I'm a miracle, there's no doubt about it...might take a lazy girl to get me started
Okay so here's da skinz for the past coupla days...So still no place yet, I have no idea what we're going to do. And seeing as how I'm completley broke, I have no other choice but to move in with christine, cobs, and chaz, which really sucks, cuz I'm going to miss having my own room, and a bed to sleep in. FUCK. Hopefully my parents will either sell/give the jetta, that would make things a lot easier. Spent basically half of my paycheck within the first 24 hours of having it, but I got a new piece to add to my collection...a nice bubbler...so it makes for a satisfactory consolation prize.
Me and James are boys again, which is fucking awesome. It's just like old times, except now we make fun of christine too, occasionally...that's bad I know, but there's just no point in denying certain humorous aspects of the whole situation. Like, sometimes she'll try to joke with him like nothing had really happened, and his response will have this subtle undercurrent of venom in it, and it makes me smile cuz I've never seen that from James before. That and I'll just look at christine and think "Ha bitch! How does it feel being the center of all the negative attention? How does it feel to be the cause of akward silences and situations?" Yeah, that's bad that I think that..but oh well. I also know that even though I don't have the right to be, I feel vindicted. Like, now they've had a taste of what I was going through, sort of. Christine especially. I wonder what's going through her head, now that she's on the receiving end for once. But all that is just water now..everything is as it should be. Christine and I shouldn't be together, which has been no secret for awhile now, christine and james shouldn't be together either, at least not at the moment, and james and I should still be boys. So while nobody got exactly what they thought they wanted, everything turned out they way it should have, I think. And that, my friends, is that.
Nothing really exciting in the love-life arena...the whole Geri situation kinda went *makes rasberry sound*, which sucks because shes cool and all, and it seemed like she was really into me. But the thing is, I really don't want a girlfriend right now. I mean, sure it would be nice and everything, but I don't want to fall into that whole rebound turned relationship trap again. That was one of the things that got me into the mess I am in today...amanda was a rebound from becca, then that relationship got all serious, then went to shit, and then christine was a rebound from amanda, and I guess we all know how that turned out. I just want the connection, and even though I'm sure most of you will probably call bullshit, it doesn't even have to have sex involved. In fact, I don't want it to. I just want to be able to be chill with the girl, get fucked up once in awhile, and have some good conversations with. Someone to go on adventures with, ya know? Like, I don't want to even flirt with the idea of being in a relationship with this girl, which is never going to happen, because every time I meet a girl, I always at least consider it. So yeah, if you're a female and you're friends with me, then I've probably thought of you in some kind of relationship sense. Now, nothing serious or anything, but little "what ifs?" here and there. Shit like that. And the thing is, I don't think I can help it. It just happens automatically. So basically, that particular goal is pretty much fucked. Seriously, I think I just might go gay. Well, wait...scratch that...maybe I'll just pretend to be gay..cuz I'm really not to keen on touching other dudes genetalia or anything, and there ain't gonna be no "whos the pitcher and catcher" shit going on...it just, girls are confusing, complicated, and usually more full of bullshit than I am. So I figure, eliminate the problem right? and it's not about sex or anything, so I don't have to worry about actually DOING anything, and the whole being gay thing will keep me from being able to get with girls romantically or physically.
Ya know, that is actually a really, really stupid idea.....but then again, the simplest ideas right? But no, I know this 'soul mate' of mine is out there somewhere. I can feel it...sometimes it seems like shes right near by but I'm completely missing it. I'm trying not to actually be on the look-out, or search for it, but the harder I try not to, the more I wind up thinking about it. FUCK. Catch-22 anyone?
Oh well. I'll just do the same old thing, and just ride it out. See what happens. It's been working so far? Right? Right?
as always....you know the drill.
Me and James are boys again, which is fucking awesome. It's just like old times, except now we make fun of christine too, occasionally...that's bad I know, but there's just no point in denying certain humorous aspects of the whole situation. Like, sometimes she'll try to joke with him like nothing had really happened, and his response will have this subtle undercurrent of venom in it, and it makes me smile cuz I've never seen that from James before. That and I'll just look at christine and think "Ha bitch! How does it feel being the center of all the negative attention? How does it feel to be the cause of akward silences and situations?" Yeah, that's bad that I think that..but oh well. I also know that even though I don't have the right to be, I feel vindicted. Like, now they've had a taste of what I was going through, sort of. Christine especially. I wonder what's going through her head, now that she's on the receiving end for once. But all that is just water now..everything is as it should be. Christine and I shouldn't be together, which has been no secret for awhile now, christine and james shouldn't be together either, at least not at the moment, and james and I should still be boys. So while nobody got exactly what they thought they wanted, everything turned out they way it should have, I think. And that, my friends, is that.
Nothing really exciting in the love-life arena...the whole Geri situation kinda went *makes rasberry sound*, which sucks because shes cool and all, and it seemed like she was really into me. But the thing is, I really don't want a girlfriend right now. I mean, sure it would be nice and everything, but I don't want to fall into that whole rebound turned relationship trap again. That was one of the things that got me into the mess I am in today...amanda was a rebound from becca, then that relationship got all serious, then went to shit, and then christine was a rebound from amanda, and I guess we all know how that turned out. I just want the connection, and even though I'm sure most of you will probably call bullshit, it doesn't even have to have sex involved. In fact, I don't want it to. I just want to be able to be chill with the girl, get fucked up once in awhile, and have some good conversations with. Someone to go on adventures with, ya know? Like, I don't want to even flirt with the idea of being in a relationship with this girl, which is never going to happen, because every time I meet a girl, I always at least consider it. So yeah, if you're a female and you're friends with me, then I've probably thought of you in some kind of relationship sense. Now, nothing serious or anything, but little "what ifs?" here and there. Shit like that. And the thing is, I don't think I can help it. It just happens automatically. So basically, that particular goal is pretty much fucked. Seriously, I think I just might go gay. Well, wait...scratch that...maybe I'll just pretend to be gay..cuz I'm really not to keen on touching other dudes genetalia or anything, and there ain't gonna be no "whos the pitcher and catcher" shit going on...it just, girls are confusing, complicated, and usually more full of bullshit than I am. So I figure, eliminate the problem right? and it's not about sex or anything, so I don't have to worry about actually DOING anything, and the whole being gay thing will keep me from being able to get with girls romantically or physically.
Ya know, that is actually a really, really stupid idea.....but then again, the simplest ideas right? But no, I know this 'soul mate' of mine is out there somewhere. I can feel it...sometimes it seems like shes right near by but I'm completely missing it. I'm trying not to actually be on the look-out, or search for it, but the harder I try not to, the more I wind up thinking about it. FUCK. Catch-22 anyone?
Oh well. I'll just do the same old thing, and just ride it out. See what happens. It's been working so far? Right? Right?
as always....you know the drill.