126 lbs :o)
Well, i layed in bed for about 3 hours last night.. i couldn't sleep, and i had a lot on my mind. I've come to the conclusion, that i still don't know who i am and i'm so angry about it. Im completely not happy with my sexuality. Like i know what i want, and what i don't want.. and im still not comfortable with it. And as for next year, i want it so badly, but i'm like sitting here watching myself do nothing to get it. It is so completely frustrating.. ugh. And i lost all this weight.. 15 lbs.. and im still not happy with myself. Um and i have the girl of my dreams, the one who's had my heart since the day i met her. My first love. And even that isnt making things better. Maybe im just freaking out because school is next week. Or because i have my freaking period.. or maybe its just cuz im worried about next year. This vacation hasn't been a vacation. It's been me sitting here staring at a wall.
And my bestfriend.. well, he has his head up his ass.. and only cares when its convient for him. Which usually happens at 1 am or 7 in the morning. I don't know why i put up with him doing this to me. I'm so pathetic. I need to go out tonight.. and actually do something. It's my last week of sanity.