And so it goes.
Well, I found out today that Casey has come to the genius conclusion that I had already decided what I wanted when I said "Let's not date for a week." He has presumably been running on that assumption (oh this is dangerous) most of this week. Before this realization, I looked forward to clearing the air on Saturday. Now I sort of dread it because I'm afraid that he won't be responsive enough to make any sort of progress. It seems to me that he's just been licking his wounds all week as opposed to trying to figure things out. Let's hope that's not the case. Anyhow, I talked to him,and I hope I got the message across.
I'm going to talk to him again tomorrow after physics, to convey what I want to talk about on Saturday and ask him if he would want that also.
I think that there's only one issue left for my ruminations about this relationship so far and that's the issue of pot. (again). Lindsey pointed out to me that you can't put a moral sticker on "stonerdom" because you have to go on a case by case basis. So basically, I should ask Casey why he smokes pot all the time.
I think that the impact that his stoner habits have on me in the future is more important than any judgment that I could pass on them, which makes me think that maybe I shouldn't bring it up, but I probably will. However, I think that the more date based relationship will show me whether we should be together or not. Because, if he can't not be high at an appointed time for a few hours at most, then screw that. At the same time, ...ok. So the boundary is, if he's high enough to where I'm not enjoying myself during dates and no longer want to do that, then I won't. There we go. Problem solved, until I try to communicate it to him.
Okay, so I need to think about what I'm going to say to him tomorrow:
I want to tell him that What I envision for Saturday is a discussion about our relationship, as in, an attempt to understand what was going on between us, and what changes we should make. I want an honest and open discussion about what happened and what our options are for the future.
SO here's what I say:
"I don't know what you're expecting the nature of our conversation on Saturday to be, and I wanted to make sure that we were on the same page. What I would like to do is have an honest and open discussion about the problems that we faced and are still facing as a couple and as individuals that pertain to our relationship. I was hoping that the conversation would be an attempt to understand each other and move forward in whatever direction seems appropriate after we feel that we understand the situation. Maybe I'm belabouring this too much, and I'm sorry if I'm being really heavy handed and obvious. I just want to make sure that we have this understanding. If you don't want to have that conversation, that's fine, I'm understanding of that. Just please tell me, so that I can stop looking forward to it.
I'm going to talk to him again tomorrow after physics, to convey what I want to talk about on Saturday and ask him if he would want that also.
I think that there's only one issue left for my ruminations about this relationship so far and that's the issue of pot. (again). Lindsey pointed out to me that you can't put a moral sticker on "stonerdom" because you have to go on a case by case basis. So basically, I should ask Casey why he smokes pot all the time.
I think that the impact that his stoner habits have on me in the future is more important than any judgment that I could pass on them, which makes me think that maybe I shouldn't bring it up, but I probably will. However, I think that the more date based relationship will show me whether we should be together or not. Because, if he can't not be high at an appointed time for a few hours at most, then screw that. At the same time, ...ok. So the boundary is, if he's high enough to where I'm not enjoying myself during dates and no longer want to do that, then I won't. There we go. Problem solved, until I try to communicate it to him.
Okay, so I need to think about what I'm going to say to him tomorrow:
I want to tell him that What I envision for Saturday is a discussion about our relationship, as in, an attempt to understand what was going on between us, and what changes we should make. I want an honest and open discussion about what happened and what our options are for the future.
SO here's what I say:
"I don't know what you're expecting the nature of our conversation on Saturday to be, and I wanted to make sure that we were on the same page. What I would like to do is have an honest and open discussion about the problems that we faced and are still facing as a couple and as individuals that pertain to our relationship. I was hoping that the conversation would be an attempt to understand each other and move forward in whatever direction seems appropriate after we feel that we understand the situation. Maybe I'm belabouring this too much, and I'm sorry if I'm being really heavy handed and obvious. I just want to make sure that we have this understanding. If you don't want to have that conversation, that's fine, I'm understanding of that. Just please tell me, so that I can stop looking forward to it.