i don't know if this is good or not...?!
but, lately i feel the safest walking by myself, with my warm jacket, and music playing in my ears. and during that time here, i feel the happiest.
i was walking back to my dorm tonight and the air was so cold on my face and my fingers were so cold i felt like i couldn't bend them. and i walked away from all the craziness that was behind me and when i was walking my mind felt so clear and people weren't freaking out about this party or that party. this cop that cop. it's all so boring. so i just decided to come back here.
i don't know if this makes me anti social or just smart to know when it's ok to just give up on the night. and feel good about it.
because laying here feels nice.
someone tonight, whose opinion i actually care about told me that he thought i was one of the coolest people he knows, but that i don't let people get to know me and that im not very nice to new people. it was a kinda backward compliment. and i realized when i responded and thought about my answer, how yeah i can seem like a jerk. i try to be nice to people and am nice to people i want to be nice to, but sometimes you can be as nice and friendly as you want with someone and it doesnt make a difference to them and they dont even care. it seems like people expect someone to be super nice to them and then in response they can be a jerk.
anyway,
im going to hug my teddy bear and listen to doves and it's going to be really nice & i think that makes a beautiful saturday night.
i was walking back to my dorm tonight and the air was so cold on my face and my fingers were so cold i felt like i couldn't bend them. and i walked away from all the craziness that was behind me and when i was walking my mind felt so clear and people weren't freaking out about this party or that party. this cop that cop. it's all so boring. so i just decided to come back here.
i don't know if this makes me anti social or just smart to know when it's ok to just give up on the night. and feel good about it.
because laying here feels nice.
someone tonight, whose opinion i actually care about told me that he thought i was one of the coolest people he knows, but that i don't let people get to know me and that im not very nice to new people. it was a kinda backward compliment. and i realized when i responded and thought about my answer, how yeah i can seem like a jerk. i try to be nice to people and am nice to people i want to be nice to, but sometimes you can be as nice and friendly as you want with someone and it doesnt make a difference to them and they dont even care. it seems like people expect someone to be super nice to them and then in response they can be a jerk.
anyway,
im going to hug my teddy bear and listen to doves and it's going to be really nice & i think that makes a beautiful saturday night.