(no subject)
So I do believe I am fairly sick of people in general. A while back this fugly girl comes in and asks us for a No Income Affidavit and applies for a library card with the Homeless Coalition [or YWCA or Salvation Army - I don't really remember, they're all the same thing] address. She then proceeds to ask for help setting up her *new* laptop. -_- Then just last week her and her fugly little sister and "gansta" boyfriend are sitting at a table on their laptop and George [our "security" guard. He's amazing and awesome and I love him and wish he was my grandpa!] came over to where I was straightening the DVDs and told me I had a call on line 1 and I hopped off the stool and we joked about how I grew and we high-fived because that's just how we roll and these 3 nasties start making fun of me! "I can't believe it! OMG! She works here! How gay! OMG!" And continued to laugh and point at me the rest of the day. =( And they are in almost everyday. It bugs me, like I'm sure it shouldn't because you know, at least I HAVE a job but....It's like this every summer when teenagers are in the library for longer periods of time during my shifts. Summer and when Central has their finals or whatever it is they have when Central bitches are in the library "studying". There's always these bitchy, stuck up girls who make fun of the fact that I actually work at the library. =( But whatever to them!
M.P.B. [If you haven't been following this means My Personal Boogeyman, if you don't understand what this means please read the older posts of mine, I honestly don't feel like getting in to it again....-sigh-] has reared his ugly, hateful head again in the form of a friendship. One of my very closest friends and confidantes has apparently maintained a friendship with M.P.B. Now I hope I'm not crazy, but I'm fairly certain that I should be upset by this odd turn of events. I mean by her conversing with M.P.B. then there remains a link between me and M.P.B. which is something I have diligently striven to sever. Because of The Incident [which shall hereafter be called T.I., mainly because I like abbreviated things like that ^_^] M.P.B. has received medical leave from school and therapy. Which is so terribly disconcerting considering he should, in all honest, be receiving something along the lines of jail time or whatever they do to rapists. But I wanted this all to just go away, I thought that it could and would if I just left it alone. Which was pretty much the stupidest thing ever. While he got medical leave from school I suffered through quizzes and missing school to be with Michael. While he goes to therapy I must continue my life - having great fears of mostly all males I have not known for years, being terrified of being alone and specifically of driving alone and being alone in my house, and the constant daily reminder that I let myself be in a position that this could have happened. Blaming myself for eternity. But not as much as he made me blame myself back when I believed it actually was mostly my fault. I must say that. And I have come up with a practically perfect analogy to prove how much of a psychotic weirdo he truly is. I won't bore everyone with it unless they ask for it.
So anyway this friend of mine whom has decided to be both of our friends defends herself by saying she was "brought into the middle of this and left to pick up the pieces" and was just trying to make sure "he wasn't so sad either". Both statements confound the shit out of me! I was under the impression that "BFF's" were the type of people you talk to and "bring into" during times of crisis, is this not so? Is she telling me that I should have not talked to her. Actually it was M.P.B. that "brought her into this", now that I think about it. M.P.B. used her and asked her to, basically, spy on me and make sure I was "happy" and the such. Which makes me panic considering I have been talked and conversing with my friend this entire time while she could have been telling him all aspects of my daily life. "Left to pick up the pieces" shouldn't the only pieces she should be concerned with are mine? I mean, she didn't know M.P.B. until I introduced them online and them only met M.P.B. once. Shouldn't her loyalties lay with me? Or am I completely bonkers? I am very confused.
This has added to the pain of other lost friendships.
Anyway. I have a major zit on my right cheek and I am not pleased with it at all. >.<
AND the unthinkable has happened! Despite my diligent cleanings my right nipple appears to be infected, or at least far more bothered than my left. Consequently this makes me feel quite lopsided. I have a song about this conundrum as a matter of fact - "My right nipple hurts more than my left, my right nipple hurts more than my left...my boobies are now lopsiiiiided! I am unhappyyyy!" I sing this quite often. =( I have also examined them and found that my right one seems off, it's hard to explain but I'm almost certain that the needle missed it's exact mark and came out a bit wrong. I will wait a bit and continue a rigorous cleaning pattern [<-- not the word I'm thinking of] for a while then I'll myspace message Jamie and ask him whats up and if need be I'll go into Hot Rod and have him look at it because I am SOOOO not wanting to deal with an infected piercing. Especially since I've actually done what I was supposed to! BUT! They are still super hot ^_^ and I love them. Valyri came into the bathroom when I was soaking them in the salt water solution [don't ask, it's a difficult process] and said "Ohhhh! I love it! I love them! I have boobie ear rings too! See my boobies! [lifts her shirt] And belly too! See, Candiss!? I hafta clean them. And my tattoo, I hafta clean my tattoo...My Little Ponies tattoo right here [points vaguely at her chest] hafta clean it so it doesn't get 'fected." It was one of the most adorable things ever. How many 3 year olds not only pretend they have piercings and tattoos but pretend that they have to clean them so they don't become infected. It was great. ^_^
Towngate Auditions were tonight. Great fun, as usual. Timmy and Addie were there with their dad [whom is a hott older man, btw]. Their dad and I decided he had to beat them so they wouldn't grow any taller, because both Timmy and Addie were terribly tall, Timmy was taller than I. -sigh- I hate that!
I have a headache.
M.P.B. [If you haven't been following this means My Personal Boogeyman, if you don't understand what this means please read the older posts of mine, I honestly don't feel like getting in to it again....-sigh-] has reared his ugly, hateful head again in the form of a friendship. One of my very closest friends and confidantes has apparently maintained a friendship with M.P.B. Now I hope I'm not crazy, but I'm fairly certain that I should be upset by this odd turn of events. I mean by her conversing with M.P.B. then there remains a link between me and M.P.B. which is something I have diligently striven to sever. Because of The Incident [which shall hereafter be called T.I., mainly because I like abbreviated things like that ^_^] M.P.B. has received medical leave from school and therapy. Which is so terribly disconcerting considering he should, in all honest, be receiving something along the lines of jail time or whatever they do to rapists. But I wanted this all to just go away, I thought that it could and would if I just left it alone. Which was pretty much the stupidest thing ever. While he got medical leave from school I suffered through quizzes and missing school to be with Michael. While he goes to therapy I must continue my life - having great fears of mostly all males I have not known for years, being terrified of being alone and specifically of driving alone and being alone in my house, and the constant daily reminder that I let myself be in a position that this could have happened. Blaming myself for eternity. But not as much as he made me blame myself back when I believed it actually was mostly my fault. I must say that. And I have come up with a practically perfect analogy to prove how much of a psychotic weirdo he truly is. I won't bore everyone with it unless they ask for it.
So anyway this friend of mine whom has decided to be both of our friends defends herself by saying she was "brought into the middle of this and left to pick up the pieces" and was just trying to make sure "he wasn't so sad either". Both statements confound the shit out of me! I was under the impression that "BFF's" were the type of people you talk to and "bring into" during times of crisis, is this not so? Is she telling me that I should have not talked to her. Actually it was M.P.B. that "brought her into this", now that I think about it. M.P.B. used her and asked her to, basically, spy on me and make sure I was "happy" and the such. Which makes me panic considering I have been talked and conversing with my friend this entire time while she could have been telling him all aspects of my daily life. "Left to pick up the pieces" shouldn't the only pieces she should be concerned with are mine? I mean, she didn't know M.P.B. until I introduced them online and them only met M.P.B. once. Shouldn't her loyalties lay with me? Or am I completely bonkers? I am very confused.
This has added to the pain of other lost friendships.
Anyway. I have a major zit on my right cheek and I am not pleased with it at all. >.<
AND the unthinkable has happened! Despite my diligent cleanings my right nipple appears to be infected, or at least far more bothered than my left. Consequently this makes me feel quite lopsided. I have a song about this conundrum as a matter of fact - "My right nipple hurts more than my left, my right nipple hurts more than my left...my boobies are now lopsiiiiided! I am unhappyyyy!" I sing this quite often. =( I have also examined them and found that my right one seems off, it's hard to explain but I'm almost certain that the needle missed it's exact mark and came out a bit wrong. I will wait a bit and continue a rigorous cleaning pattern [<-- not the word I'm thinking of] for a while then I'll myspace message Jamie and ask him whats up and if need be I'll go into Hot Rod and have him look at it because I am SOOOO not wanting to deal with an infected piercing. Especially since I've actually done what I was supposed to! BUT! They are still super hot ^_^ and I love them. Valyri came into the bathroom when I was soaking them in the salt water solution [don't ask, it's a difficult process] and said "Ohhhh! I love it! I love them! I have boobie ear rings too! See my boobies! [lifts her shirt] And belly too! See, Candiss!? I hafta clean them. And my tattoo, I hafta clean my tattoo...My Little Ponies tattoo right here [points vaguely at her chest] hafta clean it so it doesn't get 'fected." It was one of the most adorable things ever. How many 3 year olds not only pretend they have piercings and tattoos but pretend that they have to clean them so they don't become infected. It was great. ^_^
Towngate Auditions were tonight. Great fun, as usual. Timmy and Addie were there with their dad [whom is a hott older man, btw]. Their dad and I decided he had to beat them so they wouldn't grow any taller, because both Timmy and Addie were terribly tall, Timmy was taller than I. -sigh- I hate that!
I have a headache.