Insert Dramatic Re-entry Here
I have this feeling like I'm lacking a spine by coming back to my good ol' LJ. I know that roughly 9 months ago I "discontinued" it, and swore it off as a chapter in my life that has been closed. However, my reasons for ending it's use have flown past me, and frankly, I felt that I needed to be back here now more than ever. I tried another blog, and it just simply wasn't the same. How lame do I sound right now? Haha. Anyways, the final straw occurred to me when I was having a rough day and decided that I would read and see what I was doing this very day, four years ago. Then it hit me. Four years! Four years of history! I can't leave that behind. This thing got me through the best and worst of times. And now I think I need it more than ever.
Wow. I had all of these ideas of what I was going to write, and yet, here lies the same problems of not knowing how to get it out on...er...virtual paper. Hm. Well not much has changed. Ha! Listen to me. "Not much." Of course a lot has changed! Not with myself per se, but rather with the world around me. The ones I've been closest with most of my life have all split up, going their own way to discover exactly what life means to them. Traveling down different paths, we all have embarked on that journey that we've been preparing for all our lives. And where do I stand in all of this? Roughly the same spot. A little wounded from battle, but still the same. I still hold dearly my hopes and dreams, only now I must battle the harsh being known as reality. It's a difficult thing to cope with really. And now, more than ever, I've been questioning my convictions and trying to find the proper path to travel. Right at this very moment I find myself in a period of transition, far greater than any I've ever known. The right path? Who knows. We'll find out soon enough, as only time will tell. And as we all know, time has a ruthless way of sneaking up on you.
That brings me to my current situation. Life right now, as I'm living it. I've found temporary solace through distractions, but I've yet to settle on anything concrete. I just know that my life currently isn't traveling anywhere close to any direction I'd wish it would go in. And that needs to change. And it will. Soon enough...
Simply put, losing touch sucks. My best friend is in Indiana and we really do speak rarely. People who I saw on a daily basis I will talk to randomly very sparingly. Is it that weird that just the other day we were reminiscing about the "crazy ol' days back in high school"? Really now? Ah growing up sucks. Now I just sound whiny. Oh well. Must cope.
Although, that's not to say I haven't grown up in a different sense altogether as well. I've come to the realization that high school really did get to me. I fell into a clique, and as much as I thought I broke it during the time, I really didn't. I followed rather than leading, and looking back on that, I was a nincompoop. Honestly! I lost touch with people whom I still care deeply about, and I don't think that they know that. So I've given myself a mission to reclaim that lost territory, to restore what used to be, and to wholeheartedly make amends where necessary.
I read my old LJ's and laugh and miss those times. Then I re-read my simple blogs that I've recorded this year and my heart sinks, and I'm instantly wrought with fear and disgust. So...it feels good to be back. Because let's face it, writing is an outlet that everyone should have. And I'm no different.
So if you've read my declaration of return, then kudos to you. And if you're reading my journal, I hope you know that I probably miss you more than you know. So drop a comment here if I haven't talked to you in a while and let me know you're still alive, or even if I have talked to you recently, you can never get enough of your friends. :)
Love.
Wow. I had all of these ideas of what I was going to write, and yet, here lies the same problems of not knowing how to get it out on...er...virtual paper. Hm. Well not much has changed. Ha! Listen to me. "Not much." Of course a lot has changed! Not with myself per se, but rather with the world around me. The ones I've been closest with most of my life have all split up, going their own way to discover exactly what life means to them. Traveling down different paths, we all have embarked on that journey that we've been preparing for all our lives. And where do I stand in all of this? Roughly the same spot. A little wounded from battle, but still the same. I still hold dearly my hopes and dreams, only now I must battle the harsh being known as reality. It's a difficult thing to cope with really. And now, more than ever, I've been questioning my convictions and trying to find the proper path to travel. Right at this very moment I find myself in a period of transition, far greater than any I've ever known. The right path? Who knows. We'll find out soon enough, as only time will tell. And as we all know, time has a ruthless way of sneaking up on you.
That brings me to my current situation. Life right now, as I'm living it. I've found temporary solace through distractions, but I've yet to settle on anything concrete. I just know that my life currently isn't traveling anywhere close to any direction I'd wish it would go in. And that needs to change. And it will. Soon enough...
Simply put, losing touch sucks. My best friend is in Indiana and we really do speak rarely. People who I saw on a daily basis I will talk to randomly very sparingly. Is it that weird that just the other day we were reminiscing about the "crazy ol' days back in high school"? Really now? Ah growing up sucks. Now I just sound whiny. Oh well. Must cope.
Although, that's not to say I haven't grown up in a different sense altogether as well. I've come to the realization that high school really did get to me. I fell into a clique, and as much as I thought I broke it during the time, I really didn't. I followed rather than leading, and looking back on that, I was a nincompoop. Honestly! I lost touch with people whom I still care deeply about, and I don't think that they know that. So I've given myself a mission to reclaim that lost territory, to restore what used to be, and to wholeheartedly make amends where necessary.
I read my old LJ's and laugh and miss those times. Then I re-read my simple blogs that I've recorded this year and my heart sinks, and I'm instantly wrought with fear and disgust. So...it feels good to be back. Because let's face it, writing is an outlet that everyone should have. And I'm no different.
So if you've read my declaration of return, then kudos to you. And if you're reading my journal, I hope you know that I probably miss you more than you know. So drop a comment here if I haven't talked to you in a while and let me know you're still alive, or even if I have talked to you recently, you can never get enough of your friends. :)
Love.