Thoughts About Alcohol
Today I was thinking about alcohol.
![]()
Most people have tried it, or drink it on occasion in high school. Most people drink it fairly regularly in college or after high school. After 21, it's hard to find a person who doesn't partake in a regular beer or wine at dinner/after work, and regularly enjoys applying liquid courage at a party or a bar with friends. (Those with religious convictions are excepted.)
I am certainly not normal. I had my first drink at a Super Bowl party in January of 2001. I was 20. I didn't have another until my 21st birthday, 10 months later. True, I was pregnant not long after that Super Bowl party, but I'd never really felt the urge, nor been pressured to drink. In 2006, I went to a bar with friends - it was the first time I ever got drunk, and unsurprisingly, the first time I blacked out. (More on that night here: http://funnibunni80.livejournal.com/41655.html) Times are different for me now. I'm pregnant, and don't really miss alcohol at all, and I know that I will have no problems abstaining for the rest of my pregnancy, nor while I'm nursing. But at the same time, I enjoyed a semi-regular drink in the evenings. It tasted good, I relaxed, and well, it was nice. :) Occasionally, I partied. For me, I partied pretty hard, and it was filled with alcohol and awesomeness :)
So here's my deal. Being drunk is FUN. I enjoy it. I run with a crowd that HIGHLY prizes alcohol, and gets drunk with great abandon. When I'm at event, (or at a party) I'm MORE than happy to join in the fun, recognizing that I may have gaps in my memory when I awake... or perhaps find myself with a new husband, as I did back in 2012. :) (Best event ever!!!) I don't have a problem with people who drink more or less than I. I don't take issue with those who make stupid decisions while drunk, or who open their mouth and let unfiltered things roll out of it. (Lord knows I have been guilty of this!)
What I DO take issue with, is when it begins to have a significant impact on your/my/our/someone-close-to-me's life.
Let's take my husband for example. (You don't mind, right honey?) He drinks. He drinks a LOT. He has since he was a very young teenager. It's not hard for him to take out a 6-pack one evening after work, and be mournful that the beer is all gone in a couple hours. In fact, he can handle an 18-pack in one evening with no problem at all. He drinks a LOT LOT. It started to become an issue because we were spending a lot of money on alcohol. It became a bigger issue when I started trying to limit his alcohol intake. (That didn't go to well.) it became a very prominent issue when his behavior started causing us to fight when he'd had too much. (We're not talking a 6-pack here, folks!) We talked about it, and HE (not I) made the decision that he was going to quit, because it was impacting our lives in a negative way. Also, it made him feel out of control - like he COULDN'T quit drinking, until the alcohol around him was gone, rather than deciding that he'd had enough of his own regard.
He purchased his last 6-pack of beer on 12/18/2012. Since then, he's had ONE beer, split a bottle of wine with my mother, and had a glass of wine the other night at dinner. That's IT. Am I proud of him? Hell yes. Is it necessary that he remain sober forever? Hell no! I just want him to be happy, in control, and for alcohol to be a fun occasional addition to our lives, rather than something that impacts it negatively.
So, herein lies my own point. I do not and cannot understand, for the life of me, why someone who is allowing alcohol to negatively impact their life continues to allow it do so. Maybe addiction is what I don't understand. Sure, some people go out and party hard and often. You wake up the next morning (maybe a little later than normal) you might have a hangover, but you get up. You go to work. You take care of your kids, you make food, and you move on with your life. If you drink so much what you cannot do these things, what does that say about the effect alcohol has on you? If you have to sleep ALL day - not til noon, but until the sun goes down again, that is not good. If you're starting or participating in fights with family or friends because of your drunken attitude - well, it happens, right? But if it's happening over and over... you have a problem, and it's only going to get worse. If you find you can't get up, can't go to work, can't take care of your kids, can't meet other obligations, and/or are having relationship problems because of being drunk or hungover... then that is a BIG ASS RED FLAG right there. You need help, and you need to be a big enough person to admit it, at least to yourself.
Now, I have NO problem with alcohol in my house. I have no problem with alcohol around my kids. In fact, I see it as an important life lesson to expose my children to alcohol. Look, Mom and Step-dad can have a beer or glass of wine or drink with dinner, or in the evening, and it's no big deal. I can have a couple drinks to relax with my kids about me, and giggle too much, or laugh too loud, and it's not a big deal. Alcohol can be, and is, fun IN MODERATION. But you know what? If my kids are around and I'm going to let myself get falling-down blackout drunk, then they sure as hell are having someone watch them, and they are going to be away from me. Or, they will be safely stowed in their tents, away from the madness and partying. Come 8am, no matter how wild the night before, when they want pancakes and bacon I'll be stumbling out of my tent to make it. I may be wondering where all the glitter or whatnot came from, but I'll be making breakfast because it's MY JOB. No amount of playtime the night before excuses me from that fact. Not is allowing my kids to witness deplorable behavior due to alcohol.
When I was about 11 or 12, I saw someone close to me get really trashed. Falling down, raging, screaming, making a HUGE public scene in front of me trashed. It was really scary, to see someone I know, someone so smart, calm, cool, and collected, someone who was an adult and in authority of me, act in that manner. Wild and out of control, this person was far enough gone that they attempted to jump from a moving vehicle. Had they been successful, there would have been serious injury to that person. I never, ever forgot how scary it was. Maybe that's why I was so cautious as a teen about alcohol. Maybe not. I don't know. But here I am, more than 20 years later, and I still think, never in a million years will that be me. Have I ever been that trashed? I'm not sure. I have made a scene in public, but recounted, my friends have always laughed at my antics. I have gotten really emotional, screamed and yelled at times... but never in front of someone impressionable. To me, that is unacceptable. I'm not perfect my any means, but at least I am responsible about then I choose to act less-than-responsible.
Gosh this is a long rant.
I guess when it comes down to it, if you're drunk often, but it's not having a negative impact on your life, more power to you. But take a good long look, and ask around to be sure. If you find it IS having a negative impact, then for the love of Pete, DO SOMETHING. Quit, cut back, talk to someone, join a support group, SOMETHING. Because until you do, it's not going to get any better, and it just may get a whole hell of a lot worse, for you, and those around you too. That is something that no one wants. :(
To my husband, I'm proud of you for not only admitting you have a problem, but for stopping it in its tracks. :) I'm really lucky to have someone like you in my life. :) You seem to have quit all your vices in the past couple years- I hope you don't miss them :D
Most people have tried it, or drink it on occasion in high school. Most people drink it fairly regularly in college or after high school. After 21, it's hard to find a person who doesn't partake in a regular beer or wine at dinner/after work, and regularly enjoys applying liquid courage at a party or a bar with friends. (Those with religious convictions are excepted.)
I am certainly not normal. I had my first drink at a Super Bowl party in January of 2001. I was 20. I didn't have another until my 21st birthday, 10 months later. True, I was pregnant not long after that Super Bowl party, but I'd never really felt the urge, nor been pressured to drink. In 2006, I went to a bar with friends - it was the first time I ever got drunk, and unsurprisingly, the first time I blacked out. (More on that night here: http://funnibunni80.livejournal.com/41655.html) Times are different for me now. I'm pregnant, and don't really miss alcohol at all, and I know that I will have no problems abstaining for the rest of my pregnancy, nor while I'm nursing. But at the same time, I enjoyed a semi-regular drink in the evenings. It tasted good, I relaxed, and well, it was nice. :) Occasionally, I partied. For me, I partied pretty hard, and it was filled with alcohol and awesomeness :)
So here's my deal. Being drunk is FUN. I enjoy it. I run with a crowd that HIGHLY prizes alcohol, and gets drunk with great abandon. When I'm at event, (or at a party) I'm MORE than happy to join in the fun, recognizing that I may have gaps in my memory when I awake... or perhaps find myself with a new husband, as I did back in 2012. :) (Best event ever!!!) I don't have a problem with people who drink more or less than I. I don't take issue with those who make stupid decisions while drunk, or who open their mouth and let unfiltered things roll out of it. (Lord knows I have been guilty of this!)
What I DO take issue with, is when it begins to have a significant impact on your/my/our/someone-close-to-me's life.
Let's take my husband for example. (You don't mind, right honey?) He drinks. He drinks a LOT. He has since he was a very young teenager. It's not hard for him to take out a 6-pack one evening after work, and be mournful that the beer is all gone in a couple hours. In fact, he can handle an 18-pack in one evening with no problem at all. He drinks a LOT LOT. It started to become an issue because we were spending a lot of money on alcohol. It became a bigger issue when I started trying to limit his alcohol intake. (That didn't go to well.) it became a very prominent issue when his behavior started causing us to fight when he'd had too much. (We're not talking a 6-pack here, folks!) We talked about it, and HE (not I) made the decision that he was going to quit, because it was impacting our lives in a negative way. Also, it made him feel out of control - like he COULDN'T quit drinking, until the alcohol around him was gone, rather than deciding that he'd had enough of his own regard.
He purchased his last 6-pack of beer on 12/18/2012. Since then, he's had ONE beer, split a bottle of wine with my mother, and had a glass of wine the other night at dinner. That's IT. Am I proud of him? Hell yes. Is it necessary that he remain sober forever? Hell no! I just want him to be happy, in control, and for alcohol to be a fun occasional addition to our lives, rather than something that impacts it negatively.
So, herein lies my own point. I do not and cannot understand, for the life of me, why someone who is allowing alcohol to negatively impact their life continues to allow it do so. Maybe addiction is what I don't understand. Sure, some people go out and party hard and often. You wake up the next morning (maybe a little later than normal) you might have a hangover, but you get up. You go to work. You take care of your kids, you make food, and you move on with your life. If you drink so much what you cannot do these things, what does that say about the effect alcohol has on you? If you have to sleep ALL day - not til noon, but until the sun goes down again, that is not good. If you're starting or participating in fights with family or friends because of your drunken attitude - well, it happens, right? But if it's happening over and over... you have a problem, and it's only going to get worse. If you find you can't get up, can't go to work, can't take care of your kids, can't meet other obligations, and/or are having relationship problems because of being drunk or hungover... then that is a BIG ASS RED FLAG right there. You need help, and you need to be a big enough person to admit it, at least to yourself.
Now, I have NO problem with alcohol in my house. I have no problem with alcohol around my kids. In fact, I see it as an important life lesson to expose my children to alcohol. Look, Mom and Step-dad can have a beer or glass of wine or drink with dinner, or in the evening, and it's no big deal. I can have a couple drinks to relax with my kids about me, and giggle too much, or laugh too loud, and it's not a big deal. Alcohol can be, and is, fun IN MODERATION. But you know what? If my kids are around and I'm going to let myself get falling-down blackout drunk, then they sure as hell are having someone watch them, and they are going to be away from me. Or, they will be safely stowed in their tents, away from the madness and partying. Come 8am, no matter how wild the night before, when they want pancakes and bacon I'll be stumbling out of my tent to make it. I may be wondering where all the glitter or whatnot came from, but I'll be making breakfast because it's MY JOB. No amount of playtime the night before excuses me from that fact. Not is allowing my kids to witness deplorable behavior due to alcohol.
When I was about 11 or 12, I saw someone close to me get really trashed. Falling down, raging, screaming, making a HUGE public scene in front of me trashed. It was really scary, to see someone I know, someone so smart, calm, cool, and collected, someone who was an adult and in authority of me, act in that manner. Wild and out of control, this person was far enough gone that they attempted to jump from a moving vehicle. Had they been successful, there would have been serious injury to that person. I never, ever forgot how scary it was. Maybe that's why I was so cautious as a teen about alcohol. Maybe not. I don't know. But here I am, more than 20 years later, and I still think, never in a million years will that be me. Have I ever been that trashed? I'm not sure. I have made a scene in public, but recounted, my friends have always laughed at my antics. I have gotten really emotional, screamed and yelled at times... but never in front of someone impressionable. To me, that is unacceptable. I'm not perfect my any means, but at least I am responsible about then I choose to act less-than-responsible.
Gosh this is a long rant.
I guess when it comes down to it, if you're drunk often, but it's not having a negative impact on your life, more power to you. But take a good long look, and ask around to be sure. If you find it IS having a negative impact, then for the love of Pete, DO SOMETHING. Quit, cut back, talk to someone, join a support group, SOMETHING. Because until you do, it's not going to get any better, and it just may get a whole hell of a lot worse, for you, and those around you too. That is something that no one wants. :(
To my husband, I'm proud of you for not only admitting you have a problem, but for stopping it in its tracks. :) I'm really lucky to have someone like you in my life. :) You seem to have quit all your vices in the past couple years- I hope you don't miss them :D