Avatar crossover! ...only not really.
I think today's suethor was too "inspired" by Avatar: The Last Airbender.
"Elemental Alchemy"
TITLE: A Choice Love or Skin (This really, really disturbs me.)
SINNER AUTHOR'S NAME: Anime Freakgrl
NUMBER OR SPORKS IT TAKES TO KILL THIS SUE:
FULL NAME(with titles): Samantha "Sam" Elm, the "Full Fledged" Alchemist
SPECIES: Human/Alchemist
AGE:
HAIR (with adjectives): "had long brown hair that came down to the middle of my back when I let it down (which was rare)", "Had my hair in a messy bun with two strands of hair framing my face"
EYES (with adjectives): "bright baby blue eyes"
UNUSUAL MARKINGS: none
POSSESSIONS: Healing alchemy books passed down through her family, and the normal alchemy books.
ANNOYING ORIGIN: South West City (you know... like East City, but Southwest.. ha. ha. ha. no.) Her father (named Johnathan Elm) was an amazing alchemist who came close to creating the philosopher's stone with a very small amount of sacrifices, but she hates him.
ANNOYING CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Mustang wants Ed and Al to travel to South West City to get her so she can take the State Alchemy exam. She passes, becomes the "Full Fledged Alchemist"
ANNOYING SPECIAL ABILITIES: Oh vey, where do I start?
Fire Alchemy - Like Roy's, but more controlled and somehow she can shape it into balls and make things spontaneously combust.
Wind Alchemy - She moves air around by will.
Healing Alchemy - The suethor first says the the healing alchemy is an inheritance. Then, halfway through the sentence, she remembers alchemy is a skill, not a trait and can be learned, so she adds some crap about only one family having all the books on it (hers, of course). And it's a combination of all the other elements.
"all the other elements" - fire, wind, earth, wind, light, metal, crystal
AND. She can do alchemy without a circle. (But at least the suethor knows that you have to had had contact with the Gate. So I'm assuming it's part of her mysteeeeerious past.)
OTHER ANNOYING TRAITS: She visibly sweatdrops and manages to burn Roy's hair.
WHY THIS SUE IS PAINFUL:
First of all, when I first read the part where she tries to combine Fire and Wind and she first forms both into balls and shmushes them together, the first thing I thought was "Avatar" Then she described her hair, and I immediatly think "Zula". Then came the "healing alchemy" (Katara!). And then came the part where she lists her "elements".
I showed them a bit of everything: fire, water, earth, wind, light, metal crystal First four made me start laughing. The next three were glaring examples of frequent featured Sue Powers on avatarsues.
I'm done being an Avatard. Back to this fandom.
Anyway, there was an amazing character study on Roy a couple of months ago that was pimped on royai. In it, it was talking about reasons why Roy's fire moved in a zig zag manner, something about gases being uncontrollable. An alchemist is considered REALLY good if he/she can even manage to get flames it in the general direction of his target, but Roy can hit targets so that makes him UBERLY BEYOND good. Keep that in mind.
Today's suethor decides she'll give her sue sparklypoo powers and also give her amazing command of them. Then, in about the fifth-seventh character, she tries to make an effort of showing a weakness (or maybe they're just studying for the exam), and shows Ed tutoring her on alchemy, fire alchemy for that matter (which she already knows). Then, later, she manages to throw a fire*ball* at Roy's head and sets his hair on fire.
Since Roy is so good because he can hit a target, this girl's even better! She can form fire into spheres! But she still need's Ed's tutoring for the alchemy exam. Why BOTHER taking the exam? Really, it would save my brain from processing 7 chapters, and I'd have more to pick at.
This Sue makes me laugh. But not in a good way.
SAMPLE:
I sat in my armchair reading one of my alchemy books. I was trying to see what would happen if I mixed fire and wind together.
I put the book down, finding nothing useful in it.
"What the hell," I say walking over to the middle of the room.
I was your average looking teenager. I had long brown hair that came down to the middle of my back when I let it down (which was rare) and bright baby blue eyes.
I wore blue- jeans a red tube top and a black leather jacket with brown hiking boots. Had my hair in a messy bun with two strands of hair framing my face.(Zula! *cough* Sorry.)
I stand in the center and look out the window. "It's late," I say," People in the town and city are probably asleep."
I think for a moment and shrug my shoulders saying, “Oh well. Lets do it anyways!"
I smiled one of my mischievous smiles. You would think knowing my history I wouldn't be able to laugh or smile. But my emotions were very strange along with my personality.
I summon (She uses the word summon.Ignited, started, lit, ANYTHING is better than "summon".) fire to my right hand and wind with the other. I brought them together and started to combine them.
I pushed them together and made it into a ball just like you might with snow. It was a successful combination. (Never mind that wind is just moving air and fire already needs air to burn, therefore "wind" is already a part of fire.)
"Cool and it didn't blow up anything this time!" I laughed. I was so excited about my combination that I wasn't watching were I was going.
I tripped over one of the books I had left lying around and the ball I had made went flying through the air.
"Oh Shit!" I yelled trying to catch it. I watched it fly through the air in slow motion. Then it hit the wall and disappeared.
The house began to tremble and I see the walls of my house begging to collapse on me. (I would expect a big fireball to explode, not be sucked into the wall and cause a quake.)
"Oh Shit," I yell again. I put my hand up and make an earth shield but that soon collapsed on me too. (Earthbending! XD)
All sorts of rubble fell on top of me. I felt my body scream with pain as I fell to the ground buried alive.
'Oh well' I think fighting to stay conscious,' Someone will come and dig me out just like last time'
I chuckled a bit and soon stopped because the rubble began to fall even more on me. I listen for a few minuets and hear voices outside my demolished house.
" Thank God," I say. (She's blown up her house more than once. After the second time, I really think the city'll get just a tad annoyed.)
"Elemental Alchemy"
TITLE: A Choice Love or Skin (This really, really disturbs me.)
SINNER AUTHOR'S NAME: Anime Freakgrl
NUMBER OR SPORKS IT TAKES TO KILL THIS SUE:
FULL NAME(with titles): Samantha "Sam" Elm, the "Full Fledged" Alchemist
SPECIES: Human/Alchemist
AGE:
HAIR (with adjectives): "had long brown hair that came down to the middle of my back when I let it down (which was rare)", "Had my hair in a messy bun with two strands of hair framing my face"
EYES (with adjectives): "bright baby blue eyes"
UNUSUAL MARKINGS: none
POSSESSIONS: Healing alchemy books passed down through her family, and the normal alchemy books.
ANNOYING ORIGIN: South West City (you know... like East City, but Southwest.. ha. ha. ha. no.) Her father (named Johnathan Elm) was an amazing alchemist who came close to creating the philosopher's stone with a very small amount of sacrifices, but she hates him.
ANNOYING CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Mustang wants Ed and Al to travel to South West City to get her so she can take the State Alchemy exam. She passes, becomes the "Full Fledged Alchemist"
ANNOYING SPECIAL ABILITIES: Oh vey, where do I start?
Fire Alchemy - Like Roy's, but more controlled and somehow she can shape it into balls and make things spontaneously combust.
Wind Alchemy - She moves air around by will.
Healing Alchemy - The suethor first says the the healing alchemy is an inheritance. Then, halfway through the sentence, she remembers alchemy is a skill, not a trait and can be learned, so she adds some crap about only one family having all the books on it (hers, of course). And it's a combination of all the other elements.
"all the other elements" - fire, wind, earth, wind, light, metal, crystal
AND. She can do alchemy without a circle. (But at least the suethor knows that you have to had had contact with the Gate. So I'm assuming it's part of her mysteeeeerious past.)
OTHER ANNOYING TRAITS: She visibly sweatdrops and manages to burn Roy's hair.
WHY THIS SUE IS PAINFUL:
First of all, when I first read the part where she tries to combine Fire and Wind and she first forms both into balls and shmushes them together, the first thing I thought was "Avatar" Then she described her hair, and I immediatly think "Zula". Then came the "healing alchemy" (Katara!). And then came the part where she lists her "elements".
I showed them a bit of everything: fire, water, earth, wind, light, metal crystal First four made me start laughing. The next three were glaring examples of frequent featured Sue Powers on avatarsues.
I'm done being an Avatard. Back to this fandom.
Anyway, there was an amazing character study on Roy a couple of months ago that was pimped on royai. In it, it was talking about reasons why Roy's fire moved in a zig zag manner, something about gases being uncontrollable. An alchemist is considered REALLY good if he/she can even manage to get flames it in the general direction of his target, but Roy can hit targets so that makes him UBERLY BEYOND good. Keep that in mind.
Today's suethor decides she'll give her sue sparklypoo powers and also give her amazing command of them. Then, in about the fifth-seventh character, she tries to make an effort of showing a weakness (or maybe they're just studying for the exam), and shows Ed tutoring her on alchemy, fire alchemy for that matter (which she already knows). Then, later, she manages to throw a fire*ball* at Roy's head and sets his hair on fire.
Since Roy is so good because he can hit a target, this girl's even better! She can form fire into spheres! But she still need's Ed's tutoring for the alchemy exam. Why BOTHER taking the exam? Really, it would save my brain from processing 7 chapters, and I'd have more to pick at.
This Sue makes me laugh. But not in a good way.
SAMPLE:
I sat in my armchair reading one of my alchemy books. I was trying to see what would happen if I mixed fire and wind together.
I put the book down, finding nothing useful in it.
"What the hell," I say walking over to the middle of the room.
I was your average looking teenager. I had long brown hair that came down to the middle of my back when I let it down (which was rare) and bright baby blue eyes.
I wore blue- jeans a red tube top and a black leather jacket with brown hiking boots. Had my hair in a messy bun with two strands of hair framing my face.(Zula! *cough* Sorry.)
I stand in the center and look out the window. "It's late," I say," People in the town and city are probably asleep."
I think for a moment and shrug my shoulders saying, “Oh well. Lets do it anyways!"
I smiled one of my mischievous smiles. You would think knowing my history I wouldn't be able to laugh or smile. But my emotions were very strange along with my personality.
I summon (She uses the word summon.Ignited, started, lit, ANYTHING is better than "summon".) fire to my right hand and wind with the other. I brought them together and started to combine them.
I pushed them together and made it into a ball just like you might with snow. It was a successful combination. (Never mind that wind is just moving air and fire already needs air to burn, therefore "wind" is already a part of fire.)
"Cool and it didn't blow up anything this time!" I laughed. I was so excited about my combination that I wasn't watching were I was going.
I tripped over one of the books I had left lying around and the ball I had made went flying through the air.
"Oh Shit!" I yelled trying to catch it. I watched it fly through the air in slow motion. Then it hit the wall and disappeared.
The house began to tremble and I see the walls of my house begging to collapse on me. (I would expect a big fireball to explode, not be sucked into the wall and cause a quake.)
"Oh Shit," I yell again. I put my hand up and make an earth shield but that soon collapsed on me too. (Earthbending! XD)
All sorts of rubble fell on top of me. I felt my body scream with pain as I fell to the ground buried alive.
'Oh well' I think fighting to stay conscious,' Someone will come and dig me out just like last time'
I chuckled a bit and soon stopped because the rubble began to fall even more on me. I listen for a few minuets and hear voices outside my demolished house.
" Thank God," I say. (She's blown up her house more than once. After the second time, I really think the city'll get just a tad annoyed.)