Im drunk bare wit me and read if ya care.
i dunno anymore, fuckin lifes a real bitch. read this for what it is, its not a cry for help or and of that bullshit its me sayin how i feel for once in a while. i really think i dont care much anymore, but i kno i do inside that i dont wanna give up. its like and internal fight within me, to give up or not to give up. everyday i think no i dont want to do anything but sit here and another thought in my head says "get ur ass up and do sumthin". shits really confusing and i realized no one can help me figure it out but me. I think i need to sit back and think about my life and figure out what i need and go off that. and i been thinkin alot lately that maybe i dont need any girls in my life all i need is my homies and a sober mind state and i can accomplish what i need to for now. i mean yea i love girls and all, but as my brother once told me when i was going out wit ashley, "it takes a women to make a great man fall" which in fact is so true. but life is what it is, im sure one day i'll find a girl who will be everything i want/need and more, but untill then i guess i'll sit back and wait. i can say i never said what im bout to say b4 and mean it as much as i do now and that "I HATE MY LIFE" i hate tha situtation im in, i hate everything about my life right now. yea i have alot to look forward to, but i dont have anything to look at now, i mean shit can u look at my life and tell me sumthin good about it? to be honest im a fuckin loser and i kno it now, i live in my boys basement adn i have no job, can i be anymore of a fuckin loser? no i dont think so. but it is what it is you kno, i guess i gotta be thankful for not living on tha streets. i mean yea i can count tha people who care for me on one fuckin hand but aint shit i can do bout it. choices are made blinded these days i dont think many people care who they hurt or who's heart they slaugther anymore. im jus sick of all tha disapointments and hurt adnd sorrow anymore, i need to get away from such a horrible enviorment. its sad when sumtimes u lay ur head down to sleep that u pray u wont wake up. i kno its fucked up to say, but i can say i've felt like that plenty of times. but who tha fuck cares u kno? im jus another motha fucka in this bullshit world who doesnt wanna live a bullshit life. :-( i kno i could sit here and complain for hours but what tha fuck would that do for me? all im sayin is im sick of tryin to be nice to people and they turn around and basicaly get spit tha fuck on. im sick of people always tryin to bring sum1 down when they tryin to do good in this cruel world. tha thing that happens tha most and pisses me off tha most is being lied to. and it happens all tha time. or fuckin people who never follow thru on what they say they gonna do. this life lately has been filled wit nothing but disappointmens and im sick of seeing em, i wanna see doors opeing for me not shit gettin slammed shut in my face. im done wit lookin down, or beinbg to nice, im sick of being walked on and taken for granted. it is what it is now, i gotta look out for my damn self, and not care for any 1 as much as i did b4. i've been lookin out for people 2 much i dont even care how i am. and i think thats one of my problems. fuck it, i will listen and give advice but im done tryin to help every1 out, im not superman :-( i cant do it no more i've lost all tha care and motivation to try to even attempt anymore. i cant preach to no one bout doin good with their life when i cant even do what i say for myself. fuck it tho, i dont care i need to get my shit together now and if u aint helpin u holdin me back so i dont need u. and for all these people who lie to me on a daily basis, believe me i kno whats goin on i aint stupid and yall kno who u are. so please do me tha favor and not even bother me anymore. newayz i wrote how i feel for now and im outz cuz im drunk and need sleep