Trans Dating Myths?

[flcadam]

I just had a thought that I wanted to get feedback on.

When I first started transitioning, I remember that many people, who were most mostly lesbians, consistently drilled it into my head that dating is difficult for transsexuals.  Some people even asked me in a blunt manner, "Come on, seriously, who's really going to want to date you?"

However, it

Comments

[eustacecscrubb]

Hey, just a thought---some people who are transgender do use the term "transgendered" to refer to themselves, and there is a history of the "-ed" at the end of that term and others as an adjective (people are "gendered" which sometimes is used to mean there is a process, but sometimes simply just to say that they possess a gender).

I've personally changed my view (which was big on "don't say 'transgendered'"). Since some people use the term to describe themselves, and there's a history of its use not as an epithet, I'm mostly focusing now on the context and whether someone is implying something problematic. Here's a trans woman talking about the idea: http://www.paulinepark.com/2011/03/glaad-is-wrong-on-transgender-vs-transgendered/

I am guessing the person you're talking to here doesn't identify as trans*, so I think it's a good idea for them to reflect a little on their language, and whether their friends use it and what they mean by the "-ed." But, on the reason for avoiding it being that "no one was turned into anything", well, I think that one has to do with a person's own conception of gender and how it's expressed/understood.