(no subject)
K well. On a worse note, I'm starting that school thing on the 28th, which I'm completely fucking not ready for. I feel kind of stuck and like.. I don't know. I really really feel like Dr. Lidstone bullied me into it really, like. I just don't think I could have told her any more forcefully than I've been telling her that I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS. Like holy shit man. She completely blindsided me last week when I went to her appointment and she was like, "Oh sorry we're leaving to go meet the people who are running the school program that you're going into." Like what. You couldn't have just, I don't know, CALLED AND TOLD ME THAT THIS IS WHAT WE WERE GOING TO DO TODAY? Maybe so I could have, I don't know, fucking prepared myself for it, talked myself down a little, familiarized myself with the program, made a list of questions to ask? I'm just like, ugh. Terrified that if I drop out this time, it's going to set me back another two years like it did last time. I'm scared that like last time, it's just going to completely deflate all the confidence that I've built up and make me realize that despite all of my ambitions, I just can't do it.
lol, I'm actually watching New Moon with my dad and asphyxiating over the vomit I'm trying not to spit out all over the computer screen. brb killing myself.
lol, I'm actually watching New Moon with my dad and asphyxiating over the vomit I'm trying not to spit out all over the computer screen. brb killing myself.