To be, or not to be?

[fuchsiascreams]

Went downtown today and got registered for classes in February at the adult high school on Merivale. I decided to start with only one class to sort of ease myself into going back so that it's not as big of a shock to my system as it would be if I just started going back with a full schedule. They're actually not supposed to let anyone take less than two classes at a time, so I had to get a note from my overseeing psychiatrist so that they'd let me start off with just one. I'm gonna take SBI3U again, even though I already passed it, just because I like it. I'm good at it, and it'll boost my confidence and be easier for me to get back into the swing of things if I take something that I'm confident in my ability to do well in. If I end up having to leave again because I can't handle it, then it won't be as big of a loss, because I already have the credit. And I really hope that I can pull it off this time, because the other two times I had to drop out again it totally fucking wrecked my confidence and I couldn't even take the school courses in the anxiety program. If it's not to be, ODSP is my backdrop: they'll continue to pay for my medication and help me find a psychologist that's trained in cognitive behavioral therapy, and be able to find me subsidized housing if my dad decides to make me leave if I end up having to drop out again. I can't make any promises to him because even I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I'm really, really fucking hoping with ever fiber of my being that this is the thing that will help me get back on track.

Edit: I forgot something. Thank you, Nick, for being the person who gave me the final extra push in the form of a pep-talk. Even when I was pissed at you and someone else was my 'best friend', you were there for me at times when she wasn't. So thank you, because you might have actually just had a huge positive impact on my future. /COPYCAT MAXIMUS OUT.