April Update
Discouragement.
It's something we all face. For some of us, it's at school. For some of us, it's at home. For the unlucky some of us, it's almost everywhere. The fortunate few of us find a safe haven, somewhere where we seem normal or feel like we're part of something bigger and better than what we're accustomed to; some place that makes us happy.
Some people take refuge is the abuse of drugs or alcohol. Or, for a lot of people I know, both. These are people who don't have anything to make them smile where it matters - inside. And most of the time, they don't know why they're doing whatever their doing. Simple excuses like "everybody else is doing it" and "I'm young, I'm living in the moment" become the basis for addiction, whether we admit it or not.
Some people feel safe in music. Some people feel that when they create it, they're in control of something. Something solid, but then again not. The perfect mix of underrated and overrated. Their music is something they can call their own. These are musicians.
Some people find that people can be their haven. Friends can be defined as people that you can find common ground with, and that can lead to true happiness. Sometimes, family can be the answer to your woe. Either way, a person can be a canvas for the joy you want to create.
But some people are too afraid to make music. Some people can't afford drugs. Some people are socially awkward or can't keep a friend for the life of them.
Some people live in discouragement.
Sometimes these people realize that they don't smoke enough marijuana, or don't know how to play guitar and can't sing, or repel personal relationships like magnets withouts opposing poles to connect to.
I don't have friends that I can rely on, I can't play guitar, I certainly can't sing, and I don't smoke much.
So what am I supposed to do to make me happy?
This month, all hell broke loose in my heart and mind. I want to be different, so that I can be the person I want to be, instead of the person that I am, but change, I've found, isn't real. Kyle will never love me, I will never be skinny or know real friendship in any place but the telephone and the computer, and I'll always be second best to everyone. And you will always tell me you love me, but never show it.
2010 was supposed to be a year of change for all of us. For some people, it meant the end of tragedy and heartbreak. For some, it just meant a new beginning. For me, it meant starting over, and finding something new in life to fill the hole that appeared a few years ago.
The year is almost half over.
Nothing has changed.
People promise change; the leaders of our nations, the boyfriends we fought to have, the friends who broke our hearts. But nobody delivers anything but discouragement, sadness, and disappointment.
So what are we to do with ourselves?
I suppose all we can do it hope. We can try to live life to the fullest. We can hate less, love more, and enjoy things that aren't necessarily perfect. We can watch people do we they love and not judge them for doing what they do, no matter how or how well they do it.
Hope you had a better April than me.
It's something we all face. For some of us, it's at school. For some of us, it's at home. For the unlucky some of us, it's almost everywhere. The fortunate few of us find a safe haven, somewhere where we seem normal or feel like we're part of something bigger and better than what we're accustomed to; some place that makes us happy.
Some people take refuge is the abuse of drugs or alcohol. Or, for a lot of people I know, both. These are people who don't have anything to make them smile where it matters - inside. And most of the time, they don't know why they're doing whatever their doing. Simple excuses like "everybody else is doing it" and "I'm young, I'm living in the moment" become the basis for addiction, whether we admit it or not.
Some people feel safe in music. Some people feel that when they create it, they're in control of something. Something solid, but then again not. The perfect mix of underrated and overrated. Their music is something they can call their own. These are musicians.
Some people find that people can be their haven. Friends can be defined as people that you can find common ground with, and that can lead to true happiness. Sometimes, family can be the answer to your woe. Either way, a person can be a canvas for the joy you want to create.
But some people are too afraid to make music. Some people can't afford drugs. Some people are socially awkward or can't keep a friend for the life of them.
Some people live in discouragement.
Sometimes these people realize that they don't smoke enough marijuana, or don't know how to play guitar and can't sing, or repel personal relationships like magnets withouts opposing poles to connect to.
I don't have friends that I can rely on, I can't play guitar, I certainly can't sing, and I don't smoke much.
So what am I supposed to do to make me happy?
This month, all hell broke loose in my heart and mind. I want to be different, so that I can be the person I want to be, instead of the person that I am, but change, I've found, isn't real. Kyle will never love me, I will never be skinny or know real friendship in any place but the telephone and the computer, and I'll always be second best to everyone. And you will always tell me you love me, but never show it.
2010 was supposed to be a year of change for all of us. For some people, it meant the end of tragedy and heartbreak. For some, it just meant a new beginning. For me, it meant starting over, and finding something new in life to fill the hole that appeared a few years ago.
The year is almost half over.
Nothing has changed.
People promise change; the leaders of our nations, the boyfriends we fought to have, the friends who broke our hearts. But nobody delivers anything but discouragement, sadness, and disappointment.
So what are we to do with ourselves?
I suppose all we can do it hope. We can try to live life to the fullest. We can hate less, love more, and enjoy things that aren't necessarily perfect. We can watch people do we they love and not judge them for doing what they do, no matter how or how well they do it.
Hope you had a better April than me.