(no subject)

[ftwmonroe]

hi everyone sorry i havent posted my life has been a complete mess. this totally sucks, i asked my husband for a seperation and I am living with my parents right now this totally sucks but i had to do it. He hasnt been treating me the way i deserve to be treated. I dont want to go into all the details but i need some time alone. My eating is sporadic but i feel like iim losing weight. I left my scale when i went to get my stuff from home! Ugh im so mad i need my scale. Im starting to hate food again and Ive been having mini purges that I tell myself dont count. Last time i sunk deep into ana and mia was when i lived at home and i was dealing with a break up, when i have anxiety in my life this comes back to haunt me. The familiar home and toilet are scary, they make me want to go back to my old ways. Suprisingly i eat way less here because my parents have hardly any healthy food, yesterday i ate some pasta with cheese i was starving needed something, ate a bunch and purged, then today i had some rice and 2 string cheeses and i purged them. I guess i tell myself since I didnt have a full blown binge and then purge that it doesnt count. But i know it does and i need to stop this shit.

well im going out tonight, been hanging with friends, partying having fun, drinking, trying to get my mind off this bullshit. ugh people wish me luck. :(