...better off dead inside....

[funky_bass009]

well, i had more fun than a well-oiled midget today, unfortuanately i still feel like a midget, but now in a crowded elevator (i just want to get out of here) i dont know why i just dont feel like i can be happy here, i think it actually is this town or the ppl in it or something, cuz i was talking to someone who recently moved, and they seem really happy. if i had the opprtunity to move i would prolly take it right now. its pissing me off. i wanted to make some good memories this summer but thats not gonna happen, unless i can get my parents to let my friend adam to live with me. that would fucking rock, drink, play g-fiddles, video games, and watch movies all day and night, then have chad drive over every couple of days for band practice, be fun fun fun... but my parents are both in shitty moods, and havent spoken in a week. i dont get it personally but fuck'em.hmmm, i need a gf bad, that would make me very happy right now, unless its one of those bitches that spends my bass fund, and causes stress. a nice low-maintinence girl would be nice right now, or just someone i hang out with all the time. god knows i can only stand my friend john for so long... i just need some way for my mind body and soul to find respite (bass and alcohol just cant do it anymore) before i go crazy and just drive off, no looking back... if i did do it, id go to cailifornia... i might be able to make it as a musician, or an artist or something there...sure its a huge downgrade from what i want out of life, but its better than this perfect hell im in right now...unfortuanately no one has called my bluff on my "lie" yet. i need to vent, but i wont dump my shit on someone unless they ask for it, and know what their asking for. well im gonna go play the g-fiddle for hours (like always).

P.S. ppl who know they are needed have no idea how nice that is. i wish i didnt have to listen to them comlain all the time about it. god i am stereotypical right now. ah fuck it, im better off on my own.