i.am.so.stupid.
This summer is getting off to an absolutely horrid start. All because I can't fucking say no. I knew it was wrong to let him into my house at midnight. I knew it was wrong when we fell asleep together in my bed. I knew it was wrong the whole time, all of it. But what did I do? I DID! And all the wrong just multiplied when my mom went into my closet, and found him. Hiding. In the skirt of my dress. My mother is more disappointed in me than she ever has been. She can't even make eye contact with me without crying. I hate myself. I didn't even want to do it. But I liked him. So much. And after it all happened, I told him. And all he had to say was "Well, I'm not the relationship type" and "We would never date anyway" THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Last time I checked, that was something you tell someone BEFORE they ruin their summer for you. Thank you oh so much for making me think you were worth any of this, for leading me on, and for bailing on me at the first hint of emotion. You're wonderful. Please go fuck yourself now.