Edit Me... For the Good of the World!
There's a job I'm trying to get. It's a desk job, it involves writing, it's many things that I'm looking for.
It's also the first time I've ever had to submit a writing sample.
So I wrote a little something, a review of the movie Brick. And I want this thing to be good. I know that there are many, many writers amongst my friends here, so I'm ( Read more... )
It's also the first time I've ever had to submit a writing sample.
So I wrote a little something, a review of the movie Brick. And I want this thing to be good. I know that there are many, many writers amongst my friends here, so I'm ( Read more... )
Graph #2-"He ducks his head as he walks through the halls, eats his lunch behind the school, hiding away from everyone but his only friend, the nerdy Brain. " -I would put a period between halls and eats and make it 2 seperate sentences.
Graph # 3-"partly because of a deep-seated need to rebel and partly for fear of actually connecting with other people." I would put commas before and after the and. -"partly because of a deep-seated need to rebel, and ,partly for fear of actually connecting with other people.
Graph # 4- "Gordon-Levitt's portrayal of Brendan, a kid with deep reserves of determination and uncanny perception, and his unwavering commitment to the reality of his character that makes this movie work."- shouldn't this be preceded with the words "it is". -It is Gordon-Levitt's portrayal of Brendan, a kid with deep reserves of determination and uncanny perception, and his unwavering commitment to the reality of his character that makes this movie work. Gordon-Levitt shows us the growing fractures in Brendan as he becomes exhausted and beaten, often
Graph #5- Agree with Jim on this one.- it should read-The alluring rich girl Laura, the wicked sex pot Kara, the street punk Dode, and the brutal enforcer Tug, they all add intriguing angles for Brendan to stumble his way through
Good luck Michael.Let us know how you make out.
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