a million words of nothing
i've never been one to hide in a corner waiting for the period to end so i can go home and be alone. I'd rather have cigarette smoke in my eyes than endure the stinging pain of lonelyness. BUt this random change in mine own attitude due to the life i now lead is enough to send a shiver down my spine. i couldn't hate it more if i tried...yet there's
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wow...you know everything don't you. I wasn't a blonde ditzy prep...i was the same i just didn't dye my hair yet...WHATEVER
and nothing about me is suicidal...don't tell me what i am when we haven't even talked in months.
yeah when I write stuff on here it's usually not happy...that's probably becasue of the fact that NOTHING in my life right now is positive excpet for the fact that i'm not on drugs anymore...it's called an OUTLET. oh fucking well. I have plenty of real freinds that just happen to live 3 hours away from me...which is a lot of thr reason everything sucks right now. YOu don't know a single damn true thing about me. I'm not emo because I have black hair and i'm not fitting myself into some trend...if i'm sad it's becasue i have MORE than enough reason to be...if your mom was dying and you were away from everyone you love, stuck in a town you hate with no rights, basically living in a jail in which your every move is calculated and your family was doing everything they possbile could to keep you away from your mom and everyone who means anything to you and trying to force you to go to a school you don't want to go to with a million people you don't give a shit about...and you had no idea where your future was going to be...and you had NO ONE to talk to....you wouldn't be so happy either...and you would need an OUTLET too. So in the future, don't be such a DICK unless you know what the fuck you are talking about, k?
<33manda
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