a while.
I've gotten a couple of concerned emails asking if I was okay because I hadn’t posted in a while (about 2 weeks, which, as you know is a long time for me). Funny thing is, I hadn’t even missed not posting. I haven’t been particularly busy or overwhelmed with work or life or anything like that - the things that usually prevent me from posting or updating or making the most inane observations or posts. In fact, for the most part, I’ve been pretty bored.
Big Brother ended on the 12th, and for a few days or so I was going through a decompression period. When something’s been your number 1 distraction 24/7 for two and a half months, it’s hard to suddenly not have something take up all of your attention. Add to that the unbelievable speculation of Will and Janelle (btw, they're a done deal, both are with their respective SOs again) that's been going on since the show ended, and it just kept pulling me back in when all I wanted to do was get back to my life. However, it did allow me to finish my one and only Janelle/Will songvid. If you'd care to see it, it's here. I'm pretty proud of it, even though it now makes me want to weep over it all. Those bastards.
Fandom-wise, I have tons of other things to keep me busy. I have Justin’s new CD and crazy publicity tour that I’m trying to stay on top of. New pictures and video files everywhere! I have season 3 of The Office coming up this week (omg Thursday!) that has me so excited I can barely stand it (and if anyone still needs to download seasons 1 & 2, let me know). I got The Office season 2 DVDs last week and I've been swooning over some of the deleted scenes - omg, Jim's best and worst first date was with Pam! omg! I have the upcoming Stargate convention and the meeting of Saturn in November to be all sad and excited about. I have JC showing up at various fashion shows and record release parties looking stunning and positively adorable, even without the Leo (*sob*). And my god, Lance is writing a book and Choey is on the radio together telling stories and having fun? There’s just lots of other things to keep my attention.
But they’re just not. I've only been able to listen to the first half of Justin's album, that's how completely comatose I've been. I have nobody to blame but myself, for I have no desire to really care about anything that's fun.
I’ve been out of the LJ/fandom loop for over two months. I haven’t put anything up for download in months, either. And I’m sure people assume that I don’t care at all about the sparkly boys or anything superfun anymore. But I do. You should’ve seen me react to JC and Justin performing together a few weeks ago (Jessa was here, she can prove it!). I don’t think you could’ve contained my squeals and my joy. But I didn’t post about it, I’m not sure why. I can assure everyone, though, that just because I don’t post about something, doesn’t mean I don’t still love it with all my heart. It just means that I didn't post about it.
A huge reason for my seeming lack of enthusiasm in other parts of my life is my current situation at work. I’ve been so unmotivated the last few weeks that I’m about ready to quit. I can’t really do that, but I think I’ve hit that place that I always knew I’d hit - the place where I just can’t handle it any more. Not because it’s difficult or even too stressful, but because it bores me and I feel like a lump on a log answering phones and dealing with the same crap every day/every month. My brain is hardly being stimulated, and I miss that. I'm not treated poorly, in fact, my relationships with my co-workers get better every day. But I just hate the monotonous, brain-draining days. I hate feeling bad every day because of the situations of my tenants. So I'm in the middle of trying to figure out how to go about getting certification and looking for a new job (and a new apartment) while still being indebted to my current bosses. It's VERY stressful.
The newest development that's been taking place just this week is that I have a stalker. I wish it was a joke, I wish this wasn't like a bad movie of the week, but it's true. He was trying to get into my apartment last night. This is nothing to joke about and frankly I've been an emotional mess all week because of it. It's work-related and it's scaring me to death. Thank god my daddy lives upstairs or else I'd be in a loony bin right now. Police have been called and reports have been made, but I have no idea what's going to happen. I don't really want to get into details, but just know that if I'm ignoring your emails, it's because most of the time I've been curled up on my couch with my phone in one hand and a knife in the other. No joke.
I'm doing my best to keep in touch with missria and Koko because they're my safe places. Koko, I've just known forever and she's shockingly so much like me that it's comforting, and she helps me forget about bad stuff. Ria is my little Mango, I could never not talk to her (except that ignored her text on Monday, sorry!). If I ever do, then you'll know there's a problem. Plus, I don't want to drop off the face of the earth. But overall, a lot of my reasons for not being very involved in anything online comes from me being a bit concerned with the rest of my life and it’s carrying over into my posting frequency. I don’t know what that means, but I think I may have to concentrate on the former before worrying about the latter.
I don't know if anyone really cares about all this, but I felt bad that I hadn't posted in so long and I wanted to explain why. Jessa, I love you, thank you for the email, and I'll get that file to you today. Eva, I love you dearly as well and I hope you can understand why I couldn't get to your email. I'm so glad you're back home and I'm going to try to do your email today.
xoxo to everyone.
I've gotten a couple of concerned emails asking if I was okay because I hadn’t posted in a while (about 2 weeks, which, as you know is a long time for me). Funny thing is, I hadn’t even missed not posting. I haven’t been particularly busy or overwhelmed with work or life or anything like that - the things that usually prevent me from posting or updating or making the most inane observations or posts. In fact, for the most part, I’ve been pretty bored.
Big Brother ended on the 12th, and for a few days or so I was going through a decompression period. When something’s been your number 1 distraction 24/7 for two and a half months, it’s hard to suddenly not have something take up all of your attention. Add to that the unbelievable speculation of Will and Janelle (btw, they're a done deal, both are with their respective SOs again) that's been going on since the show ended, and it just kept pulling me back in when all I wanted to do was get back to my life. However, it did allow me to finish my one and only Janelle/Will songvid. If you'd care to see it, it's here. I'm pretty proud of it, even though it now makes me want to weep over it all. Those bastards.
Fandom-wise, I have tons of other things to keep me busy. I have Justin’s new CD and crazy publicity tour that I’m trying to stay on top of. New pictures and video files everywhere! I have season 3 of The Office coming up this week (omg Thursday!) that has me so excited I can barely stand it (and if anyone still needs to download seasons 1 & 2, let me know). I got The Office season 2 DVDs last week and I've been swooning over some of the deleted scenes - omg, Jim's best and worst first date was with Pam! omg! I have the upcoming Stargate convention and the meeting of Saturn in November to be all sad and excited about. I have JC showing up at various fashion shows and record release parties looking stunning and positively adorable, even without the Leo (*sob*). And my god, Lance is writing a book and Choey is on the radio together telling stories and having fun? There’s just lots of other things to keep my attention.
But they’re just not. I've only been able to listen to the first half of Justin's album, that's how completely comatose I've been. I have nobody to blame but myself, for I have no desire to really care about anything that's fun.
I’ve been out of the LJ/fandom loop for over two months. I haven’t put anything up for download in months, either. And I’m sure people assume that I don’t care at all about the sparkly boys or anything superfun anymore. But I do. You should’ve seen me react to JC and Justin performing together a few weeks ago (Jessa was here, she can prove it!). I don’t think you could’ve contained my squeals and my joy. But I didn’t post about it, I’m not sure why. I can assure everyone, though, that just because I don’t post about something, doesn’t mean I don’t still love it with all my heart. It just means that I didn't post about it.
A huge reason for my seeming lack of enthusiasm in other parts of my life is my current situation at work. I’ve been so unmotivated the last few weeks that I’m about ready to quit. I can’t really do that, but I think I’ve hit that place that I always knew I’d hit - the place where I just can’t handle it any more. Not because it’s difficult or even too stressful, but because it bores me and I feel like a lump on a log answering phones and dealing with the same crap every day/every month. My brain is hardly being stimulated, and I miss that. I'm not treated poorly, in fact, my relationships with my co-workers get better every day. But I just hate the monotonous, brain-draining days. I hate feeling bad every day because of the situations of my tenants. So I'm in the middle of trying to figure out how to go about getting certification and looking for a new job (and a new apartment) while still being indebted to my current bosses. It's VERY stressful.
The newest development that's been taking place just this week is that I have a stalker. I wish it was a joke, I wish this wasn't like a bad movie of the week, but it's true. He was trying to get into my apartment last night. This is nothing to joke about and frankly I've been an emotional mess all week because of it. It's work-related and it's scaring me to death. Thank god my daddy lives upstairs or else I'd be in a loony bin right now. Police have been called and reports have been made, but I have no idea what's going to happen. I don't really want to get into details, but just know that if I'm ignoring your emails, it's because most of the time I've been curled up on my couch with my phone in one hand and a knife in the other. No joke.
I'm doing my best to keep in touch with missria and Koko because they're my safe places. Koko, I've just known forever and she's shockingly so much like me that it's comforting, and she helps me forget about bad stuff. Ria is my little Mango, I could never not talk to her (except that ignored her text on Monday, sorry!). If I ever do, then you'll know there's a problem. Plus, I don't want to drop off the face of the earth. But overall, a lot of my reasons for not being very involved in anything online comes from me being a bit concerned with the rest of my life and it’s carrying over into my posting frequency. I don’t know what that means, but I think I may have to concentrate on the former before worrying about the latter.
I don't know if anyone really cares about all this, but I felt bad that I hadn't posted in so long and I wanted to explain why. Jessa, I love you, thank you for the email, and I'll get that file to you today. Eva, I love you dearly as well and I hope you can understand why I couldn't get to your email. I'm so glad you're back home and I'm going to try to do your email today.
xoxo to everyone.